Sarcasm Quotes

#1. Some sarcasm is best told simply. Some humor is best told big and some is best told small. #Quote by Kevin Hart

#2. Behind every successful woman is a hungry man. #Quote by Ljupka Cvetanova

#3. Ah, sarcasm. The final refuge of the desperate. #Quote by Ashlyn Macnamara

#4. No, Jackson, they've got a big ol' reformed-slut alarm that sounds as soon as you step foot on the ground, and then a force field shoots up, separating us and catapulting you to purgatory for the length of the service. After your first six visits, they give you the option of walking there on your own while a sorcerer whispers arcane words and tries to set me up with a doctor, because that's just how Jews roll."

"I can see your sarcasm is functioning well this morning. Isn't that going to taint the pancakes?"

Ellery struggled to keep his mouth firm. "I can make my pancakes both strawberry and sarcastic. But if you want whipped cream, you're going to have to shut up, get dressed, and let me have this. Understand? #Quote by Amy Lane

#5. I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death. #Quote by Alan Bradley

#6. I don't recall either of you asking me, you know I'm a lady and I need to be asked and agree to it. #Quote by Amanda Kelly

#7. He apparently preferred dark eyes to ready smiles. Sarcasm to sweetness. Codebreakers to secretaries. #Quote by Roseanna M. White

#8. Yeah," Tamara said. "An old bowling alley. There must be a town not too far from here. But how could Aaron be there? And don't say something like 'working on his score' or 'maybe he's in a bowling league' or something like that. Be serious."
Call leaned against the rough bark of a nearby tree and resisted the urge to sit down. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to get up again. "I'm serious. It might be hard to tell in the dark, but I have my most super-serious face on. #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#9. I'm getting the feeling you don't want me to go. Are you ashamed of me? That hurts, Titty-bottum - I'm wounded."

She laughs disdainfully. "No you're not. And it has nothing to do with me not wanting you to go - you can't go. There are about thirty Austenites. As soon as they spot you, word will get out that you were in Castlebrook."

"Oh the horror, because Castlebrook is the hub of the social scene and media elites."

That was sarcasm, in case you weren't sure. Sarah is, which is why her eyes rolls behind her glasses. "It only takes one set of loose lips for the Queen to find out you were there when you're supposed to be here. And the producers don't want you going anywhere, anyway."

"I could ditch?"

She blows a puff of breath up at her dark bangs, which have fallen too close to her eyes.

And now I'm thinking about Sarah blowing things.

"And then you'll have to wear the monkey."

"I fear no man or monkey. But it is sort of creepy, isn't it?" I groan. "Fucking James."

Sarah mocks me. "Right, fucking James is trying to keep you safe and alive and not kidnapped, like it's his job or something. Bastard."

Huh, look at that. Sarah can do sarcasm too. That's sexy. And she said the word fucking - which makes me think about fucking her - on the bed, the sofa . . . Christ, in the nook. She would be absolutely wild in the nook.

Talk about a fantasy - that one's going st #Quote by Emma Chase

#10. At the best, sarcasms, bitter irony, scathing wit, are a sort of swordplay of the mind. You pink your adversary, and he is forthwith dead; and then you deserve to be hung for it. #Quote by Christian Nestell Bovee

#11. Owr brave little shank! #Quote by James Dashner

#12. Wes sat in a cracked vinyl booth picking at his fries and listening to Amanda go on and on about the dress she'd found.
' ... and it has these little lavender bows. Oh, Wes, I can't wait 'til you see it.' She gesticulated wildly, and her only saving grace right now was her amazing rack that swayed and bounced with each movement. Sometimes he swore that was the only reason he ever looked crosswise at Amanda Price. That, and her daddy's checkbook.
'And I found these shoes

'Uh huh, that's nice,' he cut her off and slid free from the booth. He held out his hand. 'Got the card?' He waved the bill in the air at her questioning gaze. Was she a little cross-eyed, maybe? He thought so. #Quote by Brandi Salazar

#13. Conversations between people can move like tennis games, swift and unpredictable. There are constant subtle visual and verbal cues, there's innuendo, sarcasm, body language, tone. Everyone occasionally fumbles an encounter, a victim of social clumsiness. It's part of being human. #Quote by Michael Finkel

#14. Do not try to sidetrack me with sarcasm and a murder," Joyce said. "Mom. #Quote by Jenn McKinlay

#15. Strange though it is,Sarov still cares about you. He told me to leave you alone. But I think, this time, I must disobey the general. You are mine! And I intend to make you suffer ... "
"Just talking to you makes me suffer," Alex said. #Quote by Anthony Horowitz

#16. I believe no satirist could breathe this air. If another Juvenal or Swift could rise up among us tomorrow, he would be hunted down. If you have any knowledge of our literature, and can give me the name of any man, American born and bred, who has anatomised our follies as a people, and not as this or that party; and who has escaped the foulest and most brutal slander, the most inveterate hatred and intolerant pursuit; it will be a strange name in my ears, believe me. #Quote by Charles Dickens

#17. Then I wondered if that was what this was, like a Brokeback Mountain thing. We'd sleep in the same bed for a year, and finally we'd do it, but we'd never talk about it, ever, and then Ben would get married and I'd be killed in Texas.
Probably not, but you can never be too careful with these things. #Quote by Bill Konigsberg

#18. [about a hat]
You can put it on and say, Hey you, person without a hat! I've got something you don't! How did I get it? Probably by being worth more to society. #Quote by Alice LeGrow

#19. When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop had told her not to make any sudden movements because they might scare me, like I'm a wild animal or something, because she kept looking at him and then at me. Finally she just said, "Hello, Jeff," and sat down again next to my father. #Quote by Michael Thomas Ford

#20. Take her home."
Nick fake salutes. "Sir,yes sir."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you,Colt," Coach Walsh says,but he smiles when he says it, so obviously he is only mad at me,not superboy Nick Colt,beloved of coaches everywhere. If I were a guy he would let me run tomorrow. #Quote by Carrie Jones

#21. Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use. #Quote by Will Advise

#22. The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch. #Quote by Dave Barry

#23. The preachers quickly learned that he could trade biblical quotations with them almost indefinitely. It was equally pointless to cite the standard Presbyterian authorities. James denounced John Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion as 'childish', dismissed John Knox as 'a knave' who ha called 'his mother a whore', and informed the minister who claimed a divine warrant to preach that 'the office of prophets was ended'. The preachers could only suffer his sarcasm in silence. #Quote by Thomas Cogswell

#24. Do not apologize. Offer sarcasm. #Quote by Ian C. Esslemont

#25. Carefully I opened my eyes and looked at him again. All his natural gifts were there in a blaze of light: the delicate but strong limbs, large sober brown eyes, and his mouth that for all the irony and sarcasm that could come out of it was childlike and ready to be kissed. #Quote by Anne Rice

#26. Turner didn't have to put up with this. He had enough trouble with George's sarcasm. He held his hand. "Keys please."
Her face fell. "Sorry. I sometimes speak without thinking. Well, not sometimes. Often. Never an unspoken thought, my dad used to say. And my mum. And my employers. #Quote by Barbara Elsborg

#27. When Rose takes to screaming, she starts loud, continues loud, and ends loud. Rose has a very good ear and always screams on the same note. I'd tested her before I burnt the library, and our piano along with it.
Rose screams on the note B flat.
We don't need a piano anymore now that we have a human tuning fork. #Quote by Franny Billingsley

#28. Sarcasm is such an unattractive quality in anyone but me. #Quote by Samantha Young

#29. 2-Make eye contact. When someone is speaking, keep your eyes on him or her at all times. If someone makes a comment, turn and face that person.

3-During discussions, respect other students' comments, opinions, and ideas. When possible, make statements like, "I agree with John, and I also feel that…" or "I disagree with Sarah. She made a good point I feel that…" or "I think Victor made an excellent observation, and it made me realize…"

4-If you win or do well at something, do not brag. If you lose, do not show anger. Instead, say something like, "I really enjoyed the competition, and I look forward to playing you again," or "good game," or don't say anything at all. To show anger or sarcasm, such as "I wasn't playing hard anyway" or "You really aren't that good," shows weakness.

5-"When you cough or sneeze or burp, it is appropriate to turn your head away from others and cover your mouth with the full part of your hand. Using a fist is not acceptable. Afterward, you should say, "Excuse me."

6- "Do not smack your lips, tsk, roll your eyes, or show disrespect with gestures."

7-"Always say thank you when I give you something.

8-"Surprise others by performing random acts of kindness. Go our of your way to do something surprisingly kind and generous for someone at least once a month."

9-"You will make every effort to be as organized as possible."

10-"Quickly learn the name of other tea #Quote by Ron Clark

#30. Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference. #Quote by Bryant McGill

#31. Automatic simply means that you can?t repair it yourself. #Quote by Frank Capra

#32. Enjoyed the ride?' Janis asked, sarcasm in her voice. 'I never thought you'd actually be scared of flying.'

'Well, it's not everyday I ride unicorns to parallel worlds,' I muttered. #Quote by Deepika Kumaaraguru

#33. An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bullets and sarcasm. #Quote by Jarod Kintz

#34. Oh! I know what I wanted to tell you – you'll never guess who Thomas is chasing after now…"

Hmmm, never guess or can't be bothered to guess – it was a hard call. I yawned again, glancing at the bed, which was inviting me to clamber back inside and pull the sheet over my head. So tempting, but not practical. #Quote by Melanie Cusick-Jones

#35. I'd like to do more stuff with less sarcasm. #Quote by Sara Gilbert

#36. In my mind, she was Lebkuchen Spice - ironic, Germanic, sexy, and off beat. And, mein Gott, the girl could bake a damn fine cookie ... to the point that I wanted to answer her What do you want for Christmas? with a simple More cookies, please!
But no. She warned me not to be a smart-ass, and while that answer was totally sincere, I was afraid she would think I was joking or,
worse, kissing up.
It was a hard question, especially if I had to batten down the sarcasm. I mean, there was the beauty pageant answer of world peace, although I'd probably have to render it in the beauty pageant spelling of world peas. I could play the boo-hoo orphan card and wish for my whole family to be together, but that was the last thing I wanted, especially at this late date. #Quote by David Levithan

#37. Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? #Quote by Hannah Harrington

#38. And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies.

-Haymitch Abernathy #Quote by Suzanne Collins

#39. It's easy to make women happier and busier. How? Buy her a talking mirror beside bitching it has to be programmed to say, "You are looking very beautiful and slimmer," at precisely every hour. #Quote by Megha Khare

#40. You express so little anxiety about my being murdered under Ashe Park Copse by Mrs. Hulbert's servant, that I have a great mind not to tell you whether I was or not. #Quote by Jane Austen

#41. Only felines were better than humans at sarcasm. #Quote by Gavin G. Smith

#42. We are suffering from too much sarcasm. #Quote by Marianne Moore

#43. Nothing beats camping out in a dreary Jotunheim forest while your friend stitches runes on a giant bowling bag! #Quote by Rick Riordan

#44. No one referred to
Fearghus the Destroyer as the life of anyone's party. #Quote by G.A. Aiken

#45. Innocent?" He was incensed at her suggestion he was somehow responsible for this mess. "I've done nothing wrong, I intend nothing wrong. I am innocent!"
"Half the evil in this world occurs while decent people stand by and do nothing wrong. It's not enough to refrain from evil, Trell. People have to attempt to do right, even if they believe they cannot succeed."
"Even when it's stupid to try?" he asked with savage sarcasm.
"Especially then," she replied sweetly. "That's how it's done, Trell. You break your heart against this stony world. You fling yourself at it, on the side of good, and you do not ask the cost. That's how you do it. #Quote by Robin Hobb

#46. You'll pardon me," he finally said, "if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a heart is suddenly overflowing with generosity toward me leaves me wanting to arm myself and put my back against a wall. #Quote by Scott Lynch

#47. She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn't make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO! #Quote by Gina Damico

#48. I have tried to teach you the wonders of the spiritual world ...
... I have tried to show how we mortals can attain such wisdom ...
... and I've decided you're a pillock.
[click on the thumbnail, art by Andrew Christine] #Quote by Roger Kettle

#49. My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that. #Quote by Tom Bergeron

#50. I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. #Quote by Mark Twain

#51. The best philosophical attitude to adopt towards the world is a union of the sarcasm of gaiety with the indulgence of contempt. #Quote by Nicolas Chamfort

#52. The way you walked away
The way you stopped and waited
All that time
What was in your heart?
A laugh?
A sarcasm?

Couldn't we be lovers?
Though we have never walked together #Quote by Shasika Amali Munasinghe

#53. But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don't be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person's ten good qualities. #Quote by Janaki Sooriyarachchi

#54. You are in good shape for a dead man. #Quote by Mario Stinger

#55. Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early. #Quote by George Will

#56. So what were your favorite subjects in school?"
"School?" He leaned back in his chair as though he needed the extra space to think about it. "Probably math. It always made sense. Unlike English, economics, and girls."
"And exactly how do you plan on taking over the free world if you don't understand economics?"
"I'll hire advisers. I'll hire you, in fact."
"Okay. Let me know when your army of junior high zombies is ready. #Quote by Janette Rallison

#57. No dark sarcasm, in the classroom. #Quote by Roger Waters

#58. his mind's like Alcatraz. once something's in, it never gets out #Quote by Mary Elizabeth Summer

#59. It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor #Quote by John Cleese

#60. Sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit. It isn't even wit at all. #Quote by John Flanagan

#61. - You shouldn't flaunt your cross. I think religion it's a deeply personal thing.
- Do you think boobs and ass are not personal things? People consider ordinary displaying them. #Quote by Bryanna Reid

#62. It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human. #Quote by Jonathan Stroud

#63. Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go. #Quote by David C. Holley

#64. If you can't detect the sarcasm you've misunderstood. #Quote by Lily Allen

#65. Yes, I was standing on nothing but congealed starlight. Yes, I was walking up through a savage storm, the wind threatening to tear me off and throw me into the freezing waters of Lake Michigan far below. Yes, I was using a legendary and enchanted means of travel to transcend the border between one dimension and the next, and on my way to an epic struggle between ancient and elemental forces.
But all i could think to say, between panting breaths, was, Yeah. Sure. They couldn't possibly have made this an escalator. #Quote by Jim Butcher

#66. Oh, you need Alan to betray Nick and then you'll steal Nick's powers and kill them both," said Mae. "Great idea. Hey, can i come? I'll bring a picnic lunch if you promise not to let blood get on the sandwiches. #Quote by Sarah Rees Brennan

#67. Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. #Quote by Kurt Vonnegut

#68. Kindness is unconquerable, so long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy. For what can the most insolent man do to you, if you contrive to be kind to him, and if you have the chance gently advise and calmly show him what is right...and point this out tactfully and from a universal perspective. But you must not do this with sarcasm or reproach, but lovingly and without anger in your soul. #Quote by Marcus Aurelius

#69. Normally ghosts didn't scare him. (Assuming, of course, Gaea hadn't encased them in shells of stone and turned them into killing machines. That had been a new one for him.) #Quote by Rick Riordan

#70. Ok, let me just write that down for you since you seem to think I'm you personal assistant," Sally responded, her tone clipped.
"You ever noticed how assistant starts with ass? Do you think that's a coincidence?" Jen shrugged her shoulders as she raised her eyebrows at Sally. #Quote by Quinn Loftis

#71. If wrappings of cloth can impart respectability, the most respectable persons are the Egyptian mummies, all wrapped in layers and layers of gauze #Quote by Kamala Suraiyya Das

#72. Sir Mark Turner," he said. "I speak with the tongues of a thousand angels. Butterflies follow me wherever I go. Birds sing when I take a breath. #Quote by Courtney Milan

#73. You need a battle plan," Matt advised. "I never left the base without detailed reconnaissance and a battle plan. It's why I came home alive."
Tate chuckled in spite of himself. "She's a woman, not an enemy stronghold."
"That's what you think," Matt said, pointing a spoon in the other man's direction before he lowered it into his cup. "Most women are enemy strongholds," he added, with a wicked glance at his smiling wife. "You have to storm the gates properly."
"He knows all about storming gates, apparently," Leta said with faint sarcasm. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be expecting a grandchild…" She gasped and looked at Matt. "A grandchild. Our grandchild," she emphasized with pure joy.
Matt glanced at Tate. "That puts a whole new face on things, son," he said, the word slipping out so naturally that it didn't even seem to surprise Tate, who smiled through his misery.
"You go to Tennessee and tell Cecily she's marrying you," Leta instructed her son.
"Sure," Tate said heavily. "After all the trouble I've given her in the past weeks, I'm sure she can't wait to rush down the aisle with me."
"Honey catches more flies than vinegar," Matt said helpfully.
"If I go down there with any honey, I'll come home wearing bees."
Leta chuckled.
"You aren't going to give up?" Matt asked.
Tate shook his head. "I can't. I have to get to her before Gabrini does, although I'm fairly sure he has no more idea where she really is than I did until today. #Quote by Diana Palmer

#74. You're supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you're dreaming about. #Quote by Nicki Elson

#75. I find sarcasm before noon sours the stomach. #Quote by Connie Brockway

#76. If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all. #Quote by Joe Hill

#77. Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis. #Quote by Fran Lebowitz

#78. You really are a ray of sunshine, aren't you? #Quote by Sarah Grimm

#79. Come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire. Oberon #Quote by Kevin Hearne

#80. Yeah, it's a kodak moment. Quick, take a picture.
Sarah scoffs. I stick my tongue out at her. #Quote by Annie Brewer

#81. I wish there was some method to transform all the agony in my imprudent heart to an energy source. It would have lit up the world till eternity!!! #Quote by Alcatraz Dey

#82. Acting is like roller skating. Once you know how to do it, it is neither stimulating nor exciting. #Quote by George Sanders

#83. I've given her signs! I've given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face with my glove, and challenge him to pistols at dawn? #Quote by Molly Ringle

#84. Sarcasm is my sacred totem animal. I swear I wouldn't survive without it. #Quote by Anonymous

#85. if the opponent praises you … you will not believe, you will take it as sarcasm. And, if the opponent curses you and criticizes you, you will not only believe it, you will take it as if he had made a declaration over a notarized stamped paper. So granted and guaranteed. #Quote by Girdhar Joshi

#86. Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it. #Quote by Richelle Mead

#87. I have a black belt in sarcasm, and my wit is like lightning. #Quote by N.R. Walker

#88. Stop it, Barry," Joanie said. "Get ahold of yourself. This is just how we work."
I agreed. When she told Shelley I was useless, I heard the smile in her voice and knew she was pretending to be irritated. Really, she wouldn't know what to do without my uselessness, just as I wouldn't know what to do without her complaints. I take it back. It's not that we don't treat each other well; it's just that we're comfortable enough to know that sarcasm and aloofness keep us afloat, and we never have to watch where we step.
"You are both so cold," Barry said that night. #Quote by Kaui Hart Hemmings

#89. Sometimes you get this look in your eyes, like you've just realized I'm edible."
"Well, I like looking at you." He angles his head. "Do you know what else I like? I like your thoughts, your imperfections, your lips, your sarcasm, your explosions of anger, your intelligence, your strength of character. I like it all. #Quote by Elisa Marie Hopkins

#90. Kei: Is there anything else you need while I'm here, Your Highness?
Cabot: No, but you can leave the sarcasm in there. #Quote by Stefne Miller

#91. Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris.
"Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow. #Quote by Rick Riordan

#92. Is this the girl?" Kieran's voice was very different: It sounded like waves sliding up the shore. Like warm water under pale light. It was seductive, with an edge of cold. He looked at Emma as if she were a new kind of flower, one he wasn't sure he liked. "She's pretty," he said. "I didn't think she'd be pretty. You didn't mention it."
Iarlath shrugged. "You've always been partial to blondes," he said.
"Okay, seriously?" Emma snapped her fingers. "I am right here. And I was not aware I was being invited to a game of 'Who's the Hottest?'"
I wasn't aware you were invited at all," said Kieran. His speech had a casual edge, as if he was used to talking to humans.
"Rude," said Emma. #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#93. - Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious! #Quote by Bryanna Reid

#94. Fine, it's decided." Vain resumed his stride. "I'll do all the killing, and you do
all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does. Whatever the hell that is. #Quote by Luke Romyn

#95. My heart swells," she mimicked. She snapped out of her caricature, and said sternly, "Woman don't like to be on the receiving end of sarcasm."
"They only like to give it," he drawled. #Quote by Julia Quinn

#96. Whatever potential Haverston has would depend on tim and inclination," Christopher replied tiredly.
"You've got the time," Walter pointed out. "So it must be lack of inclination."
"Exactly," Christopher said with a pointed look that he hoped would end the discussion, but jus to be sure, he added, "Now,if you two don't mind, I do have work to do here.I'd like to return to London before autumn."
Since that season was a good month away, his sarcasm was duly noted and the two younger gentlemen exchanged aggrieved looks and got back to their gossiping. #Quote by Johanna Lindsey

#97. Mmm, being irresistibly likeable is such a trial,' she drawled in an impeccable aristocratic whine. 'One is constantly in demand, but one must do one's duty, mustn't one, dear chap? Noblesse oblige and all that ... #Quote by Susan Napier

#98. That's sarcasm! You can't talk to me like that! You're just a servant!"
"That's right. And so are you. #Quote by Terry Pratchett

#99. Don't sound so surprised. I have sensible moments, you know. #Quote by Elizabeth Peters

#100. Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?
Jace: I was following you.
Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#101. On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points. #Quote by Virginia Woolf

#102. Well, it just figures, Younger told him, like a man explaining his religion. #Quote by Richard Stark

#103. What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement. #Quote by Fred Allen

#104. Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there. #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#105. I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work. #Quote by Heather Chapple

#106. You are a sick, sick man," I told him.
"Thank you," Ben replied, looking modest. #Quote by Patricia Briggs

#107. Now that he was actually introducing Eleanor to his mom, he couldn't help but see her the way his mom was going to.
His mom was a beautician who sold Avon. She never left the house without touching up her mascara. When Patti Smith was on Saturday Night Live, his mom had gotten upset – "Why she want to look like man? It's so sad."
Eleanor, today, was wearing her sharkskin suit jacket and an old plaid cowboy shirt. She had more in common with his grandpa than his mom.
And it wasn't just the clothes. It was her.
Eleanor wasn't … nice.
She was good. She was honorable. She was honest. She would definitely help an old lady across the street. But nobody – not even the old lady – would ever say, 'Have you met that Eleanor Douglas? What a nice girl.'
Park's mom liked nice. She loved nice. She liked smiling and small talk and eye contact … All things Eleanor sucked at.
Also, his mom didn't get sarcasm. And he was pretty sure it wasn't a language thing. She just didn't get it. She called David Letterman "the ugly, mean one on after Johnny. #Quote by Rainbow Rowell

#108. You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to be rid of you. Why is this?"
"My gun turned back into a pumpkin. #Quote by Nenia Campbell

#109. Oh no. Oh God. I couldn't possibly be so stupid."
"Don't limit yourself. You can be anything you wish. #Quote by Tessa Dare

#110. Don't you have class today? (Kyrian) Boy, I'm a backwoods Cajun, I ain't never got no class, cher. (Nick) (He cleared his throat and dropped the thick Cajun accent.) And no, today's registration. I've got to figure out what I'm taking next semester. (Nick) I have a few things I need you to do today. (Kyrian) And that is different from any other day how? (Nick) Sarcasm, thy name is Nick Gautier. (Kyrian) #Quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon

#111. The sarcasm, it burns! #Quote by Michelle Hodkin

#112. And what are your interests and hobbies, Nicholas?" Annabel asked faintly, sounding like a cross between a television interviewer and a hostage. Nick considered this for a minute, and then said "I like swords." Annabel leaned over her plate and asked, her voice changing "You fence?" "Not exactly," Nick drawled. "I'm more freestyle. #Quote by Sarah Rees Brennan

#113. We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. #Quote by Nenia Campbell

#114. You see why I married her, Mycroft? The exquisite juxtaposition of ladylike threads and backhanded compliments proved irresistible. #Quote by Laurie R. King

#115. The mage pulled my knife out of his side and looked at it. "Nice knife." The voice was deep but female.
I threw my second knife. The blade bit into the mage's chest. Shit. Missed the neck. "Here, have another one. #Quote by Ilona Andrews

#116. Niko was a man of few words and flying, sugary snacks. I like that in a human. ~Catcher #Quote by Rob Thurman

#117. Awww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face. #Quote by James Dashner

#118. There I sat, in that great city, guiltless of crime, yet not daring to worship God in any of the churches. I heard the bells ringing for afternoon service, and, with contemptuous sarcasm, I said, "Will the preachers take for their text, 'Proclaim liberty to the captive, and the opening of prison doors to them that are bound'? or will they preach from the text, 'Do unto others as ye would they should do unto you'? #Quote by Harriet Ann Jacobs

#119. Yeah, and we could fly in on dragons and release a cloud of sugar plum fairies to tiptoe in an get the watch. #Quote by Mora Early

#120. Do you like the race so far?'

I looked at her, trying to find sarcasm, but she was serious; she really wanted to know. And I thought of how to answer her.

I had gotten lost, been run over by a moose, watched a dog get killed, seen a man cry, dragged over a third of the teams off on the wrong trail, and been absolutely hammered by beauty while all this was happening. (It was, I would find later, essentially a normal Iditarod day - perhaps a bit calmer than most.) I opened my mouth.

'I …'

Nothing came. She patted my arm and nodded. 'I understand. It's so early in the race. There'll be more later to talk about …'

And she left me before I could tell her that I thought my whole life had changed, that my basic understanding of values had changed, that I wasn't sure if I would ever recover, that I had seen god and he was a dog-man and that nothing, ever, would be the same for me again, and it was only the first true checkpoint of the race.

I had come just one hundred miles. #Quote by Gary Paulsen

#121. The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. #Quote by Ogden Nash

#122. There are no commitments, only bargains. And they have to be made again every day. You think making a commitment is it. Finish. You think it sets like a concrete platform and it'll take any strain you want to put on it. You're committed. You don't have to prove anything. In fact you can afford a little neglect, indulge in a little bit of sarcasm here and there, isolate yourself when you want to. Underneath it's concrete for life. I'm a cow in some ways, but you're an idiot. #Quote by Tom Stoppard

#123. Who the hell calls at two in the morning?"
"Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says.
"Very funny, #Quote by Lauren Oliver

#124. What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth. #Quote by Roland Barthes

#125. Truly," remarked Nandi as we entered a darkened tunnel, "it is amazing that you have not died yet, mistress." "Well, hang in there. The night is young. #Quote by Richelle Mead

#126. "Your Tim is so unmistakably a healthy extravert type. Mens stulta in corpore sano, and all that."
"Exactly," she agreed. #Quote by John Wyndham

#127. I realize you're planning on fighting all the dragons single-handedly-"
"I'm going to protect you from John, dammit. Show him that he can't fucking mess with you. This is about territory."
Tom narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to piss a circle around me too?"
"If that's what it takes. #Quote by S.E. Jakes

#128. Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm bored with knitting. I've taken up arson #Quote by Audrey Niffenegger

#129. The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie. #Quote by Kelly Creagh

#130. Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce. #Quote by Alicia Thompson

#131. No, no. By all means, lead on. Nothing gets the blood pumping more than hunting down the biggest threat to the realm and deciding we'll just wing it. #Quote by Elizabeth Carlton

#132. ... believing sarcasm and rude remarks kept the monsters at bay. They didn't. #Quote by Louise Penny

#133. What are you doing here?"
All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. "Taxidermy?" he responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm. #Quote by Robyn Carr

#134. How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife. #Quote by Neal Shusterman

#135. Thad: "But this is a boy, and you need to think of your reputation if you're spending time alone with him - "

Ari: "Learning how to put a man's eye out or take him down at the knees. Very romantic stuff, Thad. Very romantic. Oh, and we also hid a body together, so we're practically engaged. #Quote by C.J. Redwine

#136. As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped. #Quote by Rick Riordan

#137. We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous. #Quote by Arthur Conan Doyle

#138. I'd heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn't think it meant the creatures that lived on the street. #Quote by Karl Pilkington

#139. The only clothes Amanda has are the ones on her back. (Kyrian)
From what I saw, she had no clothes whatsoever on her back. Her front neither. (Nick)
One day, Gaitor bait ... (Kyrian)
Note to self- be nice to woman, keep mouth shut. (Nick) #Quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon

#140. This is fantastically squalid," said Milo. "We may never get out of here alive. #Quote by R. J. Anderson

#141. All My Bitches Are Mad At Me Right Now. #Quote by Brad Pitt

#142. Many consider that Shostakovich is the greatest 20th-century composer. In his 15 symphonies, 15 quartets, and in other works he demonstrated mastery of the largest and most challenging forms with music of great emotional power and technical invention ... All his works are marked by emotional extremes - tragic intensity, grotesque and bizarre wit, humour, parody, and savage sarcasm. #Quote by Dmitri Shostakovich

#143. Oh," she said, in a very different way. "Well. Thanks for my part in the compliment. Naturally I'd love to be watched and controlled, but I think I may be washing my hair that day. #Quote by Sarah Rees Brennan

#144. Luke is the sort of boy Taylor Swift could at least three songs out of. #Quote by Beth Garrod

#145. How'd you get through yesterday, though?"
"Running away, you, sarcasm, violence, and last but not least, tequila. #Quote by Kylie Scott

#146. If you turned your back on irony, it curdled into sarcasm. And what good was it then? Sarcasm was irony which had lost its soul. Beneath #Quote by Julian Barnes

#147. Fine." My fingers felt cold and clumsy as I fumbled to untie the straps that held my sword to the side of the pack. Suddenly I felt something harshly cold against my neck. I turned my head in slow motion and looked up the length of a very sharp blade.
"Lovely." Kieran's voice dripped with sarcasm. "I'm sure an enemy would have too much honor to attack you until you're ready. That must be why you're completely unprotected and paying no attention whatsoever." He glared at me for a long punishing moment. Then he eased the sword back and inch. "Lesson one. Stay on guard." Reaching past me, he flicked the tip of his sword and easily sliced the ties on my pack. #Quote by Sharon Hinck

#148. I've interrupted a party. Is it in celebration of the peace or in honor of the next war? #Quote by Winston Graham

#149. Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos. #Quote by Tony Kornheiser

#150. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. #Quote by Abba Eban

#151. The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult. #Quote by Rowan Atkinson

#152. Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning?"
"The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?"
"Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham."
"What age would that be, Toby?"
"Late twenties?"
"Atta boy. #Quote by Aaron Sorkin

#153. A whole castle full of damsels intent upon securing a husband?" Wesley mimicked in surprise. "Why, of course. What reasonable man would not be thrilled with such a prospect?"

-Wesley #Quote by Katharine Ashe

#154. Do ... you ... have ... a ... hard ... time ... finding ... Steve's dick?" she enunciated, enjoying Mary's extreme discomfort. "He's big as a fuckin' house so I imagine it might be a bit of a problem." The New Jersey accent that was still there after more than fifteen years in the south, resurfaced in her aggravation. #Quote by A.T. Hicks

#155. Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me. #Quote by Tahereh Mafi

#156. Not even a hand-stitched suit could hide a body gone ruinously to seed. I was tempted to offer some fashion advice, but I didn't think he'd welcome the news that this year, bellies are being worn inside the trousers #Quote by Val McDermid

#157. A woman's weapon is her tongue. #Quote by Anthony Trollope

#158. You are perfectly right in objecting to them [modern art], for this one great fault - that they have not yet had time to become old. #Quote by Alexandre Dumas

#159. Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women.
It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it. #Quote by Oscar Wilde

#160. An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued. #Quote by Irvin S. Cobb

#161. Hermy, when she was not otter-hunting, could be very sarcastic, and he had a clear month of Hermy in front of him, without any otter-hunting, which, so she had informed him, was not possible in August. This was mysterious to Georgie, because it did not seem likely that all otters died in August, and a fresh brood came in like caterpillars. If Hermy was here in October she would otter-hunt all morning and snore all afternoon, and be in the best of tempers, but the August visit required more careful steering. #Quote by E.F. Benson

#162. There are some however more condescending, and gracious enough to confess, that many Women have wit and conduct; but yet they are of opinion, that even such of us as are most remarkable for either or both, still betray something which speaks the imbecility of our sex. Stale, thread-bare notions, which long since sunk'd with their own weight; and the extreme weakness of which seem'd to condemn to perpetual oblivion; till an ingenious writer, for want of something better to employ his pen about, was pleased lately to revive them in one of the weekly * papers, lest this age should be ignorant what fools there have been among his sex in former ones.

To give us a sample then of the wisdom of his sex, he tells us, that it was always the opinion of the wisest among them, that Women are never to be indulged the sweets of liberty; but ought to pass their whole lives in a state of subordination to the Men, and in an absolute dependance upon them. And the reason assigned for so extravagant an assertion, is our not having a sufficient capacity to govern ourselves. It must be observed, that so bold a tenet ought to have better proofs to support it, than the bare word of the persons who advance it; as their being parties so immediately concern'd, must render all they say of this kind highly suspect. #Quote by Sophia Fermor

#163. He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was enraptured.
It was a rare and sweet look for him, reminding me of the tortured artist that lived beneath the sarcasm. I liked that about Adrian - not the tortured part, but the way he could feel so deeply and then transform those emotions into art. #Quote by Richelle Mead

#164. While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels. #Quote by Ljupka Cvetanova

#165. Life's a party. So smile and eat shit and pretend it's fucking caviar. #Quote by Nenia Campbell

#166. It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes. #Quote by Oscar Wilde

#167. I do not understand exactly what you mean by fear," said Tarzan. "Like lions, fear is a different thing in different men, but to me the only pleasure in the hunt is the knowledge that the hunted thing has power to harm me as much as I have to harm him. If I went out with a couple of rifles and a gun bearer, and twenty or thirty beaters, to hunt a lion, I should not feel that the lion had much chance, and so the pleasure of the hunt would be lessened in proportion to the increased safety which I felt."
"Then I am to take it that Monsieur Tarzan would prefer to go naked into the jungle, armed only with a jackknife, to kill the king of beasts," laughed the other good naturedly, but with the merest touch of sarcasm in his tone.
"And a piece of rope," added Tarzan. #Quote by Edgar Rice Burroughs

#168. Of course she'd told him she would, but if the man hadn't registered her sarcasm, then he wasn't making full use of his ears. #Quote by Mary Connealy

#169. It felt like I'd only just fallen asleep when someone shook me awake. I pushed the person off, snuggling deeper in my covers.
It wasn't until I had buried my face in my pillow that I realized I should probably be alarmed that someone was in my room. What with evil trolls trying to kidnap me and all that. #Quote by Amanda Hocking

#170. That's because we keep weapons int the attic, silly boy. Do you think this is the first time monsters have attacked our family?"
"Weapons," Frank grumbled. "Right. I've never handled weapons before."
Grandmother's nostrils flared. "Was that sarcasm, Fai Zhang?"
"Yes, Grandmother."
"Good. There may be hope for you yet. #Quote by Rick Riordan

#171. Wilbury, my dear," Caroline said, "would you mind taking the children and keeping them occupied for a bit?"
"Twould be the high point of my golden years, my lady," he replied with frigid politeness. "The culmination of a lifelong dream I had nearly abandoned in favour of waiting peacefully for the Grim Reaper to come and relieve me of my earthly duties."
Immune to his sarcasm, Caroline beamed fondly at him. "Thank you, Wilbury. I thought that's what you would say."
Shuffling toward the hearth, the butler muttered under his breath, "I just love children, you know. I simply dote upon the overindulged little darlings with their grasping little hands and their sticky little fingers that foul up every freshly polished surface in the house". As he leaned toward the hearth, the twins paused in play to gape at him. Baring his pointed yellowing teeth in a grimace of a smile, he rasped, "Come now, lads. I'll take you to the kitchen for some nice hot chocolate."
Eyes widening in terror, the two boys leapt to their feet and ran shrieking from the room. Wilbury straightened as much as his hunched back would allow, rolling his eyes.
"Wilbuwy!" Eloisa crowed, scrambling from her mother's lap and toddling across the room. Wrapping her arms around one of the butler's scrawny legs, she looked up and batted her long eyelashes at him. "Me want cocoa!"
With a long-suffering sigh, he scooped the plump child into his arms, every one of his ancient bones creaking in pr #Quote by Teresa Medeiros

#172. Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'. #Quote by David C. Holley

#173. Gankis lifted an arm to point at the distant shale cliffs. "And in the face of it there were thousands of little holes, little what-you-call-'ems ... "
"Alcoves," Kennit supplied in an almost dreamy voice. "I call them alcoves, Gankis. As would you, if you could speak your own mother tongue. #Quote by Robin Hobb

#174. Brightness ... I believe you stray into sarcasm."
"Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs. #Quote by Brandon Sanderson

#175. A lot of people try to use sarcasm to flirt, and it tends not to read well. Most people who are successful at flirting do so via instant message instead of email. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. Ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen interest in the conversation. Be enthusiastic. #Quote by Amy Webb

#176. I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#177. Princess. This is surprising. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need your help."

He chuckles. "Oh how the mighty have fallen. I love it. How can I be of service?"

I've never met another man who could so artfully convey in his tone the opposite of what his words mean. Sarcasm, thy name is Willard #Quote by Emma Chase

#178. Sarcasm is not the rapier of wit its wielders seem to believe it to be, but merely a club: it may, by dint of brute force, occasionally raise bruises, but it never cuts or pierces. #Quote by Rex Stout

#179. But nowhere in the file had anyone said, "Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction." At least not in the parts I'd skimmed. #Quote by Lish McBride

#180. Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying. #Quote by J.K. Rowling

#181. No, way. There is a tree? In a forest? #Quote by Tui T. Sutherland

#182. The only thing that's fair about me is the colour of my hair. People should remember that. #Quote by James McClure

#183. It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'. #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#184. What's going on?" I asked when he finished.
"I'll let you know soon. For now, we have to wait."
"Great. My favorite thing to do. #Quote by Richelle Mead

#185. Having your own church doesn't make you a good guy. It only makes you tax-exempt. #Quote by Lisa Kleypas

#186. Stay with me; I want to be alone #Quote by Joey Lauren Adams

#187. My natural tendency toward sarcasm is still not appreciated. #Quote by Veronica Roth

#188. Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly. #Quote by David C. Holley

#189. I couldn't very well make a special delivery to the door of the constabulary now could I? And he'd have made the perfect scapegoat. That aura of misery he wraps himself in. So Byronesque. He's too immersed in his own guilt to ever suspect it in another. #Quote by Ella J. Fraser

#190. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.
China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me. #Quote by Derek Landy

#191. Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. #Quote by George Bernard Shaw

#192. Since you stand in the same bridge with him why don't you two just jump off. #Quote by Sitta Karina

#193. They carry on living in their little house in the middle of town out of sheer politeness. #Quote by Fredrik Backman

#194. I couldn't hack it in Hollywood, my writing's wasn't bad enough. #Quote by Russ Lippitt

#195. Innocent tourists? You make me sound like the big bad wolf."
"And you're not?" I questioned.
"Only if you're Red Riding Hood," he said flirtatiously.
"Wow, that's original. #Quote by Alyssa Rose Ivy

#196. Bryn," he said. "Do you know how much I love you?"
I smiled and answered with a hint of sarcasm in my tone, "Well, I'm not quite sure."
"No, I'm serious," Tyler said, turning over onto his side so that he was facing me. His eyes were serious, something that I only saw when he really had something to say.
"Yeah, I do. It's the kind that hurts so good, right? Almost like you can't breathe without the other person and the only thing that keeps you sane throughout the day is knowing that you'll see that person soon enough. Nothing can come between you and that person. You would do anything for them. Be anyone they need you to be. Without thinking twice, you know you will be there, no matter what. That's what loving you is to me. #Quote by Alexandria Rhodes

#197. It must be wonderful to be you, Dominic, and know that you alone have shaped yourself. It must be even more wonderful for other people, your mother and even God Himself for all I know, to know that. It absolves them of a terrible responsibility. #Quote by Jayne Bauling

#198. I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. #Quote by Jane Austen

#199. Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane."
"They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down."
"Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed."
Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down. #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#200. My condolences, you're still alive. #Quote by Fakeer Ishavardas