Santa Claus Quotes

Top 100 famous quotes & sayings about Santa Claus.

Famous Quotes About Santa Claus

Here are best 100 famous quotes about Santa Claus that you can use to show your feeling, share with your friends and post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and blogs. Enjoy your day & share your thoughts with perfect pictures of Santa Claus quotes.

Santa Claus quotes by Bill Hader
#1. My wife and I got to go onstage at a Flaming Lips concert at Webster Hall once. We dressed up like Scientology aliens and danced around. We had a shootout onstage with Santa Claus. #Quote by Bill Hader
Santa Claus quotes by Revilo P. Oliver
#2. Now I admit that the notion of a warless world is a pleasant and attractive thought. But people who believe that there can be such a thing should ask it of Santa Claus, in whom they doubtless also believe. #Quote by Revilo P. Oliver
Santa Claus quotes by William Feather
#3. A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty. #Quote by William Feather
Santa Claus quotes by Murray N. Rothbard
#4. It is curious that people tend to regard government as a quasi-divine, selfless, Santa Claus organization. Government was constructed neither for ability nor for the exercise of loving care; government was built for the use of force and for necessarily demagogic appeals for votes. If individuals do not know their own interests in many cases, they are free to turn to private experts for guidance. It is absurd to say that they will be served better by a coercive, demagogic apparatus. #Quote by Murray N. Rothbard
Santa Claus quotes by Soraya Diase Coffelt
#5. [It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus,] is a fun read and a twist on Christmas, because it does involve Santa Claus and Jesus, and it doesn't say that Santa Claus is bad, but it's the child explaining to Santa Claus the true reason for the season is Jesus. #Quote by Soraya Diase Coffelt
Santa Claus quotes by Brittany Cavallaro
#6. My mum was cross with Milo for teasing me. He kept telling me Santa Claus was real. #Quote by Brittany Cavallaro
Santa Claus quotes by Henri J.M. Nouwen
#7. Often hell is portrayed as a place of punishment and heaven as a place of reward. But this concept easily leads us to think about God as either a policeman, who tries to catch us when we make a mistake and send us to prison when our mistakes become too big, or a Santa Claus, who counts up all our good deeds and puts rewards in our stockings at the end of the year. God, however, is neither a policeman nor a Santa Claus. God does not send us to heaven or hell depending on how often we obey or disobey. God is love and only love. In God there is no hatred, desire for revenge, or pleasure in seeing us punished. God wants to forgive, heal, restore, show us endless mercy, and see us come home. But just as the father of the prodigal son let his son make his own decision, God gives us the freedom to refuse God's love, even at the risk of destroying ourselves. Hell is not God's choice. It is ours. #Quote by Henri J.M. Nouwen
Santa Claus quotes by Melody Carlson
#8. You know the real reason we celebrate Christmas, don't you? I mean, beyond Santa Claus and jungle bells and Christmas trees?
You mean because Jesus was born? she asked.
Yes ... but did you ever think how Jesus was born? I mean, have you considered how it was such a humble birth, in a small barn ... how he was laid in a hay trough ... how the Son if almighty God humbled himself to be born in such lowly conditions? Have you thought about it like that? Jesus could have been born in a fine palace. After all, he was the Son of God. But for some reason God chose humble beginnings for His son. Do you ever wonder why? ... I think because God wanted to show that his love could reach to everyone, no matter who they were, from the poorest of poor to great kings. #Quote by Melody Carlson
Santa Claus quotes by Gilbert K. Chesterton
#9. This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy mythology. Personally, of course, I believe in Santa Claus; but it is the season of forgiveness, and I will forgive others for not doing so. #Quote by Gilbert K. Chesterton
Santa Claus quotes by Vera Nazarian
#10. Once upon a time, the Reindeer took a running leap and jumped over the Northern Lights.
But he jumped too low, and the long fur of his beautiful flowing tail got singed by the rainbow fires of the aurora.
To this day the reindeer has no tail to speak of. But he is too busy pulling the Important Sleigh to notice what is lost. And he certainly doesn't complain.
What's your excuse? #Quote by Vera Nazarian
Santa Claus quotes by Chuck Palahniuk
#11. Santa Claus is just a story," says Seth. "He's just the opening band to God. There is no Santa Claus. #Quote by Chuck Palahniuk
Santa Claus quotes by William P. Young
#12. I'm trying to get far away from [picturing God as] Gandalf or Santa Claus. #Quote by William P. Young
Santa Claus quotes by Karen Joy Fowler
#13. But the most fantastical of my imaginary worlds turned out to be the one I'd thought was real. As a child, I believed the world was run by competent, sane and benevolent adults. I believed this for much longer than I believed in Santa Claus.
That belief has since gone down like the Titanic (on which I also spent a lot of time as a child). The world is run by nitwits and psychopaths. #Quote by Karen Joy Fowler
Santa Claus quotes by Peter Thiel
#14. A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed. Education may be the only thing people still believe in in the United States. To question education is really dangerous. It is the absolute taboo. It's like telling the world there's no Santa Claus. #Quote by Peter Thiel
Santa Claus quotes by Jimmy Fallon
#15. I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year. #Quote by Jimmy Fallon
Santa Claus quotes by Chris Pine
#16. For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you'd stay up until three in the morning. You'd hear the parents wrapping in the other room but you knew that also, maybe, they were in collusion with Santa Claus. #Quote by Chris Pine
Santa Claus quotes by James McAvoy
#17. At the heart of every really good Christmas movie is the threat, I suppose, to Christmas. Something is wrong with Christmas, in all of these movies. In 'The Polar Express,' there's a kid that doesn't really believe, and that's the threat to Christmas. In 'Santa Claus: The Movie,' jealousy and greed are threatening to overrun his Christmas. #Quote by James McAvoy
Santa Claus quotes by Lemony Snicket
#18. The real Santa Claus is at the mall. #Quote by Lemony Snicket
Santa Claus quotes by Shyheim
#19. A born terror, a rebel without a pause ...
Ain't never had a good Christmas, so who is Santa Claus? #Quote by Shyheim
Santa Claus quotes by Leslie Le Mon
#20. By holiday time, Buena Vista Street felt like Bedford Falls, with its vintage lights and decorations, and a classic Santa Claus listening to children's holiday wishes at Elias & Co. Cocoa clutching---Guests in scarves and parkas filled the streets and shops. #Quote by Leslie Le Mon
Santa Claus quotes by Tom Perrotta
#21. Unburdening, she'd told Laurie about a vision she'd had when she was four or five years old. Unable to sleep on Christmas Eve, she'd tiptoed downstairs and seen a fat bearded man standing in front of her family's tree, checking items off a list. He wasn't wearing a red suit - it was more like a blue bus driver's uniform - but she still recognized him as Santa Claus. She watched him for a while, then snuck back upstairs, her body filled with an ecstatic sense of wonder and confirmation. As a teenager, she convinced herself that the whole thing had been a dream, but it had seemed real at the time, so real that she reported it to her family the next morning as a simple fact. They still jokingly referred to it that way, as though it were a documented historical event - the Night Meg Saw Santa. #Quote by Tom Perrotta
Santa Claus quotes by Thomas Sowell
#22. Someone once said that taxes are the price we pay for civilization. That may have been true when he said it, but today taxes are mostly the price we pay so that politicians can play Santa Claus and get reelected. #Quote by Thomas Sowell
Santa Claus quotes by Tamara Ireland Stone
#23. I'm going to show you something that will change your whole life. #Quote by Tamara Ireland Stone
Santa Claus quotes by Mindee Arnett
#24. So Santa Claus is bogus but Grim Reapers are the genuine article. What does that say about the world? #Quote by Mindee Arnett
Santa Claus quotes by Kaz Cooke
#25. Sit peacefully in a church and think of church history: witchburning perhaps, or child abuse, genocide, the amassing of disgusting wealth, the repression of women, inquisitions, castrating child choir singers, the denial of Santa Claus and the support of fascists in power. #Quote by Kaz Cooke
Santa Claus quotes by Linus Torvalds
#26. OK, I admit it. I was just a front-man for the real fathers of Linux, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. #Quote by Linus Torvalds
Santa Claus quotes by Richard P. Feynman
#27. When I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real, I wasn't upset; rather, I was relieved that there was a much simpler phenomenon to explain how so many children all over the world got presents on the same night! The story had been getting pretty complicated
it was getting out of hand. #Quote by Richard P. Feynman
Santa Claus quotes by Pierre Desproges
#28. Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote. #Quote by Pierre Desproges
Santa Claus quotes by Nicki Minaj
#29. I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer. #Quote by Nicki Minaj
Santa Claus quotes by Eliza Crewe
#30. And, like Christmas, Armand has brought gifts. But he is no fat, sweet Santa Claus who rewards the nice; he is the Lord of Misrule, the Abbot of Unreason in charge of scandalous fun. #Quote by Eliza Crewe
Santa Claus quotes by Alfonso Soriano
#31. When I was a kid, I believed in Santa Claus. But it was very tough because in the Dominican ... there are not a lot of rich people there. #Quote by Alfonso Soriano
Santa Claus quotes by Maggie Young
#32. But the real show was offstage. Dozens of men lounged along the tables that circled the main attraction. They ranged from eighteen to eighty, skinny to fat, stout to lanky. I saw home in them. I saw fathers, grandfathers, brothers, boyfriends, professors, bosses, and preachers. I imagined their houses, their families, their jobs, the coffee shops where they bought breakfast pastries, the hospitals their children were born in, and their neighborhood route for their dog's morning walk. I saw the gleam in their eyes as the girls swiveled around poles, sashayed in their direction, and sat atop their laps like children visiting Santa Claus. They seemed to love their oriental dolls with a toddler's English fluency. They had their happy endings. They would soon be boarding planes, flying far away from the poverty, the mental and emotional collateral damage, and the possible babies they conceived. Thailand was theirs. It was their escape, their medicine, and their sanctuary of sin. #Quote by Maggie Young
Santa Claus quotes by Rod McKuen
#33. Who is not a love seeker when December comes? Even children pray to Santa Claus. #Quote by Rod McKuen
Santa Claus quotes by Ron Hansen
#34. Tim collected his gifts within the metal hoop and then pestered Santa for more, investigating pockets, sticking his hands into straw, lifting the sides of the red coat until he contacted a Smith and
Wesson revolver. The boy snatched his hand back as if it were burnt and scowled at the man in the red suit. "You're not Santa Claus; you're Daddy."

Charley called across the room, "He's one of Santa's helpers!"

Jesse sat low in the chair with his boots kicked out, drew off the soft red cap by its cotton ball, then reached out and snuggled Tim close to his chest. He said, "Let me tell you a secret, son: there's always a mean old wolf in Grandma's bed, and a worm inside the apple. There's always a daddy inside the Santa suit. It's a world of trickery. #Quote by Ron Hansen
Santa Claus quotes by Andrew Smith
#35. Santa Claus is a lie but if you think that's bad, check out what 'fuck' really means. #Quote by Andrew Smith
Santa Claus quotes by Jakub Marian
#36. Ho ho ho, tell me why you are not at home' is something Santa Claus could ask you if you stayed in a hotel over Christmas. It is most certainly not the reason why it is called 'hotel', but it will hopefully help you remember that the stress is actually on the second syllable. #Quote by Jakub Marian
Santa Claus quotes by A.J. Butcher
#37. I hear Keene's going to be turning up as Santa Claus later, and that's got to be worth seeing." Jake parodied the corporal's voice: "So, little boy, give me your name, rank, number, and what present you want delivered by 0600 Christmas morning. And that's Santa sir to you. #Quote by A.J. Butcher
Santa Claus quotes by Bill Watterson
#38. CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God. #Quote by Bill Watterson
Santa Claus quotes by Jim Lovell
#39. Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus. #Quote by Jim Lovell
Santa Claus quotes by Ludwig Von Mises
#40. The government and its chiefs do not have the powers of the mythical Santa Claus. They cannot spend except by taking out of the pockets of some people for the benefit of others. #Quote by Ludwig Von Mises
Santa Claus quotes by James Frecheville
#41. I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementary's school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5. #Quote by James Frecheville
Santa Claus quotes by Kathryn Perez
#42. Holy Santa Claus shit, Nic! #Quote by Kathryn Perez
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#43. It's about Nietzsche's theory of universal debt. Your parents make it possible for you to believe a far better myth than Santa. They let you think that you, as a kid, don't owe the world a thing. The world can give you, even if just for a few minutes, utter joy without requiring anything from you. It's not about consumerism. As far as you know, no one buys you these presents. They come out of nothingness, with fantasies of elves attached. You aren't required to be grateful to your parents or anything like that. They can give to you and nothing is required in return. When you get old enough, when you have kids, you get to enact this myth for them. It has nothing to do with any fat man in a red suit, no matter what we tell ourselves. It's about owing nothing, and then realizing that you have to do this job of perpetuating this ... this fantasy world, whether you like it or not. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Claire Cook
#44. It's easy to look like Santa Claus when you don't have to buy the groceries. #Quote by Claire Cook
Santa Claus quotes by Tracy McMillan
#45. You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way. #Quote by Tracy McMillan
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#46. The problem is not that Santa stops existing but that we do. The children we are no longer exist, a fact we do not help through immersing ourselves in the repeating cycle of wake, work, dinner, internet, sleep. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Alden Perkes
#47. For months I yearned to see Santa again, mooning for him like a lost love. Then, on Christmas Eve, I was awakened by someone shaking me in my bed. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" a voice said out of the darkness. I felt the giggles rising up in my throat.
But that's another story... #Quote by Alden Perkes
Santa Claus quotes by Charles M. Schulz
#48. All right, so you believe in Santa Claus, and I'll believe in the 'Great Pumpkin.' The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe just so you're sincere! (Linus) #Quote by Charles M. Schulz
Santa Claus quotes by Hidekaz Himaruya
#49. Of course, my Christmas is (so much more) gorgeous and romantic (than Germany's)!! And unlike the rest of the world, we leave wine behind for Santa Claus!"
"So Santa-san is delivering gifts to children while driving under the influence ... ? #Quote by Hidekaz Himaruya
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#50. Isn't Santa just a stand in for the society that has locked them up for formative years? Something that watches and judges, telling them that they got what they deserved based on their behavior? Surely they have to have noticed that Saint Nick, like the judicial system itself, tends to look more favorably upon rich children. He is fat, white, past middle age, and holds all the cards. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Craig Ferguson
#51. You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass. #Quote by Craig Ferguson
Santa Claus quotes by Bill Maher
#52. What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade! #Quote by Bill Maher
Santa Claus quotes by Max Barry
#53. Look, I understand that for a lot of people, the US is superior to their country of residence in myriad ways, but I'm Australian. We have it all: the weather, the beautiful cities, the brand of football that involves neither padding yourself up like Santa Claus nor standing in a line in front of goal and covering your testicles. #Quote by Max Barry
Santa Claus quotes by Marshall Thornton
#54. Does God ever give people exactly what they want?"
"You're thinking of Santa Claus. God gives us what we need. #Quote by Marshall Thornton
Santa Claus quotes by Penny Reid
#55. Bullshit was the adult version of Santa Claus. For reasons I'll never comprehend, the general population seemed to enjoy wallowing, spouting, and believing in bullshit. #Quote by Penny Reid
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#56. Christmas was gluing cotton balls to Santa's beard in Coke ads, sneaking candy canes off the tree daily (that my parents replaced every few nights), enough gift-wrap to wallpaper a room, the terror and delight of knowing a magical being would enter my home while I slept. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Lee Strobel
#57. Back at my motel, I mentally played back my interview with Boyd. I felt the same way he did: If the Jesus of faith is not also the Jesus of history, he's powerless and he's meaningless. Unless he's rooted in reality, unless he established his divinity by rising from the dead, he's just a feel-good symbol who's as irrelevant as Santa Claus. #Quote by Lee Strobel
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#58. The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Eleanor Estes
#59. In Boston one day, she had an unusual experience. While Papa and Auntie Hoyt waited out of sight somewhere, she had to go by herself into a large room in a department store and listen to someone dressed like Santa Claus read a Christmas story and "Twas the Night Before Christmas. This seemed odd to her for at Thanksgiving time, she was not ready for Santa Claus. In Cranbury they got through the turkeys and the pumpkins and the Pilgrims before they brought out the Santa Clauses. She was quite relieved when the whole occasion was over. #Quote by Eleanor Estes
Santa Claus quotes by Gene Autry
#60. Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane! #Quote by Gene Autry
Santa Claus quotes by Soraya Diase Coffelt
#61. I discovered that the real meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with you at all. It is about a very special gift. I want to you tell you about this gift. #Quote by Soraya Diase Coffelt
Santa Claus quotes by James Friend
#62. He would be billed, in short, as being something like Jesus Christ, Albert Einstein, Alexander the Great, and Santa Claus all rolled into one. Not #Quote by James Friend
Santa Claus quotes by James Gould Cozzens
#63. A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset. Yes, there'll be more war ; and soon, I don't doubt. There always has been. There'll be deaths and disappointments and failures. When they come, you meet them. #Quote by James Gould Cozzens
Santa Claus quotes by Bill Maher
#64. You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists, and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy. Now, 20% is hardly a majority. But it's a bigger minority than blacks, jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers, or seniors ... and it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that we're not the crazy ones! #Quote by Bill Maher
Santa Claus quotes by Chuck Palahniuk
#65. Nikhilananda's birthday. Maybe we'd Morris dance, naked, around the base of an old-growth California redwood, its branches lavishly festooned with the soiled hammocks and poop buckets of crunchy-granola tree sitters mentoring spotted owls in passive-resistance protest techniques. You get the picture. In place of Santa Claus, my mom and dad said Maya Angelou kept tabs on whether little children were naughty or nice. Dr. Angelou, they warned me, did her accounting on a long hemp scroll of names, and if I failed to turn my compost I'd be sent to bed with no algae. Me, I just wanted to know that someone wise and carbon neutral - Dr. Maya or Shirley Chisholm or Sean Penn - was paying attention. But none of that was really Christmas. And none of that Earth First! baloney helps out once you're dead and you discover that the snake-handling, #Quote by Chuck Palahniuk
Santa Claus quotes by H.L. Mencken
#66. Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. #Quote by H.L. Mencken
Santa Claus quotes by Jimmy Cannon
#67. He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache ... Babe Ruth made the music that his joyous years danced to in a continuous party ... What Babe Ruth is comes down, one generation handing it down to the next, as a nation heirloom. #Quote by Jimmy Cannon
Santa Claus quotes by Stephanie Perkins
#68. The pressure is on. They've teased me all week, because I've avoided anything that requires ordering. I've made excuses (I'm allergic to beef," "Nothing tastes better than bread," Ravioli is overrated"), but I can't avoid it forever.Monsieur Boutin is working the counter again. I grab a tray and take a deep breath.
"Bonjour, uh...soup? Sopa? S'il vous plait?"
"Hello" and "please." I've learned the polite words first, in hopes that the French will forgive me for butchering the remainder of their beautiful language. I point to the vat of orangey-red soup. Butternut squash, I think. The smell is extraordinary, like sage and autumn. It's early September, and the weather is still warm. When does fall come to Paris?
"Ah! soupe.I mean,oui. Oui!" My cheeks burn. "And,um, the uh-chicken-salad-green-bean thingy?"
Monsieur Boutin laughs. It's a jolly, bowl-full-of-jelly, Santa Claus laugh. "Chicken and haricots verts, oui. You know,you may speek Ingleesh to me. I understand eet vairy well."
My blush deepends. Of course he'd speak English in an American school. And I've been living on stupid pears and baquettes for five days. He hands me a bowl of soup and a small plate of chicken salad, and my stomach rumbles at the sight of hot food.
"Merci," I say.
"De rien.You're welcome. And I 'ope you don't skeep meals to avoid me anymore!" He places his hand on his chest, as if brokenhearted. I smile and shake my head no. I can do this. I can do this. I can-
#Quote by Stephanie Perkins
Santa Claus quotes by Charles Manson
#69. There's been fifty-million people that died since Sharon Tate died and I got everybody in Santa Claus land chasing me, trying to make me feel remorse for one psychotic episode of (Tex) Watson. #Quote by Charles Manson
Santa Claus quotes by Ralph Ellison
#70. My emotions locked, as I saw her lipstick lying on the table and grabbed it, saying, "Yes, yes," as I bent to write furiously across her belly in drunken inspiration:
and paused there; trembling above her, my knees on the bed as she waited with unsteady expectancy. It was purplish metallic shade of lipstick, and as she panted with anticipation the letters stretched and quivered, up hill and down dale, and she was lit up like a luminescent sign. #Quote by Ralph Ellison
Santa Claus quotes by Roy Blount, Jr.
#71. Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th. #Quote by Roy Blount, Jr.
Santa Claus quotes by Andrew Barrett
#72. It's called the Santa Claus effect; the holiday period is traditionally a strong cycle. #Quote by Andrew Barrett
Santa Claus quotes by Marilyn Manson
#73. But through years of myth-making and fear-sowing, Christianity meta-morphosed antichrists into a single Antichrist, an apocalyptic villain and Christian bogeyman used to scare people as much as Santa Claus is used to regulate children's behavior. After years of studying the concept, I began to realize the Antichrist is a character--a metaphor--who exists in nearly all religions under different names, and maybe there is some truth in it, a need for such a person. But from another perspective, this person could be seen as not a villain but a final hero to save people from their own ignorance. The apocalypse doesn't have to be fire and a brimstone. It could happen on a personal level. #Quote by Marilyn Manson
Santa Claus quotes by David Levithan
#74. there's no such thing as a fuck cure. a fuck cure is like the adult version of santa claus #Quote by David Levithan
Santa Claus quotes by Jonathan Tropper
#75. The gravedigger looks like Santa Claus, and I don't believe for a minute he doesn't know it. With his long white beard and stout build, he has to know the effect of wearing a red and white anorak and how inappropriate the whole getup looks in the Mount Zion Cemetery. #Quote by Jonathan Tropper
Santa Claus quotes by Brom
#76. Santa Claus ran his finger across the rough parchment, lightly tracing the inscription below. "Charity unto others brings its own reward," he whispered. #Quote by Brom
Santa Claus quotes by Wayne Coyne
#77. If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him. #Quote by Wayne Coyne
Santa Claus quotes by Bil Keane
#78. God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time. #Quote by Bil Keane
Santa Claus quotes by Jack Spicer
#79. Psychoanalysis: An Elegy"

What are you thinking about?

I am thinking of an early summer.
I am thinking of wet hills in the rain
Pouring water. Shedding it
Down empty acres of oak and manzanita
Down to the old green brush tangled in the sun,
Greasewood, sage, and spring mustard.
Or the hot wind coming down from Santa Ana
Driving the hills crazy,
A fast wind with a bit of dust in it
Bruising everything and making the seed sweet.
Or down in the city where the peach trees
Are awkward as young horses,
And there are kites caught on the wires
Up above the street lamps,
And the storm drains are all choked with dead branches.

What are you thinking?

I think that I would like to write a poem that is slow as a summer
As slow getting started
As 4th of July somewhere around the middle of the second stanza
After a lot of unusual rain
California seems long in the summer.
I would like to write a poem as long as California
And as slow as a summer.
Do you get me, Doctor? It would have to be as slow
As the very tip of summer.
As slow as the summer seems
On a hot day drinking beer outside Riverside
Or standing in the middle of a white-hot road
Between Bakersfield and Hell
Waiting for Santa Claus.

What are you thinking now?

I'm thinking that she is very much like California.
When she is still he #Quote by Jack Spicer
Santa Claus quotes by Ian McDonald
#80. This is always always always what she wished a bazaar to be. Demre, proudly claiming to be the birthplace of Santa Claus, was direly lacking in workshops of wonder. Small corner stores, an understocked chain supermarket on the permanent edge of bankruptcy and a huge cash and carry that serviced the farms and the hotels squeezed between the plastic sky and the shingle shore. Russians flew there by the charter load to sun themselves and get wrecked on drink. Drip irrigation equipment and imported vodka, a typical Demre combination. But Istanbul; Istanbul was the magic. Away from home, free from the humid claustrophobia of the greenhouses, hectare after hectare after hectare; a speck of dust in the biggest city in Europe, anonymous yet freed by that anonymity to be foolish, to be frivolous and fabulous, to live fantasies. The Grand Bazaar! This was a name of wonder. This was hectare upon hectare of Cathay silk and Tashkent carpets, bolts of damask and muslin, brass and silver and gold and rare spices that would send the air heady. It was merchants and traders and caravan masters; the cornucopia where the Silk Road finally set down its cargoes. The Grand Bazaar of Istanbul was shit and sharks. Overpriced stuff for tourists, shoddy and glittery. Buy buy buy. The Egyptian Market was no different. In that season she went to every old bazaar in Sultanahmet and Beyoğlu. The magic wasn't there. #Quote by Ian McDonald
Santa Claus quotes by Kent Nerburn
#81. When you give of yourself something new comes in to being ... the world expands, a bit of goodness is brought forth and a small miracle occurs. You must never underestimate this miracle. Too many good people think they have to become Mother Teresa or Albert Schweitzer, or even Santa Claus, and perform great acts if they are to be givers. They don't see the simple openings of the heart that can be practiced anywhere with almost anyone. #Quote by Kent Nerburn
Santa Claus quotes by Dolly Parton
#82. No matter what, I always make it home for Christmas. I love to go to my Tennessee Mountain Home and invite all of my nieces and nephews and their spouses and kids and do what we all like to do - eat, laugh, trade presents and just enjoy each other ... and sometimes I even dress up like Santa Claus! #Quote by Dolly Parton
Santa Claus quotes by Oliver B. Greene
#83. "The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently and as sternly as did Paul, John, Peter R.A. Torrey and others. This modern "santa claus" religion that is sweeping country today is not the religion Jesus taught and John practiced." #Quote by Oliver B. Greene
Santa Claus quotes by Eric Berne
#84. Human life [is] ... a process of filling in time until the arrival of death, or Santa Claus, with very little choice, if any, of what kind of business one is going to transact during the long wait. #Quote by Eric Berne
Santa Claus quotes by Heather Brewer
#85. Vlad had found himself longing to encounter those of his own kind, to travel to the streets of Elysia-that far away world, but after a while it seemed more of a fairy tale than anything else.
Like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, only with fangs. #Quote by Heather Brewer
Santa Claus quotes by Siri Mitchell
#86. This I've learned in life: If you don't believe in Santa Claus, he can't bring you any presents. #Quote by Siri Mitchell
Santa Claus quotes by Louis Sachar
#87. Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus! #Quote by Louis Sachar
Santa Claus quotes by Brom
#88. Santa Claus and all his little presents tend to get in the way of God's message."
"As can religion," Santa replied. #Quote by Brom
Santa Claus quotes by Daniel Dennett
#89. The kindly God who lovingly fashioned each and every one of us and sprinkled the sky with shining stars for our delight - that God is, like Santa Claus, a myth of childhood, not anything [that] a sane, undeluded adult could literally believe in. That God must either be turned into a symbol for something less concrete or abandoned altogether. #Quote by Daniel Dennett
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#90. Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That's what all those mall Santas are. They're trying to start their own festive colonies. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Emma Watson
#91. Harry Potter's like Santa Clause: something you can't see but wish was real so badly that you end up believing in it. #Quote by Emma Watson
Santa Claus quotes by Lemony Snicket
#92. Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."
"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals. #Quote by Lemony Snicket
Santa Claus quotes by Carolee Dean
#93. It brings back a long-forgotten memory of Christmas, the year I turned six. I was supposed to be in bed, but I was up waiting and watching for my father or Santa Claus, whoever came first. #Quote by Carolee Dean
Santa Claus quotes by Michael Diack
#94. Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It's time for Santa to get serious. #Quote by Michael Diack
Santa Claus quotes by H.L. Mencken
#95. It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities. #Quote by H.L. Mencken
Santa Claus quotes by Peter De Vries
#96. "You don't believe in God," I said to Stein. "God is a word banging around in the human nervous system. He exists about as much as Santa Claus." "Santa Claus has had a tremendous influence, exist or not." "For children." "Lots of saints have died for God with a courage that's hardly childish." "That's part of the horror. It's all a fantasy. It's all for nothing." #Quote by Peter De Vries
Santa Claus quotes by Ted Strickland
#97. If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves. #Quote by Ted Strickland
Santa Claus quotes by L.B. Taylor Jr.
#98. Grandmother's knee is a wonderful place to learn about the Bible, ghosts, and even Santa Claus, but a mighty poor place to learn about history. #Quote by L.B. Taylor Jr.
Santa Claus quotes by Alice Taylor
#99. Later that day I went back to the old turf-house door and drew back the ivy. There between the stones was the dried-out bird's nest that was no longer in use because its owner was on her foreign holidays. I eased my letter to Santa out of my pocket and tucked it into the nest. I considered this the ideal resting place because the owner and Santa both belonged to foreign places and came here across the sky. There was the mystery of the unknown about the worlds they both came from; they belonged in the sky and my letter was destined to join them there when the time was right. #Quote by Alice Taylor
Santa Claus quotes by W.C. Fields
#100. Prayers never bring anything ... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas #Quote by W.C. Fields
Santa Claus quotes by David Letterman
#101. Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able to do the show. #Quote by David Letterman
Santa Claus quotes by Truman Capote
#102. Of course there is a Santa Claus. It's just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. That's why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are. #Quote by Truman Capote
Santa Claus quotes by Jeannette Walls
#103. I never believed in Santa Claus. None of us kids did. Mom and Dad refused to let us. They couldn't afford expensive presents and they didn't want us to think we weren't as good as other kids who, on Christmas morning, found all sorts of fancy toys under the tree that were supposedly left by Santa Claus.
Dad had lost his job at the gypsum, and when Christmas came that year, we had no money at all. On Christmas Eve, Dad took each one of us kids out into the desert night one by one.
"Pick out your favorite star", Dad said.
"I like that one!" I said.
Dad grinned, "that's Venus", he said. He explained to me that planets glowed because reflected light was constant and stars twinkled because their light pulsed.
"I like it anyway" I said.
"What the hell," Dad said. "It's Christmas. You can have a planet if you want."
And he gave me Venus.

Venus didn't have any moons or satellites or even a magnetic field, but it did have an atmosphere sort of similar to Earth's, except it was super hot-about 500 degrees or more. "So," Dad said, "when the sun starts to burn out and Earth turns cold, everyone might want to move to Venus to get warm. And they'll have to get permission from your descendants first.
We laughed about all the kids who believed in the Santa myth and got nothing for Christmas but a bunch of cheap plastic toys. "Years from now, when all the junk they got is broken and long forgotten," Dad said, "you'll still have your stars. #Quote by Jeannette Walls
Santa Claus quotes by Jon Bon Jovi
#104. Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will? #Quote by Jon Bon Jovi
Santa Claus quotes by Santino Hassell
#105. I've survived a winter in Siberia when I was ten."
"What were you doing in a Siberia at ten years old?" Boyd asked dubiously.
"Searching for Santa Claus" (Sin) #Quote by Santino Hassell
Santa Claus quotes by Rex Ryan
#106. We're going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett - all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus. #Quote by Rex Ryan
Santa Claus quotes by Courtney Love
#107. I don't really miss God but I sure miss Santa Claus! #Quote by Courtney Love
Santa Claus quotes by Dan Quayle
#108. Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said 'I believe in Santa Claus.' And the only thing that I could think is that I believe in George Bush. #Quote by Dan Quayle
Santa Claus quotes by Woody Allen
#109. If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life [than a non-believer]. #Quote by Woody Allen
Santa Claus quotes by Mark W. Boyer
#110. You have heard about the reindeer that pull old Santa's sled.
But mostly I hate Rudolph and wish that he were dead.
With his nose of red which we all know just can't be true.
I wish someone would just kill him, that someone could be you.
He is Santa's favorite and to the front he can be found.
Instead of his red nose, "I" think it should be brown.
He believes that Santa likes him and thinks that he's a winner.
But Santa Claus has other plans he wants Rudolph for his dinner.
Old Saint Nick is greedy this I know without a doubt.
What else do you think happens to all the great toys we go without?
He takes them and he breaks them be cause he doesn't care a bit.
To me it doesn't matter, Why, he can keep his "Schict".
Yes' it's true that I hate Santa too, dressed in his suit of silk.
That's why this year with the homemade cookies,
I'm going to leave some poison milk. #Quote by Mark W. Boyer
Santa Claus quotes by Mickey Hart
#111. The Grateful Dead were very kind. It was Santa Claus. It did good things. It allowed other people to benefit. The benefits that we played were enormous, and we played free. So you've got a band that loves to play free, and that was a wonderful thing. #Quote by Mickey Hart
Santa Claus quotes by Victor Borge
#112. Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year #Quote by Victor Borge
Santa Claus quotes by Jude Wanniski
#113. The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus, #Quote by Jude Wanniski
Santa Claus quotes by Kevin Hearne
#114. My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely - a creature they'd known for centuries - because of me. It was like watching Rudolph get shot by Santa Claus. #Quote by Kevin Hearne
Santa Claus quotes by Jim Cantalupo
#115. Ronald has had bicycle safety and safety in the home. Yes, Ronald is McDonald's, second most recognised figure after Santa Claus, and there's an element of obviously benefiting your business. #Quote by Jim Cantalupo
Santa Claus quotes by Jim Harris
#116. Why thanks", Santa said. "you're awfully kind... (Though they are a bit snug ... on my ample behind."
"Don't worry," I told him, "you'll be all right...
Besides you'll need them Christmas Eve night."
So laying a finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight...
"They've RIPPED!
I knew these pants were too tight! #Quote by Jim Harris
Santa Claus quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
#117. My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. #Quote by Anthony Jeselnik
Santa Claus quotes by Barbara Smoker
#118. Empathising with the younger children on whom the same confidence trick was being imposed, I embarked on a crusade around the neighbourhood, telling all the kids that there was no Santa Claus. This reached the ears of the father of a neighbouring family, who reproved me for spoiling it for the little ones. Spoiling it! I could not understand what he meant. To my mind, they were being made fools of, and I was only saving them from this indignity. #Quote by Barbara Smoker
Santa Claus quotes by S.J. Watson
#119. There was a letter, tucked among the pictures. It was addressed to Santa Claus and written in blue crayon. The jerky letters danced across the page. He wanted a bike, he said, or a puppy, and promised to be good. It was signed, and he had added his age. Four.
I do not know why, but as I read it, my world seemed to collapse. Grief exploded in my chest like a grenade. I had been feeling calm - not happy, not even resigned, but calm - and that serenity vanished, as if vaporized. Beneath it, I was raw. #Quote by S.J. Watson
Santa Claus quotes by Orson Scott Card
#120. I think Santa Claus is, by and large, quite beneficial, for when the child is finally allowed
or forced
to recognize the nonexistence of Santa Claus, then the child is able to go through the vital intellectual process of reconstructing reality in light of new evidence, complete with back-forming new stories to account for past events. This prepares the child for many other disillusionments and gives her vital and well-supported experience in maintaining her grip on reality independent of the stories told to her at any given time. #Quote by Orson Scott Card
Santa Claus quotes by Dave Barry
#121. Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up. #Quote by Dave Barry
Santa Claus quotes by Eric Kaplan
#122. Notice that your judgments of what exists are the same kind of judgments you make about how to live your life. There aren't two kinds of things we do: judge what exists and decide what we want to do about it. Fundamentally, there is one kind of thing we do: live our lives. And we can reflect on this activity more or less abstractly. #Quote by Eric Kaplan
Santa Claus quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
#123. You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. #Quote by Jeff Foxworthy
Santa Claus quotes by Shirley Temple Black
#124. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. #Quote by Shirley Temple Black
Santa Claus quotes by Kristen Ashley
#125. Ty's grin died and he muttered, "Fuck , what I do not need is another fuckin' problem." "Well, now you're makin' me feel like Santa Claus. #Quote by Kristen Ashley
Santa Claus quotes by Francis Pharcellus Church
#126. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. #Quote by Francis Pharcellus Church
Santa Claus quotes by Al Smith
#127. No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas. #Quote by Al Smith
Santa Claus quotes by Floyd Landis
#128. Look, at some point, people have to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real. I hate to be the guy to do it, but it's just not real. #Quote by Floyd Landis
Santa Claus quotes by Francis Pharcellus Church
#129. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! #Quote by Francis Pharcellus Church
Santa Claus quotes by Charles M. Schulz
#130. You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy ... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better ... Something just a shade more friendly ... "
"How about 'Dear Fatty'? #Quote by Charles M. Schulz
Santa Claus quotes by Mariana Zapata
#131. Thank you again for standing up for me."

He grumbled, "Stop it."

I smiled a little more genuinely. "I have this cream for bruises, let me go grab it."

Aiden jerked his head back like I was about to try to shove a hot dog in his mouth. "You know I don't care about bruises."

"Too bad. I do. He can be black and purple tomorrow - and I freaking hope he is - but I'd rather you didn't." I winced at the small crack in his lip. "What did he have to do? Take a running start to reach your face?"

Aiden burst out laughing, not even grimacing as his cut split wide.

"Seriously, Aiden." I reached up to touch his bruised jaw gently with my fingertips. "Did he sucker punch you?"

The big guy shook his head.

"He actually managed to get a fair shot in?" I wasn't going to lie. I was a little disappointed. Aiden getting punched was almost like finding out Santa Claus wasn't real. He'd gotten into a handful fights in his career before - I'd seen footage of it online when I shared it on his fan page because people were vicious and loved that kind of thing - and while he wasn't this hotheaded asshole who liked to get into it for no reason, each time it happened, he beat the shit out of whoever tried to start something with him.

It was impressive. What could I say?

Then he gave me that dumb look that drove me nuts and I frowned. "No. I made sure he hit me first, and I let him do it twice befor #Quote by Mariana Zapata
Santa Claus quotes by Alton Thompson
#132. The three phases of Santa belief:
(1) Santa is real.
(2) Santa isn't real.
(3) Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. #Quote by Alton Thompson
Santa Claus quotes by Benicio Del Toro
#133. Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He said he'd get back to me next year. #Quote by Benicio Del Toro
Santa Claus quotes by Brandon Sanderson
#134. It had been like discovering that Santa Claus was secretly a Nazi. #Quote by Brandon Sanderson
Santa Claus quotes by Christopher Hawke
#135. It's no secret that we all live within a damning illusion called denial. We are doomed by our own far-reaching imaginations and beliefs that extend into a glorified version of eternity. How are we to live sanely on the earth, with our heads in the clouds, when we are so far from being giants? How are we to claim higher ideals, when God is absent from the conversations in our minds?
There can be no going back, once we've believed in perfection. We are slain by the stories we were taught as children, stories about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a God who cares.
We pass these heirlooms to our children with the same fervor with which they were delivered, never allowing ourselves to doubt their authenticity or value.
I wondered what the view held outside the proverbial slaughterhouse. For a spiritually awakened person, a good God seems the only reasonable answer. If there's no eternal good, then what would be the use of life?
Man lays the tracks of good and evil before the train of his evolution, moving onward into places he barely understands #Quote by Christopher Hawke
Santa Claus quotes by Ben Stein
#136. [I did] Some [reading to prep for Expelled]. I read one book cover to cover, From Darwin to Hitler , and that was a very interesting book
one of these rare books I wish had been even longer. It's about how Darwin 's theory
supposedly concocted by this mild-mannered saintly man, with a flowing white beard like Santa Claus
led to the murder of millions of innocent people. #Quote by Ben Stein
Santa Claus quotes by Criss Jami
#137. The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff. #Quote by Criss Jami
Santa Claus quotes by Rickie Lee Jones
#138. For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus. #Quote by Rickie Lee Jones
Santa Claus quotes by Pet Torres
#139. It looks like you're mocking me as if I am a girl who still believes in Santa Claus. Emily says. #Quote by Pet Torres
Santa Claus quotes by Lavie Tidhar
#140. Listen to this. A bomb goes off downtown and the police arrest the Easter bunny, Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and Osama Bin Laden. They put them in an identity parade and have a witness try to point out the perpetrator. Who does she pick?"
Joe said, "I don't know."
"Osama Bin Laden," the taxi driver said. "Because the other three don't exist. #Quote by Lavie Tidhar
Santa Claus quotes by Scott Dikkers
#141. Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God. #Quote by Scott Dikkers
Santa Claus quotes by Ibrahim Ibrahim
#142. Algiz literally means 'the roots, branch', and it also means 'to cut'. Its link to ancient Egyptian 'Ka' is unmistakable. The origins of Santa Claus are found there long before the 'family tree' tradition got transmitted into Babylon. Even on the circular zodiac of Dendera, there is a cut leg piece of a bull alongside a crab running parallel to the Christmas Axis. #Quote by Ibrahim Ibrahim
Santa Claus quotes by Edwin Osgood Grover
#143. Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is never closed against the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid the week; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life's common road; who lives his life throughout the entire year in the Christmas spirit. #Quote by Edwin Osgood Grover
Santa Claus quotes by Bob Phillips
#144. There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. #Quote by Bob Phillips
Santa Claus quotes by Kristen Ashley
#145. No, it was because he had kind eyes and a face that lit up when those eyes hit Tabby. The overall look might be scary to some, but to me, he looked like Biker Santa Claus. Hey, #Quote by Kristen Ashley
Santa Claus quotes by Charles M. Schulz
#146. You mean you're going to send the same form letter to the Great Pumpkin, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?"
"Why not? These guys get so much mail they can't possibly tell the difference ... I bet they don't even read the letters themselves! How could they?! The trouble with you, Charlie Brown, is you don't understand how these big organizations work! #Quote by Charles M. Schulz
Santa Claus quotes by George Seaton
#147. Guys who dress up like Santa Claus, see, and give presents away do it because when they was young they must have did something bad and they feel guilty about it. So now they do something they think is good to make up for it, see? #Quote by George Seaton
Santa Claus quotes by Tijan
#148. But my absolute favorite was when you said I was the Santa Claus Magic Mike, and I could bring my presents down your chimney all year round." I #Quote by Tijan
Santa Claus quotes by Maria Dahvana Headley
#149. Death is the Santa Claus of the adult world. Except Santa Claus in reverse. The guy who takes all the presents away. #Quote by Maria Dahvana Headley
Santa Claus quotes by Rebecca McNutt
#150. She dug into one of the boxes, finding clay angels she'd made in art class when she was seven years old. She found plastic swans on strings and red crystal cardinals. She found a blue-and-white rocking horse covered in glitter. She found a porcelain Santa Claus. She found that she couldn't figure out where the hell time had gone. #Quote by Rebecca McNutt
Santa Claus quotes by H.L. Mencken
#151. God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat. #Quote by H.L. Mencken
Santa Claus quotes by Catherynne M Valente
#152. 1. Santa Claus is real. However, your parents are folkloric constructs meant to protect and foritfy children against the darknesses of the real world. They are symbols representing the return of the sun and the end of winter, the sacrifice of the king and the eternal fecundity of the queen. They wear traditional vestments and are associated with certain seasonal plants, animals, and foods. After a certain age, no intelligent child continues believing in their parents, and it is embarrassing when one professes such faith after puberty. Santa Claus, however, will never fail us. #Quote by Catherynne M Valente
Santa Claus quotes by Peter Dinklage
#153. I was once part of a Christmas cabaret. I sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.' I tap-danced. I had a ten-gallon hat. It was quite absurd. #Quote by Peter Dinklage
Santa Claus quotes by Charlie Viracola
#154. Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents. So I never got anything. #Quote by Charlie Viracola
Santa Claus quotes by Stephen Chbosky
#155. Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog

And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's

and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"

because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint

And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed

when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
#Quote by Stephen Chbosky
Santa Claus quotes by Dean Koontz
#156. My parents didn't raise me to ask God for blessings or benefits. For guidance, yes. For the strength to do the right thing, yes. Not for a winning lottery number, not for love or health, or happiness. Prayer is not a gimme list; God isn't Santa Claus. #Quote by Dean Koontz
Santa Claus quotes by Raven Grimassi
#157. HOLLY KING is a symbol of the waning forces of Nature ... The Holly King is depicted as an old man in winter garb. His head bears a wreath of holly and he often carries a staff that is typically a holly branch. Some Santa Claus figures are actually Holly King figures. #Quote by Raven Grimassi
Santa Claus quotes by Barbara Bretton
#158. I use to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tom Cruise too. #Quote by Barbara Bretton
Santa Claus quotes by Stormie O'martian
#159. Prayer is much more than just giving a list of desires to God, as if He were the great Sugar Daddy/Santa Claus in the sky. Prayer is acknowledging and experiencing the presence of God and inviting His presence into our lives and circumstances. It's seeking the presence of God and releasing the power of God which gives us the means to overcome any problem. #Quote by Stormie O'martian
Santa Claus quotes by Paul Murray
#160. You know, you spend your childhood watching TV, assuming that at some point in the future everything you see there will one day happen to you: that you too will win a Formula One race, hop a train, foil a group of terrorists, tell someone 'Give me the gun', etc. Then you start secondary school, and suddenly everyone's asking you about your career plans and your long-term goals, and by goals they don't mean the kind you are planning to score in the FA Cup. Gradually the awful truth dawns on you: that Santa Claus was just the tip of the iceberg - that your future will not be the rollercoaster ride you'd imagined, that the world occupied by your parents, the world of washing the dishes, going to the dentist, weekend trips to the DIY superstore to buy floor-tiles, is actually largely what people mean when they speak of 'life'. Now, with every day that passes, another door seems to close, the one marked PROFESSIONAL STUNTMAN, or FIGHT EVIL ROBOT, until as the weeks go by and the doors - GET BITTEN BY SNAKE, SAVE WORLD FROM ASTEROID, DISMANTLE BOMB WITH SECONDS TO SPARE - keep closing, you begin to hear the sound as a good thing, and start closing some yourself, even ones that didn't necessarily need to be closed. #Quote by Paul Murray
Santa Claus quotes by Jim Cornette
#161. The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is. #Quote by Jim Cornette
Santa Claus quotes by Matt Barr
#162. Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus. #Quote by Matt Barr
Santa Claus quotes by J.R. Ward
#163. Z: "You know, this was a hell of a lot easier when you were out cold in the back of that truck."
Phury: "That was you?"
Z:"You think it was Santa Claus or some shit? #Quote by J.R. Ward
Santa Claus quotes by Barbara Kingsolver
#164. He had a white beard and twinkly blue eyes, and all in all gave the impression of what Santa Claus would look like if he'd converted to Christian and gone without a good meal sine last Christmas. #Quote by Barbara Kingsolver
Santa Claus quotes by Danielle De Niese
#165. I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12! #Quote by Danielle De Niese
Santa Claus quotes by Marilyn Manson
#166. In the Bible, the word antichrist is only used as a description of people who don't believe in the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. He is not described as one satanic entity - as the beast of Revelation which many people believe - but as a person, any person, who deviates from the Christian orthodoxy. But through years of myth-making and fear-sowing, Christianity metamorphosed antichrists into a single Antichrist, an apocalyptic villain and Christian bogeyman used to scare people much as Santa Claus is used to regulate children's behavior. #Quote by Marilyn Manson
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#167. We half-eat cookies and drink the milk, we leave notes, all so kids will believe in something that isn't true. Kids try their best to scientifically determine whether Santa's real and our whole culture feeds them false evidence. We dupe them. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by P.G. Wodehouse
#168. It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle. #Quote by P.G. Wodehouse
Santa Claus quotes by Jon Stewart
#169. Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. #Quote by Jon Stewart
Santa Claus quotes by Garth Risk Hallberg
#170. It was almost Christmas, and a Santa Claus in a vacant lot was offering to appear in pictures for five dollars. The trim on his suit was mangy, as if it had been dug out of a dumpster, yet young mothers queued ten deep on the sidewalk, holding the hands of kids waiting to get in. #Quote by Garth Risk Hallberg
Santa Claus quotes by Jacobus Koelman
#171. Do not allow your children to celebrate the days on which unbelief and superstition are being catered to. They are admittedly inclined to want this because they see that the children of Roman Catholic parents observe those days. Do not let them attend carnivals, observe Shrove Tuesday (Mardi Gras), see Santa Claus, or observe Twelfth Night, because they are all remnants of an idolatrous papacy. You must not keep your children out of school or from work on those days nor let them play outside or join in the amusement. The Lord has said, "After the doings of the land of Egypt, where you lived, shall ye not do: and after the doings of the land of Canaan, where I bring you, you shall not do: neither shall you walk in their ordinances" (Lev. 18:3). The Lord will punish the Reformed on account of the days of Baal (Hosea 2:12-13), and he also observes what the children do on the occasion of such idolatry (Jer. 17:18). Therefore, do not let your children receive presents on Santa Claus day, nor let them draw tickets in a raffle and such things. Pick other days on which to give them the things that amuse them, and because the days of Christmas, Easter, and Pentecost have the same character, Reformed people must keep their children away from these so-called holy days and feast days. #Quote by Jacobus Koelman
Santa Claus quotes by J.R. Ward
#172. In the far corner, a tenor began to sing, Zsadist's crystal-clear voice sailing up toward the warrior paintings on the ceiling far, far above them all. At first John didn't know what the song was ... although if he'd been asked what his name was, he would have said Santa Claus, or Luther Vandross, or Teddy Roosevelt.
Maybe even Joan Collins. #Quote by J.R. Ward
Santa Claus quotes by David Letterman
#173. You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this holiday season, no Santa Claus. They're laying off department-store Santa Clauses. So more bad news for John McCain. #Quote by David Letterman
Santa Claus quotes by Jill Shalvis
#174. So if there was a Santa Claus, what would you ask him for?" he asked.
You, she nearly said. She'd want him for Christmas and no take backs. #Quote by Jill Shalvis
Santa Claus quotes by Dean Koontz
#175. I stopped keeping an eye out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve because, when I was five, my mother told me that Santa was a wicked pervert who would cut off my peepee with a pair of scissors ... if I didn't stop chattering about him, he would be certain to put me on his list and look me up.
Christmas was never the same after that, but at least I still have my peepee. #Quote by Dean Koontz
Santa Claus quotes by Kristen Ashley
#176. that'd be High." I stared up at my husband, the sharpest man I knew, wondering how, at least with one thing, he could be so dumb. "Uh, I don't think so." His gaze cut back to me. "Come again?" "The woman we just saw was the female adult equivalent of a six-year-old who just learned there's no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, and she was adopted." He looked to the heavens and muttered, "Fuck." "Seriously," I snapped. #Quote by Kristen Ashley
Santa Claus quotes by Paul Washer
#177. Sunday morning in America is the greatest hour of idolatry in the whole week. Why? Because most people who are even worshiping God, are worshiping a God they don't know. They're worshiping a god that looks more like Santa Claus than the God of Scripture. They're worshiping a god that is a figment of their own imagination. They created a god in their own likeness and they worship the god they've made. #Quote by Paul Washer
Santa Claus quotes by Beverly Adams
#178. What is red, white and black all over and says "Ho! Ho!"? Santa Claus after he has came down the chimney. #Quote by Beverly Adams
Santa Claus quotes by Patti Smith
#179. Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man. #Quote by Patti Smith
Santa Claus quotes by Milton Rokeach
#180. On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde.
"Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis - that's what it means to me."
"Santa Claus is a good symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores. #Quote by Milton Rokeach
Santa Claus quotes by Hayden Schlossberg
#181. If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer. #Quote by Hayden Schlossberg
Santa Claus quotes by Pat Boone
#182. The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus. #Quote by Pat Boone
Santa Claus quotes by Christopher Hitchens
#183. Jesus is Santa Claus for Adults #Quote by Christopher Hitchens
Santa Claus quotes by Meg Ryan
#184. Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney. #Quote by Meg Ryan
Santa Claus quotes by Santa Claus
#185. Those who truly believe are always rewarded with the truth. #Quote by Santa Claus
Santa Claus quotes by David Levithan
#186. Who the hell wants to be the one to tell a kid that santa claus isn't real. it's the truth, right? but you're still a jerk for saying it. #Quote by David Levithan
Santa Claus quotes by Sierra Donovan
#187. He reached up and traced her cheek with the outside of his fingers. "Guys like me look for reasons. We look for explanations. I've been trying for hours to make sense out of this, and I only know two things. When it comes to you and Santa Claus, 'sense' doesn't work. And I love you. #Quote by Sierra Donovan
Santa Claus quotes by Penny Reid
#188. Kevin Arthur liked cutting hair. I reckoned his desire was a good one, considering he was a barber. However, Kevin always wanted to cut more inches off my hair than requested. We argued every time I came into his shop.

I told him my hair needed weight, otherwise it stood straight up and out, and my head - which was larger than average already, likely to accommodate my massive brain - resembled a cantaloupe on a toothpick, with cantaloupes being the least esteemed of all fruit.

He maintained I needed a short cut, with the sides clipped close, and the top longer and thinned. He said the thickness of my hair was responsible for its propensity to misbehave. He said the cut would bring all the girls to my yard.

This was doubtful. First of all, I didn't want girls in my yard. I didn't want anyone in my yard. My yard was fine just as it was: self-maintained.

Secondly, I'd never been popular with the women folk. Women, or at least the women I knew, didn't much enjoy my lack of willingness to deal with bullshit. For that matter, most men I knew didn't enjoy this about me either.

Bullshit was the adult version of Santa Claus. For reasons I'll never comprehend,the general population seemed to enjoy wallowing, spouting, and believing in bullshit.

But back to my barber #Quote by Penny Reid
Santa Claus quotes by J.R. Ward
#189. Besides, the mhis that surrounded the compound could scramble anything from GPS to Santa Claus. #Quote by J.R. Ward
Santa Claus quotes by Arlo Guthrie
#190. Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? #Quote by Arlo Guthrie
Santa Claus quotes by Craig Claiborne
#191. Physically he was the connoisseur's connoisseur. He was a giant panda, Santa Claus and the Jolly Green Giant rolled into one. On him, a lean and slender physique would have looked like very bad casting. #Quote by Craig Claiborne
Santa Claus quotes by Ernest Cline
#192. About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. #Quote by Ernest Cline
Santa Claus quotes by Peter McWilliams
#193. Some of what we learned early on turned out to be true (the earth is round; if you want a friend be a friend; cleanliness is next to impossible) and some of it turned out to be false (Santa Claus; the Tooth Fairy; Kansas is more fun than Oz). #Quote by Peter McWilliams
Santa Claus quotes by James Caan
#194. I think we have to believe in things we don't see. That's really important for all of us, whether it's your religion or Santa Claus, or whatever. That's pretty much what it's about. #Quote by James Caan
Santa Claus quotes by Andy Rooney
#195. We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins. #Quote by Andy Rooney
Santa Claus quotes by Julie Burchill
#196. I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in some touchy-feely quarters, that all women are, or can be, beautiful. #Quote by Julie Burchill
Santa Claus quotes by Frederick Lenz
#197. Many practitioners think there is some giant balance scale, where someone is keeping track, like Santa Claus, and that will determine your allotment of presents. That's a very exoteric understanding of reincarnation. #Quote by Frederick Lenz
Santa Claus quotes by David Sedaris
#198. On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind. #Quote by David Sedaris
Santa Claus quotes by Paul J. Newell
#199. It made me realise just how desperate the world is for a superhero. I don't just mean those of the comic books. For there is an inexhaustible supply of would-be superheroes throughout history and across the globe. From the legends of King Arthur and Robin Hood, to the Gods of a thousand religions. From Santa Claus to Peter Pan to a myriad other folklore characters. Monsters from the Lochs. Spirits from the other side. Aliens from distant planets. The world longs for something ... something else. Something powerful and exciting. A little bit of magic. #Quote by Paul J. Newell
Santa Claus quotes by Terry Pratchett
#200. It`s better to ask Santa Claus for a pair of slippers for Christmas rather than peace on earth. You might actually get it. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Santa Claus quotes by Nell Newman
#201. I live in a cabin in Santa Cruz. #Quote by Nell Newman
Santa Claus quotes by Jennifer Lawrence
#202. Our first conversation was on the phone. I was in the bathtub, and I had to tell him that I was in the bathtub because I was afraid he would think I was, like, playing in the toilet when he heard water swishing around. [ ... ] Then we had breakfast in Santa Monica, and I spit egg inside of his mouth when I was talking. #Quote by Jennifer Lawrence
Santa Claus quotes by Leo Santa Cruz
#203. There are no little fights for me. I consider every fighter dangerous. You lose when you think a fighter is not on your level and then he comes in hungrier than you. That will never happen to me. #Quote by Leo Santa Cruz
Santa Claus quotes by Logan Green
#204. In March 2005, I was appointed to the board of the Santa Barbara metro transit district. I was incredibly optimistic about how public transportation can be the solution to help people live in the city and not need a car. #Quote by Logan Green
Santa Claus quotes by Cara Santa Maria
#205. Ultimately, the main reason that you want more women in the sciences is the same reason you want more gay men in the sciences. It's the same reason you want more Latinos or African Americans; it's because if you come at a problem from a different perspective, you will be offering a creative vision that wasn't there before. #Quote by Cara Santa Maria
Santa Claus quotes by John Bellairs
#206. St. Fidgeta is the patroness of nervous and unmanageable children. Her shrine is the church of Santa Fidgeta in Tormento, near Fobbio in southern Italy. There one may see the miraculous statues of St. Fidgeta, attributed to the Catholic Casting Company of Chicago, Illinois. The statue has been seen to squirm noticeably on her feast day, and so on that day restless children from all over Europe have been dragged to the shrine by equally nervous, worn-out, and half-mad parents. #Quote by John Bellairs
Santa Claus quotes by Vir Das
#207. It's very important to not repeat yourself. After 'Delhi Belly,' I was offered 40 'Delhi Belly's and you can't do that! So 'Revolver Rani' is dark and gritty with action, 'Sooper Se Oopar' is a big commercial love story, 'Santa Banta' is a 'theth' Punjabi comedy, 'Golu Aur Pappu' is a kids' film and 'Amit Sahni Ki List' is an urban romcom. #Quote by Vir Das
Santa Claus quotes by Kiersten White
#208. The door opens with a rusted jingle, and an animatronic Santa insults my moral virtue three times. Ho, ho, ho. #Quote by Kiersten White
Santa Claus quotes by Richard Rayner
#209. Cities have characters, pathologies that can make or destroy or infect you, states of mind that run through daily life as surely as a fault line. Chandler's "mysterious something" was a mood of disenchantment, an intense spiritual malaise that identified itself with Los Angeles at a particular time, what we call noir. On the one hand noir is a narrow film genre, born in Hollywood in the late 1930s when European visual style, the twisted perspectives and stark chiaroscuros of German Expressionism, met an American literary idiom. This fruitful comingling gave birth to movies like Double Indemnity, directed by Vienna-born Billy Wilder and scripted by Raymond Chandler from a James M. Cain novella. The themes - murderous sex and the cool, intricate amorality of money - rose directly from the psychic mulch of Southern California. But L.A. is a city of big dreams and cruelly inevitable disappointments where noir is more than just a slice of cinema history; it's a counter-tradition, the dark lens through which the booster myths came to be viewed, a disillusion that shadows even the best of times, an alienation that assails the sense like the harsh glitter of mica in the sidewalk on a pitiless Santa Ana day. Noir - in this sense a perspective on history and often a substitute for it - was born when the Roaring Twenties blew themselves out and hard times rushed in; it crystallized real-life events and the writhing collapse of the national economy before finding its interpreters #Quote by Richard Rayner
Santa Claus quotes by Francesca Lia Block
#210. On the way to Santa Cruz Dirk and Duck stopped along the coast to surf. They stopped so many times to surf and eat (they finished the avocado sandwiches in the first fifteen minutes and bought sunflower seeds, licorice, peaches, and Foster's Freeze soft ice cream along the way) that they didn't get to Santa Cruz until late that night. #Quote by Francesca Lia Block
Santa Claus quotes by Aaron Koblin
#211. I studied at UC Santa Cruz before going on to do a grad program at UCLA. Santa Cruz was like an awesome hippie summer camp. I got to take a vacation from reality and hang out on beaches and in forests. #Quote by Aaron Koblin
Santa Claus quotes by J.D. Robb
#212. Santa exists in the hearts of all true believers. #Quote by J.D. Robb
Santa Claus quotes by Jonathan  Dunne
#213. But Dunraven refused to ask God – he may as well be asking Santa to comb the area with Rudolph and his toy sled. #Quote by Jonathan Dunne
Santa Claus quotes by C.F. McGlashan
#214. December 16, 1846, the fifteen composing the "Forlorn Hope," left Donner Lake. January 17, 1847, as they reached Johnson's ranch; and February 5th Capt. Tucker's party started to the assistance of the emigrants. This first relief arrived February 19th at the cabins; the second relief, or Reed's party, arrived March 1st; the third, or Foster's, about the middle of March; and the fourth, or Fallon's, on the seventeenth of April. Upon the arrival of Capt. Fallon's company, the sight presented at the cabins beggars all description. Capt. R. P. Tucker, now of Goleta, Santa Barbara County, Cal., endeavors, in his correspondence, to give a slight idea of the scene. #Quote by C.F. McGlashan
Santa Claus quotes by Cate Kennedy
#215. Kids believe in Santa; adults believe in childhood. #Quote by Cate Kennedy
Santa Claus quotes by Michael Grant
#216. Sam Temple was taken by helicopter to a hospital in Los Angeles, where there were specialists there in burn injuries. He wasn't consulted: he was found on his knees, obviously in shock, extensively burned. EMTs took over.
Astrid Ellison was taken to a hospital in Santa Barbara, as was Diana Ladris.
Other kids were shared out among half a dozen hospitals. Some specialized in plastic surgery, others in the effects of starvation.
Over the next week all were seen by psychiatrists once their immediate physical injuries were addressed. Lots of psychiatrists. And when they weren't being seen by psychiatrists, they were being seen by FBI agents, and California Highway Patrol investigators, and lawyers from the district attorney's office.
The consensus seemed to be that a number of the Perdido survivors, as they were now known, would be prosecuted for crimes ranging from simple assault to murder.
First on that list was Sam Temple. #Quote by Michael Grant
Santa Claus quotes by Jeff Bridges
#217. Work takes me away from my wife, Sue, and my life in Santa Barbara. #Quote by Jeff Bridges
Santa Claus quotes by Melissa Tagg
#218. Well, she'd been in shock. She could've believed just about anything. The Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, Santa... Yes, Virginia, men do let you down. #Quote by Melissa Tagg
Santa Claus quotes by Phil Vischer
#219. I am very serious when I say this, beware of your dreams, for dreams make dangerous friends. We all have them - longings for a better life, a healthy child, a happy marriage, rewarding work. But dreams are, I have come to believe, misplaced longings. False lovers. Why? Because God is enough. Just God. And he isn't "enough" because he can make our dreams come true - no, you've got him confused with Santa or Merlin or Oprah. The God who created the universe is enough for us - even without our dreams. #Quote by Phil Vischer
Santa Claus quotes by Dolly Parton
#220. I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and true love. Don't even try to tell me different. #Quote by Dolly Parton
Santa Claus quotes by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
#221. My favourite place in the whole city was the Sempere & Sons bookshop on Calle Santa Anna. It smelled of old paper and dust and it was my sanctuary, my refuge. #Quote by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Santa Claus quotes by Emo Philips
#222. Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo. #Quote by Emo Philips
Santa Claus quotes by Tiffany Reisz
#223. Michael fled up the steps and slipped back into their room. He undressed quickly and slid under the covers. Griffin stirred and pulled him close.
"Where did you disappear to?" Griffin asked in a sleepy voice.
"Santa made me blow him before he'd give up the presents. He's too old. Took him forever to come. #Quote by Tiffany Reisz
Santa Claus quotes by Claudia Gray
#224. God? Nope." requel's smile told me she was joking around to make this easier for me "santa clause? No again. #Quote by Claudia Gray
Santa Claus quotes by Tom Armstrong
#225. Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? #Quote by Tom Armstrong
Santa Claus quotes by Dick Van Dyke
#226. One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. I spent a lot of happy hours at Stan's house on Sundays just talking about comedy. #Quote by Dick Van Dyke
Santa Claus quotes by Irvine Welsh
#227. History repeated itself. The 'don't do the things I did' mantra was tiresome posh. The best way to make sure your children don't grow up as cunts is not to be one yourself - or not to let them SEE you being one. This is easier as a sober artist in Santa Barbara than as an alcoholic jailbird in Leith. #Quote by Irvine Welsh
Santa Claus quotes by Douglas Preston
#228. His face. Fenton was never one to like a slow day. The look was enough to tell Barnaby that something big had just come down. "Hutch?" "Hmmm?" Fenton went on, breathlessly. "The Broadbent place was robbed. I got one of the sons on the phone now." Hutch Barnaby didn't move a muscle. "Robbed of what?" "Everything." Fenton's black eyes glittered with relish. Barnaby sipped his coffee, sipped again, and then lowered his chair to the floor with a small clunk. Damn. As Barnaby and Fenton drove out the Old Santa Fe Trail, Fenton talked about the robbery. The collection, he'd heard, was worth half a billion. If the truth were anything close to that, Fenton said, it would be front-page-New-York-Times. He, Fenton, on the front page of the Times. Can you imagine #Quote by Douglas Preston
Santa Claus quotes by David Gerrold
#229. I felt like a kid at Santa Claus's funeral. #Quote by David Gerrold
Santa Claus quotes by Daniel Suarez
#230. Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad. #Quote by Daniel Suarez
Santa Claus quotes by Shaye Evans
#231. You ate the cookies and drank all the milk?" Cash asked, looking at the base of the tree.
"No. I didn't. Why would I? I don't like banana chip, they're your favorite."
"I didn't eat them, Harper."
"Sure you didn't."
"Prove it then."
"How? #Quote by Shaye Evans
Santa Claus quotes by Sarah Holman
#232. How about that one?"
"That fat thing?"
"Amber, it is a Christmas tree. It is supposed to be fat and jolly looking, like Santa Clause. #Quote by Sarah Holman
Santa Claus quotes by Christopher Titus
#233. I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos. #Quote by Christopher Titus
Santa Claus quotes by Ross King
#234. On August 19, 1418, a competition was announced in Florence, where the city's magnificent new cathedral, Santa Maria del Fiore, had been under construction for more than a century #Quote by Ross King
Santa Claus quotes by Mitchel Musso
#235. I'm not looking for anything more than any other guy. I like a good smile. Pretty eyes. She has to be active, like not play-sports active, but she'll play air hockey, do some pool, go for rides on the Santa Monica Pier. I would much rather have fun with her than do the cool thing. #Quote by Mitchel Musso
Santa Claus quotes by Leo Santa Cruz
#236. I have to stay concentrated. I have to maintain focus and concentration. I can't get ahead of myself. I give 100 percent in training and in the ring. I always want to put on a great fight for the fans. #Quote by Leo Santa Cruz
Santa Claus quotes by Peter Baynham
#237. Christmas movies, it's a hard thing to do. The danger is you just end up with a Hollywood star with a Santa beard. You risk it being fake and cheesy and not real. #Quote by Peter Baynham
Santa Claus quotes by Carl Sagan
#238. We tend to hear much more about the splendors returned than the ships that brought them or the shipwrights. It has always been that way. Even those history books enamored of the voyages of Christopher Columbus do not tell much about the builders of the Nina the Pinta and the Santa Maria or about the principle of the caravel. These spacecraft their designers builders navigators and controllers are examples of what science and engineering set free for well-defined peaceful purposes can accomplish. Those scientists and engineers should be role models for an America seeking excellence and international competitiveness. They should be on our stamps. #Quote by Carl Sagan
Santa Claus quotes by Volker G. Fremuth
#239. Why is the public so blindly self-destructive? So willing to enslave itself for a free trinket or empty promise? #Quote by Volker G. Fremuth
Santa Claus quotes by Inara George
#240. I was raised in Topanga Canyon. It's an eclectic community up in the Santa Monica mountains. A lot of musicians lived there - Joni Mitchell, Neil Young - as well as artists and craftspeople. #Quote by Inara George
Santa Claus quotes by Claus Von Stauffenberg
#241. We took this challenge before our Lord and our conscience, and it must be done, because this man, Hitler, he is the ultimate evil. #Quote by Claus Von Stauffenberg
Santa Claus quotes by Augusten Burroughs
#242. Normal people hadn't been molested or reared by a clinically psychotic mother, an alcoholic father, or a perversely mad psychiatrist who wore a Santa hat and performed toilet bowl readings. These were normal people, and I lived among them now. I thought, This must be what I want. #Quote by Augusten Burroughs
Santa Claus quotes by Thomm Quackenbush
#243. If you do not need something that it is still useful, give it to someone who will appreciate it before you douse it in lighter fluid in hopes Santa Odin will put a new one under your Yule tree. #Quote by Thomm Quackenbush
Santa Claus quotes by Fern Michaels
#244. You know what? From now on, I think I'm going to call you Mister Christmas. #Quote by Fern Michaels
Santa Claus quotes by Robert J. Wagner
#245. The first movie star I met was Norma Shearer. I was eight years old at the time and going to school with Irving Thalberg Jr. His father, the longtime production chief at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, devoted a large part of his creative life to making Norma a star, and he succeeded splendidly. Unfortunately, Thalberg had died suddenly in 1936, and his wife's career had begun to slowly deflate. Just like kids everywhere else, Hollywood kids had playdates at each other's houses, and one day I went to the Thalberg house in Santa Monica, where Irving Sr. had died eighteen months before. Norma was in bed, where, I was given to understand, she spent quite a bit of time so that on those occasions when she worked or went out in public she would look as rested as possible. She was making Marie Antoinette at the time, and to see her in the flesh was overwhelming. She very kindly autographed a picture for me, which I still have: "To Cadet Wagner, with my very best wishes. Norma Shearer." Years later I would be with her and Martin Arrouge, her second husband, at Sun Valley. No matter who the nominal hostess was, Norma was always the queen, and no matter what time the party was to begin, Norma was always late, because she would sit for hours - hours! - to do her makeup, then make the grand entrance. She was always and forever the star. She had to be that way, really, because she became a star by force of will - hers and Thalberg's. Better-looking on the screen than in life, Norma Shearer was certa #Quote by Robert J. Wagner
Santa Claus quotes by Marco Beltrami
#246. I like the scene in the first 'Scream' movie where Sidney gets up, and dusk is falling, and she's looking out at the hills of Santa Rosa, there where it was filmed, and that's where you sort of hear her theme being played out. I always liked that moment because, to me, it became more than just a horror movie. #Quote by Marco Beltrami
Santa Claus quotes by Ilona Andrews
#247. It's all fun and games until the drunk Viking Santa shows up. #Quote by Ilona Andrews
Santa Claus quotes by Lisa Bonet
#248. A group of us started a community center in Santa Monica. We've tried different programs, and three have worked really well. A poetry group. Once a week we visit Venice High and talk to girls at risk. #Quote by Lisa Bonet

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