Waiting For Someone Funny Quotes

Top 34 famous quotes & sayings about Waiting For Someone Funny.

Famous Quotes About Waiting For Someone Funny

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Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by David Rakoff
#1. But even this gives rise to another central tenet, attendant to the Comedy Is Good myth: Comedy Is Hard. Certainly well-rendered comedy is hard. All things done well require practice and work. But for the most funny people, being funny is as inevitable as being double-jointed; it is a worldview formed long before words. One is born funny. The adage, as is, is incomplete. It should be Comedy is hard ... if you're not funny. Pirouettes are almost impossible ... without legs. Jokes can be honed, made better, tighter, and cleaner, and people can even be made funnier. But you can't really make someone funny who isn't. #Quote by David Rakoff
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Oprah Winfrey
#2. Don't wait for someone else to complete you. 'Jerry Maguire' was just a movie. #Quote by Oprah Winfrey
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Tammy Falkner
#3. Do you cook like this every day?" A girl can hope, right? He shakes his head. "Only when I have someone to cook for." "God, if I lived here I'd never be able to keep the weight off." He grunts. "You could stand to gain a few pounds." I almost choke on my pasta. "That is so not funny." "I'm not trying to be funny." He shrugs. "I like curves." He looks down at my thighs and licks his lips. "I like your curves a lot." "Stop teasing." My heart thumps in my chest like a drum. "If your brothers heard you say that, you'd never live it down." "My #Quote by Tammy Falkner
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Virginia Woolf
#4. Waves of hands, hesitations at street corners, someone dropping a cigarette into the gutter-all are stories. But which is the true story? That I do not know. Hence I keep my phrases hung like clothes in a cupboard, waiting for some one to wear them. Thus waiting, thus speculating, making this note and then an· other I do not cling to life. I shall be brushed like a bee from a sunflower. My philosophy, always accumulating, welling up moment by moment, runs like quicksilver a dozen ways at once. #Quote by Virginia Woolf
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Anushka Bhartiya
#5. There comes a day in life, when you have said all that you ever wanted to say to someone. But that someone is still waiting. Waiting for words to come out. And that's when you know there is nothing much left. It is time to say goodbye. #Quote by Anushka Bhartiya
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Avicii
#6. You Make Me"
(feat. Salem Al Fakir)

[Vocals by Salem Al Fakir]

We are one,
One for sure.
All united,
You'll want some more.

Oh Oh Oh Oh
You make me!
Oh Oh Oh Oh
You make me!

We are one,
One for sure.
All united,
You'll need no more

Oh Oh Oh Oh
You make me!
Oh Oh Oh Oh

All my life I've been, I've been waiting for someone like you (yeah)
All my life I've been, I've been waiting for someone like you (yeah)

I've been looking for someone like you (yeah)
I've been waiting for someone like you (like you [x4])

You make me!

[Instrumental break]

We are one,
One's for sure.
All united,
You'll want some more.

Oh Oh Oh Oh
You make me!
Oh Oh Oh Oh
You make me!

We are one,
One's for sure.
All united,
You'll need no more

Oh Oh Oh Oh
You make me!
Oh Oh Oh Oh

All my life I've been, I've been waiting for someone like you (yeah)
All my life I've been, I've been waiting for someone like you (yeah)

I've been looking for someone like you (yeah)
I've been waiting for someone like you (like you [x4]) #Quote by Avicii
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Brandon Sanderson
#7. Hmmm. Someone has a high opinion of himself. Comes with being royalty, I suppose. Like funny hats and a fondness for beheadings. #Quote by Brandon Sanderson
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Keysha Jade
#8. You could spend a lifetime waiting for someone to love the real you but if you don't know who you really are, you are wasting your time. #Quote by Keysha Jade
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Robin Sacredfire
#9. It is very impressive, to notice that whatsoever you make a person believe about you, that person will rush to represent within his role, as if he or she was mentally programmed to play the drama being offered. People are so trapped within their mind, that they end up always acting inside a theatre, in which their part has been foreseen long before they entered the roles they represent. Likewise, they become easily predictable, programmable, influenceable, manipulated, played like a string puppet. And these puppets become funnier, when mentioning mental programming, fearing mental programing and attacking mental programming, while not realizing that they are doing it, using the words, and gestures, and even phrases, that they were programmed to do, by those who program them. The one with a poor conscience is always a poor actor within his own life. He perfectly represents it, without any awareness. If he had any, he would probably not do it. But what else could he do? As prisoners in a cell with an open door, they ask when presented with freedom: "What shall I do if all I know is this?" And so, they remain inside of it, waiting for someone to tell them an answer they cannot ever understand before they see it for themselves. #Quote by Robin Sacredfire
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Aziz Ansari
#10. In recent years behavioral scientists have shed some light on why these waiting techniques can be powerful. Let's first look at the notion that texting back right away makes you less appealing. Psychologists have conducted hundreds of studies in which they reward lab animals in different ways under different conditions. One of the most intriguing findings is that "reward uncertainty" - in which, for instance, animals cannot predict whether pushing a lever will get them food - can dramatically increase their interest in getting a reward, while also enhancing their dopamine levels so that they basically feel coked up.
If a text back from someone is considered a "reward," consider the fact that lab animals who get rewarded for pushing a lever every time will eventually slow down because they know that the next time they want a reward, it will be waiting for them. So basically, if you are the guy or girl who texts back immediately, you are taken for granted and ultimately lower your value as a reward. As a result, the person doesn't feel as much of an urge to text you or, in the case of the lab animal, push the lever. #Quote by Aziz Ansari
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Marissa Meyer
#11. With no superheroes to save the day, society would correct itself. No one would lie around waiting for handouts, expecting to be rescued. People would accept their own responsibilties. Defend their own families. And when someone mistreated another human being, their punishment would come from society itself, not some clueless government.
This is what she had fought for.
But not anymore. She had a vision of her own and, for the first time, it did not align with Ace and his ideals. Not entirely.
And so, she raised her voice and declared, simply, 'No'. #Quote by Marissa Meyer
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Katharine Hepburn
#12. Kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, lend them a helping hand. Do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return. #Quote by Katharine Hepburn
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Ming D. Liu
#13. I won't beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn't acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn't have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn't have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that. #Quote by Ming D. Liu
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Sherrilyn Kenyon
#14. You have no idea how many times in my life I've wanted to publicly bitch-slap my brother. Thank you for the amusement." Athena
"I thought you were going to choke me for it." Bethany
"Not for this. But don't think for even one heartbeat that we're friends." Athena
"I know. But I am a goddess of justice, and while I have no problem tearing open someone who deserves it, I cannot stand to see anyone, even a Greek, wrongfully tortured." Bethany
"Now can I have my body back? No offense, but I don't wear old man well." Athena #Quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Mariana Zapata
#15. What am I busy doing at lunch?" I asked. "Did you want to go pick out some more paint? Because I thought you were still working on the GTO and the SS."

"No," he answered, not moving an inch, but instead, just watching me. "I brought you fucking lunch."

He brought me - did he just say lunch?

"There's a thing in the fridge with your name on it," Rip kept going, watching me steadily. "I could use your help later if you've got time."

All I heard was something about him needing my help if I had time, but what I really focused on was the container in the fridge with my name on it.

"Come get me if you do," he said, taking a step back like he hadn't just surprised the crap out of me.

But I could still get a few thoughts together, at least enough to call out, "What am I going to be doing tomorrow?"

He was still walking backward as he told me, "I'm bringing you lunch tomorrow too."

What was happening?

What was happening?

"You don't have to bribe me to be your friend! I've been waiting for this for years, Rip," I hollered after him, ignoring the way my stomach had just felt like we'd started a descent from a steep roller-coaster ride.

I'd swear I heard a chuckle as he answered, "Get to fucking work and come get me if you've got time to help me out."

We were friends.

We were.

Favor or not, you didn't bring someone food who you weren't f #Quote by Mariana Zapata
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by G. M. Trevelyan
#16. Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing. #Quote by G. M. Trevelyan
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Claire Kent
#17. I guess I keep waiting for someone to choose me, to want me, over all the other women he could have. #Quote by Claire Kent
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Ted Chiang
#18. It's funny: when you're tranquil, you will seem to radiate light, and if someone were to paint a portrait of you like that, I'd insist that they include the halo. But when you're unhappy, you will become a klaxon, built for radiating sound; a portrait of you then could simply be a fire alarm bell. #Quote by Ted Chiang
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Alessandro Baricco
#19. ... how it would be nice if, for every sea waiting for us, there would be a river, for us.
And someone -a father, a lover, someone- able to take us by the hand and find that river -imagine it, invent it- and put us on its stream, with the lightness of one only word, goodbye. This, really, would be wonderful. It would be sweet, life, every life. And things wouldn't hurt, but they would get near taken by stream, one could first shave and then touch them and only finally be touched. Be wounded, also. Die because of them. Doesn't matter. But everything would be, finally, human. It would be enough someone's fancy -a father, a lover, someone- could invent a way, here in the middle of the silence, in this land which don't wanna talk. Clement way, and beautiful.
A way from here to the sea. #Quote by Alessandro Baricco
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Henry Cloud
#20. Page 99: ... unless something changes, the future that you can expect is more of the past. Sorry or becoming committed does not make Jim Carrey a great golfer, or made Jack nicklaus funny. Recommitment does not make a person who is unsuited for a particular position suited for it all of a sudden. Promises by someone who has a history of letting you down in a relationship mean nothing certain in terms of the future. #Quote by Henry Cloud
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Seth Godin
#21. It's not time," "Take it easy," "Wait and see," "It's someone else's turn" - none of these stalls are appropriate for a leader in search of change. There's a small price for being too early, but a huge penalty for being too late. The longer you wait to launch an innovation, the less your effort is worth. #Quote by Seth Godin
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Thomas Mann
#22. Yet there was a momentary hint of blue sky, and even this bit of light was enough to release a flash of diamonds across the wide landscape, so oddly disfigured by its snowy adventure. Usually the snow stopped at that hour of the day, as if for a quick survey of what had been achieved thus far; the rare days of sunshine seemed to serve much the same purpose - the flurries died down and the sun's direct glare attempted to melt the luscious, pure surface of drifted new snow. It was a fairy-tale world, child-like and funny. Boughs of trees adorned with thick pillows, so fluffy someone must have plumped them up; the ground a series of humps and mounds, beneath which slinking underbrush or outcrops of rock lay hidden; a landscape of crouching, cowering gnomes in droll disguises - it was comic to behold, straight out of a book of fairy tales. But if there was something roguish and fantastic about the immediate vicinity through which you laboriously made your way, the towering statues of snow-clad Alps, gazing down from the distance, awakened in you feelings of the sublime and holy. #Quote by Thomas Mann
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Thursday Euclid
#23. My whole image is a short step to the right of bondage porn. It's like I was begging you to do this to me before we even met, isn't it? Like I was just waiting for someone to belong to. I'm everything you think I am. I want everything you think I do. Explore me. #Quote by Thursday Euclid
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by A. Zavarelli
#24. This is the moment I realize that our traumas never really go away. They live inside of us, in the deepest darkest pits of our own tiny hells. Cocked and loaded, waiting for someone to come along and pull the trigger. #Quote by A. Zavarelli
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Megan Duke
#25. I never knew the difference between loving someone and being in love," he began. "I don't know why, because now it seems so obvious. I mean, it's in the name: in love. When you love someone that just means you care; but when you're in love, that means you're a part of it." He scanned the audience and landed on Paxton and Jade holding hands in the third row. "The feeling consumes you," he continued. "And when you're surrounded by that want and that need to make that other person happy, you can't see anything else. You're blind to all of the hate and the hurt that's waiting on the outside. None of it matters, because in here – in love – nothing hurts." Larson watched as a drop of his own tears fell onto the surface in front of him. "I don't care if I'm blind for the rest of my life. I loved Owen. I'm in love with him. And even though he's gone, I'll never leave this place we made. #Quote by Megan Duke
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Brandon Sanderson
#26. Yes, yes. Aim for the sun. That way if you miss, at least your arrow will fall far away, and the person it kills will likely be someone you don't know. #Quote by Brandon Sanderson
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Ilona Andrews
#27. I'll call you," he repeated.
"If you call me, I won't pick up the phone."
"You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you don't know how, ask someone. #Quote by Ilona Andrews
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Lisa Kleypas
#28. You ignorant whelp. You dare to warn me away from her? I created her. Without my influence, Charlotte would be a bovine in the country with a half-dozen children at her skirts ... or spreading her legs for every man who dropped a coin between her breasts. I've spent a fortune to make her into something far better than she was ever meant to be."
"Why don't you send me a bill?"
"It would beggar you," Radnor assured him with raw contempt.
"Send it anyway," Nick invited gently. "I'll be interested to learn the cost of creating someone. #Quote by Lisa Kleypas
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Nikki Sex
#29. Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love. #Quote by Nikki Sex
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Colleen Hoover
#30. Will and Lake,
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Unfortunately, it's also one of the hardest things in the world to hold on to, and one of the easiest to throw away.
Neither of you has a mother or a father to go to for relationship advice anymore. Neither of you has anyone to go to for a shoulder to cry on when things get touch, and they will get touch. Neither of you has someone to go to when you just want to share the funny, or the happy, or the heartache. You are both at a disadvantage when it comes to this aspect of love. You both only have each other, and because of this, you will have to work harder at building a strong foundation for your future together. You are not only each other's love; you are also one another's sole confidant.
I hand wrote some things onto strips of paper and folded them into stars. It might be an inspirational quote, an inspiring lyric, or just some downright good parental advice. I don't want you to open one and read it until you truly feel you need it. If you have a bad day, if the two of you fight, or if you just need something to lift your spirits...that's what these are for. You can open one together; you can open one alone. I just want there to be something both of you can go to, if and when you ever need it.
Will...thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives. So much of the pain and worry I've been feeling has been alleviated by the mere fact that I know my daughter is loved by you....You are a wonderfu #Quote by Colleen Hoover
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Susanna Clarke
#31. He understood for the first time that the world is not dumb at all, but merely waiting for someone to speak to it in a language it understands. #Quote by Susanna Clarke
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Rupi Kaur
#32. perhaps the saddest of all
are those who live waiting
for someone they're not
sure exists #Quote by Rupi Kaur
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by Mia Wasikowska
#33. As an actor you have to wait for someone to cast you, so you're relying on the business. #Quote by Mia Wasikowska
Waiting For Someone Funny quotes by J.M. Richards
#34. For someone who wrote a novel with a superhero named "Dark Lightning," you wouldn't think a thunderstorm would make me so nervous. #Quote by J.M. Richards

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