Pratchett Quotes

Top 100 famous quotes & sayings about Pratchett.

Famous Quotes About Pratchett

Here are best 100 famous quotes about Pratchett that you can use to show your feeling, share with your friends and post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and blogs. Enjoy your day & share your thoughts with perfect pictures of Pratchett quotes.

Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#1. The Post Office was the underdog, and an underdog can always find somewhere soft to bite. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#2. Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"
"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#3. Upstairs, in what had been until then the cash office, Young Sam slept peacefully in a makeshift bed. One day, Vimes hoped, he would be able to tell him that on one special night he'd been guarded by four troll watchmen. They'd been off duty but volunteered to come in for this, and were just itching for some dwarfs to try anything. Sam hoped the boy would be impressed; the most other kids could hope for was angels. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#4. What some people need," said Magrat, to the world in general, "is a bit more heart."

"What some people need," said Granny Weatherwax, to the stormy sky, "is a lot more brain."

Then she clutched at her hat to stop the wind from blowing it off.

What I need, thought Nanny Ogg fervently, is a drink. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#5. Falling down a flight of steps with a dagger in your back is a disease caused by unwise opening of the mouth. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#6. Never trust any ruler who puts his faith in tunnels and bunkers and escape routes. The chances are that his heart isn't in the job. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#7. Tell him - tell him he's very welcome. Tell him breakfast is - uh - one gold piece'. For a moment Broadman's face looked as though some vast internal struggle was going on, and then he added with a burst of generosity, 'I'll throw in yours, too.' 'Stranger,' said Rincewind levelly. 'If you stay here you will be knifed or poisoned by nightfall. But don't stop smiling, or so will I. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#8. They returned more times than raw broccoli. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#9. Do you think there's anything to eat in this forest?"
"Yes," said the wizard bitterly, "us. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#10. I believe everyone should have a good death. You know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. Because after all, tears are appropriate on a death bed. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#11. For the enemy is not Troll, nor it is Dwarf, but it is the baleful, the malign, the cowardly, the vessels of hatred, those who do a bad thing and call it good. Those we fought today, but the willful fool is eternal and will say - '" "This is just a trick!" Ardent shouted. "' - say this is a trick,'" Bashfullsson continued, "'and so we implore: come to the caves under this valley, where you will find us sharing the peace that cannot be braken. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#12. Something like a small blue supernova flared for a moment in the depths of his eyesockets. It dawned on Mort that, with some embarrassment and complete lack of expertise, Death was trying to wink. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#13. HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death) #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#14. Once again he was aware of eyes staring fixedly at him. He glanced sideways into the long, pointed face of Goodboy Bindle Featherstone, rearing up in a pose best described as The Last Puppy in the Shop.
To his astonishment, he found himself reaching over and scratching it behind its ears, or at least behind the two spiky things at the sides of its head which were presumably its ears. It responded with a strange noise that sounded like a complicated blockage in a brewery. He took his hand away hurriedly.
"It's all right," said Lady Ramkin. "It's his stomachs rumbling. That means he likes you."
To his amazement, Vimes found that he was rather pleased about this. As far as he could recall, nothing in his life before had thought him worth a burp. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#15. The problem with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and putting things in it. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#16. And what are you doing on it, I would like to know? Running away from home, yesno? If you were a boy I'd say are you going to seek your fortune?"
"Can't girls seek their fortune?"
"I think they're supposed to seek a boy with a fortune. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#17. Well, there were plenty of things to do; there always were. There was no end to the wanting. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#18. But I don't believe in reincarnation! he protested.
SQUEAK.
And this, Mr Pounder understood with absolute rodent clarity, meant: reincarnation believes in you. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#19. You think wars get started because some duke gets shot, or someone cuts off one's ear, or someone's sited their missiles in the wrong place. It's not like that. That's just well, just reasons, which haven't got anything to do with it. What really causes wars is two sides that can't stand the sight of one another and the pressure builds up and up and then anything will cause it. Anything at all. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#20. There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#21. The Deftmenes are mad and the Dumii are sane, thought Snibril, and that's just the same as being mad except that it's quieter. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#22. Some of my best sources are ex-policemen, just to get a feeling of what it's like to be one. And it's quite different from being a civilian - except, of course, that I believe that policemen are just special sorts of civilians. Things like how hard it is to hold someone that doesn't want to be held. This is the kind of thing that is worth knowing. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#23. Angua sighed and stepped into the room behind the little museum. It was like the back rooms of museums everywhere, full of junk and things there is no room for on the shelves and also items of doubtful provenance, such as coins dated '52 BC'. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#24. Do you know what they called a sausage-in-a-bun in Quirm?' said Mr Pin, as the two walked away. 'No?' said Mr Tulip. 'They called it le sausage-in-le-bun. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#25. It only takes a tweak to make the whole world new. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#26. Your gods are trivial constructs. Easy to dismiss. Animistic fantasies or mammalian wish complexes. You are lost children longing for papa, and casting his image into the sky. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#27. How do you get shadows when there's no sun in the sky? she thought, because it was better to think about things like this than all the other, much #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#28. Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#29. For once the sky was clear, the high Ramtops standing out crisp and white like the brides of the sky (with their trousseaux stuffed with thunderstorms) #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#30. The rising sun managed to peek around the vast column of smoke that forever rose from Ankh-Morpork, City of Cities, illustrating almost up to the edge of space that smoke means progress or, at least, people setting fire to things. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#31. Esme said no because, she wasted time wishing for thinges instead of working out how to make them happen. What #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#32. What does a man stand up to do, a woman sit down to do, and a dog lift its leg to do?" And then, when everyone was too embarrassed to answer, she'd triumphantly shriek "Shake hands! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#33. But William felt in his bones that you couldn't run a city on the basis of what the Watch liked. The Watch would probably like it if everyone spent their time indoors, with their hands on the table where people could see them. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#34. That's what being alive is, Thing! It's being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#35. Well,' said Tiffany, 'there's too much to be done and not enough people to do it.' The smile that the kelda gave her was a strange one. The little woman said, 'Do ye let them try? Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#36. And the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#37. I may be daft but I'm no' stupid! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#38. As castles went, this one looked as though it could be taken by a small squad of not very efficient soldiers. For defence, putting a blanket over your head might be marginally safer. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#39. It is forbidden to fight on the Killing Ground," he said, and paused while he considered the sense of this. "You know what I mean anyway ... #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#40. YOU WILL NOT TELL THE RIVERS NOT TO FLOW. YOU WILL NOT TELL THE SUN NOT TO SHINE. YOU WILL NOT TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT DO. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Rhianna Pratchett
#41. I think 'Overlord' has definitely benefited because I work with every single level designer, and working where we have space to tell the story. That's what it's all about - getting writers and storytellers involved in the team and being a back and forth process. #Quote by Rhianna Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#42. And you know what? Books live. The pages remember! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#43. - "Surely you have considered terrorist activity?"
There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere, "Yes, I suppose we must. All we need to do is find some terrorists who are capable of taking an entire nuclear reactor out of its can while it's running and without anyone noticing. It weighs about a thousand tons and is forty feet high. So they'll be quite strong terrorists. Perhaps you'd like to ring them up, sir, and ask them questions in that supercilious, accusatory way of yours."
The BBC interviews a nuclear spokesperson (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens) #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#44. If you take the long view, the universe is just something small and round, like those water filled balls which produce a miniature snowstorm when you shake them. * Although, unless the ineffable plan is a lot more ineffable than it's given credit for, it does not have a giant plastic snowman at the bottom. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#45. Untruthful?" said Ridcully. "Me? I'm as honest as the day is long! Yes, what is it this time?" Ponder had tugged at his robe and now he whispered something in his ear. Ridcully cleared his throat. "I am reminded that this is in fact the shortest day of the year," he said. "However, this does not undermine the point that I just made, although I thank my colleague for his invaluable support and constant readiness to correct minor if not downright trivial errors. I am a remarkably truthful man, sir. Things said at University council meetings don't count. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#46. I asked for reasons, and here they are, yelling and smelling and demanding, the last people in the world, and I need them. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#47. Personally, I treasure my ignorance of how machinery works, although I am well aware that this is something of great interest to some people, he added, in a tone of voice that suggested he meant strange and secret people ... busy people, excitable people, fiddling people, tinkering and volatile people. A kind, alas, who would say something as innocent as, let's give it a try, it can't hurt, surely? We can always hide under the coffee table. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#48. The hypothesis behind invisible writings was laughably complicated. All books are tenuously connected through L-space and, therefore, the content of any book ever written or yet to be written may, in the right circumstances, be deduced from a sufficiently close study of books already in existence. Future books exist in potentia, as it were, in the same way that a sufficiently detailed study of a handful of primal ooze will eventually hint at the future existence of prawn crackers. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#49. It might have interested Newt to know that, of the thirty-nine thousand women tested with the pin during the centuries of witch-hunting, twenty-nine thousand said "ouch," nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine didn't feel anything because of the use of the aforesaid retractable pins, and one witch declared that it had miraculously cleared up the arthritis in her leg. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#50. It's a certainty, but it just might work. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#51. You wanted magic, watch". She put her hand into the struggling mass of insects and made a shrill faint piping noise in the back of her throat. There was a movement in the mass, and a large bee lander and flatter then the others crawled onto her hand. A few workers followed it stroking it and generally ministering to it.
"How did you do that" said Esk.
"Ahhh," said Granny, "wouldn't you like to know".
"Yes I would that's why I asked Granny," said Esk severely.
"Do you think I used magic", Esk looked down at the queen bee, then up at the witch.
"No, I think you just know a lot about bees".
Granny grinned, "Exactly correct, that's one form of magic of course".
"What just knowing things".
"Knowing things that other people don't know," said Granny #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#52. I F YOU WANT TO IMAGINE the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends. And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot ... no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human ... Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield ... . ... forever. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#53. But you don't even like being a Fool!" "I hate it. But that's got nothing to do with it. If I've got to be a Fool, I'll do it properly." "That's really stupid," said Magrat. "Foolish, I'd prefer." The #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#54. Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#55. She prowled the city on moonlit nights, and OK, there was the occasional chicken, but she always remembered where she'd been and went round the next day to shove some money under the door. It was hard to be a vegetarian who had to pick bits of meat out of her teeth in the morning. She was definately on top of it, though. It was easy to be a vegetarian by day. It was preventing yourself from becoming a humanitarian at night that took the real effort. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#56. What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#57. I kill in my own time," he said. "In any case, killing unconscious people isn't right."
"I can't think of a more opportune time," said the Loremaster. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#58. Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#59. But cats are good at steering people. A miaow here, a purr there, a little gentle pressure with a claw . . . and Maurice had never had to think about it before. Cats didn't have to think. They just had to know what they wanted. Humans had to do the thinking. That's what they were for. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#60. It makes you wonder if there is anything to astrology after all.' 'Oh, there is,' said Susan. 'Delusion, wishful thinking and gullibility. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#61. Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#62. Royalty pollutes people's minds, boy. honest men start bowing and bobbing just because someone's granddad was a bigger murdering bastard than theirs was. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#63. This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#64. The anthropologists got it wrong when they named our species Homo sapiens ('wise man'). In any case it's an arrogant and bigheaded thing to say, wisdom being one of our least evident features. In reality, we are Pan narrans, the storytelling chimpanzee. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#65. And that had led to all the trouble with How to Dynamically Manage People for Dynamic Results in a Caring Empowering Way in Quite a Short Time Dynamically. Ponder didn't know when this book would be written, or even in which world it might be published, but it was obviously going to be popular because random trawls in the depths of L-space often turned up fragments. Perhaps it wasn't even just one book.

And the fragments had been on Ponder's desk when Ridcully had been poking around.

Unfortunately, like many people who are instinctively bad at something, the Archchancellor prided himself on how good at it he was. Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.

His mental approach to it could be visualized as a sort of business flowchart with, at the top, a circle entitled "Me, who does the telling" and, connected below it by a line, a large circle entitled "Everyone else."

Until now this had worked quite well, because, although Ridcully was an impossible manager, the University was impossible to manage and so everything worked seamlessly.

And it would have continued to do so if he hadn't suddenly started to see the point in preparing career development packages and, worst of all, job descriptions. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#66. Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#67. Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#68. Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?"
"In every way that I can" said Nutt.
"I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly.
He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?"
There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who immediately cupped his hand over his mouth. "Oh I do beg your pardon," he said. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#69. Being a buisance is not something you should die of. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#70. Actors had a habit of filling all the space around them. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#71. Oh, that's just Thud! That's easy!" yapped a voice.
Both men turned to look at Horsefry, who had been made perky by sheer relief.
"I used to play it when I was a kid," he burbled. It's boring. The dwarfs always win!"
Gilt and Vetinari shared a look. It said: While I loathe you and every aspect of your personal philosophy to a depth unplummable by any line, I'll credit you at least with not being Crispin Horsefry. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#72. Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#73. The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and unpleasant disease. I last saw him at a Discworld convention, where he chose to take part in a game as an assassin. He died not long afterwards, and I wish I had his fortitude and sense of style. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#74. If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#75. Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#76. That was messages without meaning: telepathy without brains. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#77. Students, eh? Love 'em or hate 'em, you can't hit them with a shovel! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#78. It would be a very accurate historian who could pinpoint the precise day when the Japanese changed from being fiendish automatons who copied everything from the West, to becoming skilled and cunning engineers who would leave the West standing. But the Wasabi had been designed on that one confused day, and combined the traditional bad points of most Western cars with a host of innovative disasters the avoidance of which had made firms like Honda and Toyota what they were today. Newt #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#79. On the other hand the Nac Mac Feegle were always looking for a fight, in a cheerful sort of way, and when they had no one to fight they fought one another, and if one was all by himself he'd kick his own nose just to keep in practice. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#80. You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#81. Nanny Ogg gave this the same consideration as would a nuclear physicist who'd just been told that someone was banging two bits of sub-critical uranium together to keep warm. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#82. The only superstition I have is that I must start a new book on the same day that I finish the last one, even if it's just a few notes in a file. I dread not having work in progress. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#83. It was the kind of storm that suggests the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#84. THERE IS NO JUSTICE" said Death "JUST ME #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#85. no matter how far you travelled, you couldn't leave behind the fears and regrets and grievances that cluttered up the cargo hold of your mind. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#86. If you told humans what the future held, it wouldn #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#87. It was quite impossible to describe.
Here is what it looked like.
It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#88. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry saber-toothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying "What a magnificent brute!" and "Here, pussy. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#89. Life is addictive. If people complain overmuch, I think I will have to draw that fact to their attention. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#90. The Death of the Disc was a traditionalist who prided himself on his personal service and spent most of the time being depressed because this was not appreciated. He would point out that no one feared death itself, just pain and separation and oblivion, and that it was quite unreasonable to take against someone just because he had empty eye sockets and a quiet pride in his work. He still used a scythe, he'd point out, while the Deaths of other worlds had long ago invested in combine harvesters. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#91. Look, how about this? Let's pretend we've had the row and I've won. See? It saves a lot of effort. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#92. Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#93. Only Granny Weatherwax really knew Granny Weatherwax. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#94. And now, because of a song, Vimes, a simple piece of music, Vimes, soft as a breath, stranger than a mountain, some very powerful states have agreed to work together to heal the problems of another autonomous state and, almost as collateral, turn some animals into people at a stroke. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#95. Nanny Ogg was an attractive lady, which is not the same as being beautiful. She fascinated Casanunda. She was an incredibly comfortable person to be around, partly because she had a mind so broad it could accommodate three football fields and a bowling alley. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#96. She was quivering with self-importance, like a small enraged football. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#97. Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead, #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#98. I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.' #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#99. It is a mystery,' said Detritus.
Vimes grinned mirthlessly. It was a mystery. And he didn't like mysteries. Mysteries had a way of getting bigger if you didn't solve them quickly. Mysteries pupped. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#100. It was a stamp. It was a yellowy-green color. It showed - Moist peered - a field of cabbages, with some buildings on the horizon. He sniffed. It smelled of cabbages. Oh, yes. "Printed with cabbage ink and using gum made from broccoli, sir," said Stanley, full of pride. "'A Salute to the Cabbage Industry of the Sto Plains,' sir. I think it might do very well. Cabbages are so popular, sir. You can make so many things out of them!" "Well, I can see that - " "There's cabbage soup, cabbage beer, cabbage fudge, cabbage cake, cream of cabbage - " "Yes, Stanley, I think you - " " - pickled cabbage, cabbage jelly, cabbage salad, boiled cabbage, deep-fried cabbage - " "Yes, but now can - " " - fricassee of cabbage, cabbage chutney, cabbage Surprise, sausages - " "Sausages?" "Filled with cabbage, sir. You can make practically anything with cabbage, sir. Then there's - " "Cabbage stamps," said Moist terminally. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#101. The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#102. This is so inconvenient. But there is no doubt." She paused for a moment and said: "I will die the day after tomorrow. On Friday, just before half past six in the morning." It was an impressive statement, and did not deserve this reply: "Oh, that's a shame, tae be missin' the weekend like that," said Rob Anybody. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#103. Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#104. Wizards don't like philosophy very much. As far as they are concerned, one hand clapping makes a noise like cl. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#105. Vitoller always waved his arms when he spoke; if you tied his hands behind his back he would be dumb. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#106. Only Ron's dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look.
A couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. ( ... ) The dog in front of William didn't look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#107. Well, got any relish?" "No, ma'am." "Tomato ketchup?" "No, ma'am." "And they call this a gormay paradise, #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#108. It was the sort of noise that makes the silence that comes after it roll forward like a warm avalanche. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#109. It's all about balance, do you see? Balance is the trick. Keep the balance and - " she stopped. "You've ridden on a seesaw? One end goes up, one end goes down. But the bit in the middle, that stays where it is. Upness and downness go right through it. Don't matter how high or low the ends go, it keeps the balance." She sniffed. "Magic is mostly movin' stuff around. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#110. They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is going to be hanged. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#111. I have to ask, sir ... Why does it have to be done like this?"
Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?"
"Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots."
"Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#112. Teppic stared into his wine mug. These men are philosophers, he thought. They had told him so. So their brains must be so big that they have room for ideas that no-one else would consider for five seconds. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#113. Like many people of limited intellectual scope, Snouty did take what he could do very seriously. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#114. There's that lovely thing for the first month or two of writing a new book: OK, I don't know what that character's going to do, but we'll find out later. After about three or four months you come to that bit where you've got to put some plot in before it's too late, and you have to go back and start inserting plot, and, ooh, I've left out the literature, OK, lets put some in. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#115. Imagination, not intelligence, made us human. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#116. The first draft is just you telling yourself the story. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#117. He rather liked people. It was a major failing in a demon. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#118. This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn't just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#119. ...true style comes from innate cunning and mendacity. You can't buy it. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#120. When in doubt, choose to live. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#121. Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#122. Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel
merely terribly, terribly good at his job. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#123. Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#124. I read the 'Old Testament' all the way through when I was about 13 and was horrified. A few months afterwards I read 'The Origin Of Species', hallucinating very mildly because I was in bed with flu at the time. Despite that, or because of that, it all made perfect sense. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#125. On the other hand, Teatime's corkscrew of a mind was exactly the tool to deal with something like this. And if he didn't ... well, that was hardly Downey's fault, was it? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#126. O: You're quite a writer. You've a gift for language, you're a deft hand at plotting, and your books seem to have an enormous amount of attention to detail put into them. You're so good you could write anything. Why write fantasy?

Pratchett: I had a decent lunch, and I'm feeling quite amiable. That's why you're still alive. I think you'd have to explain to me why you've asked that question.

O: It's a rather ghettoized genre.

P: This is true. I cannot speak for the US, where I merely sort of sell okay. But in the UK I think every book - I think I've done twenty in the series - since the fourth book, every one has been one the top ten national bestsellers, either as hardcover or paperback, and quite often as both. Twelve or thirteen have been number one. I've done six juveniles, all of those have nevertheless crossed over to the adult bestseller list. On one occasion I had the adult best seller, the paperback best-seller in a different title, and a third book on the juvenile bestseller list. Now tell me again that this is a ghettoized genre.

O: It's certainly regarded as less than serious fiction.

P: (Sighs) Without a shadow of a doubt, the first fiction ever recounted was fantasy. Guys sitting around the campfire - Was it you who wrote the review? I thought I recognized it - Guys sitting around the campfire telling each other stories about the gods who made lightning, and stuff like that. They did not tell one another #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#127. A banker? Me?"
"Yes, Mr. Lipwig."
"But I don't know anything about running a bank!"
"Good. No preconceived ideas."
"I've robbed banks!"
"Capital! Just reverse your thinking," said Lord Vetinari, beaming. "The money should be on the inside. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#128. The sublords of Hell trembled. This was going to be dreadful. It might even result in a memo. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#129. It's like that in the Watch, too." said Angua. "You can be any sex you like provided you act male. There's no men and women in the Watch, just a bunch of lads. You'll soon learn the language. Basically it's how much beer you supped last night, how strong the curry was you had afterwards, and where you were sick. Just think egotesticle. You'll soon get the hang of it. And you'll have to be prepared for sexually explicit jokes in the Watch House. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#130. You'll get into dreadful trouble and it won't be my fault. You are bad people. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#131. One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#132. Believe it. That was the way. Never stop believing. Fool the eye, fool the brain. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#133. The only appropriate state of mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of heart is joy. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#134. Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron? Goodie Whemper's curiosity about such things was huge and insatiable*.
* Nearly insatiable. It was probably satiated in her last flight to test whether a broomstick could survive having its bristles pulled out one by one in mid-air. According to the small black raven she had trained as a flight recorder, the answer was almost certainly no. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#135. The four lesser apocalyptical horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance, and Shouting took control of the room, #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#136. History records a great many foolish comments, such as, "it looks perfectly safe," or "Indians? What Indians?" and Dogger added to the list with an old favourite which has caused more encyclopedias and life insurance policies to be sold than you would have thought possible.
"I suppose," he said, "that you'd better come in. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#137. This is how we always feel, she thought. We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake? Someone #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#138. When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#139. The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#140. Does it matter if you get the presents anyway? she said, making a direct appeal to greed. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#141. There were really only four kind of people in the world: men and women and wizards and witches. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#142. She considered that the future was a frail enough thing at best, and if people looked at it hard they changed it. Granny had some quite complex theories about space and time #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#143. Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. They had three grown-up children, all born, Vimes had assumed, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#144. Some people say you achieve immortality through your children," said the minstrel.
"Yeah?" said Cohen. "Name one of your great-granddads, then. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#145. Oh, aye, it's grand! Last week I saw Swan on a Hot Tin Lake, a reinterpretation of a traditional theme by one of our up-and-coming young performance artists; and the day after that, of course, there was a reworking of Die Flabbergast at the Opera House; and ye ken, they had a whole week of porcelain at the Royal Art Museum, with a free thimble of sherry. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#146. And squabbling was de rigueur in Fairyland - not even cats were as bad.* #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#147. She sniffed, and smiled a bit, but not too much because if there is one thing worse than someone who doesn't understand you it's someone who understands perfectly, before you've had a chance to have a good pout about not being understood. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#148. Drought-struck farmers pray for rain, in the express hope that the universe or owner thereof will hear the words and suspense the laws of meteorology for their benefit. Some, of course, actually believe just that, and for all anyone can prove they could be right. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#149. A man can learn all of an opponent's weaknesses on that board,' said Gilt.
'Really?' said Vetinari, raising his eyebrows. 'Should not he be trying to learn his own? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#150. Vimes had once discussed the Ephebian idea of 'democracy' with Carrot, and had been rather interested in the idea that everyone had a vote until he found out that while he, Vimes, would have a vote, there was no way in the rules that anyone could prevent Nobby Nobbs from having one as well. Vimes could see the flaw there straight away. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#151. There are fewer metaphors around than people think. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#152. Mort glanced sideways at the top of Ysabell's dress, which contained enough puppy fat for two litters of Rottweilers, and forbore to comment. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#153. It was the heart of any scam or fiddle
keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#154. There are many horrible sights in the multiverse. Somehow, though, to a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.
Someone had stolen a book. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#155. RIGHT, he said, PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS. I'M GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME, FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE. Rincewind grabbed Twoflower and pulled #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#156. I'm afraid they're not very well-designed creatures, dragons."
Vimes listened.
"They would never have survived at all except that their home swamps were isolated and short of predators. Not that a dragon made good eating,
anyway-once you'd taken away the leathery skin and the enormous flight muscles, what was left must have been like biting into a badly-run chemical factory. No wonder dragons were always ill. They relied on permanent stomach trouble for supplies of fuel. Most of their brain power was taken up with controlling the complexities of then-digestion, which could distill flame-producing fuels from the most unlikely ingredients. They could even rearrange their internal plumbing overnight to deal with difficult processes. They lived on a chemical knife-edge the whole time. One misplaced hiccup and they were geography.
And when it came to choosing nesting sites, the females had all the common sense and mothering instinct of a brick."
Vimes wondered why people had been so worried about dragons in the olden days. If there was one in a cave near you, all you had to do was wait until it self-ignited, blew itself up, or died of acute indigestion. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#157. All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need ... fantasies to make life bearable."
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little - "
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET - Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME ... SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point - "
MY POINT EXACTLY. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#158. Granny Weatherwas was not a jouster in the lists of love, but, as an intelligent onlooker, she knew how the game was played. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#159. And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#160. Nanny just tended to put a hot poultice on everything and recommend a large glass of whatever the patient liked best on the basis that since you were going to be ill anyway you might as well get some enjoyment out of it. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#161. Don't trust the cannibal just 'cos he's usin' a knife and fork! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#162. And they were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#163. You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#164. You know it's going to be Mary the Maid, or someone like her, and there's going to be two men and she will end up with the nice one, and there has to be misunderstandings, and they never do anything more than kiss and it's absolutely guaranteed that, for example, an exciting civil war or an invasion by trolls or even a scene with any cooking in it is not going to happen. The best you can expect is a thunderstorm. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#165. That's not fair, you know. If we knew when we were going to die, people would lead better lives.
IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIVE AT ALL. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#166. But what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#167. It was amazing, this mystic business. You tell them a lie, and then when you don't need it anymore you tell them another lie and tell them they're progressing along the road to wisdom. Then instead of laughing they follow you even more, hoping that at the heart of all the lies they'll find the truth. And bit by bit they accept the unacceptable. Amazing. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#168. Land, I quite like land, it's one of my favorite things for standing on. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#169. I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol.
"That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#170. Politics was like those little wooden sliding-picture games for children: you had to move all of the pieces in the hope of finding a place where the whole picture slotted together. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#171. This is no way to treat a book," he said. "Look, he's bent the spine right back. People always do that, they've got no idea of how to treat them. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#172. Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#173. There's a kind of magic in masks. Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that only comes out in darkness. I bet you could do just what you liked, behind a mask ... ? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#174. Whatever you choose, your choice will mean there are two new worlds. And perhaps sometimes, on the edge of sleep, we will see the shadow of the other world. There will be no unhappy memories. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#175. That's what'll happen to you if you don't eat your greens; she looked like a famine-relief poster with style. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#176. Certain things have to happen before other things. Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board, and look all over the place for the dice. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#177. Firstly," said Ponder, "Mr Pessimal wants to know what we do here."
"Do? We are the premier college of magic!" said Ridcully.
"But do we teach?"
"Only if no alternative presents itself," said the Dean. "We show 'em where the library is, give 'em a few little chats, and graduate the survivors. If they run into any problems, my door is always metaphorically open."
"Metaphorically, sir?" said Ponder.
"Yes. But technically, of course, it's locked."
"Explain to him that we don't do things, Stibbons," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. "We are academics. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#178. No real sunrise could paint the sky Surgical Appliance Pink. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#179. You run away a lot," said one of the voices. "That is good. You are a survivor." "Survivor? I've nearly been killed dozens of times!" "Exactly. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#180. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A ... A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#181. According to the history books, the decisive battle that ended the Ankh-Morpork Civil War was fought between two handfuls of bone-weary men in a swamp early one misty morning and, although one side claimed victory, ended with a practical score of Humans 0, ravens 1,000, which is the case with most battles. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#182. There's nothing more terrible than someone out to do the world a favor. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#183. Do you know how wizards like to be buried?"
"Yes!"
"Well, how?"
Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs.
"Reluctantly. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#184. It is well known that any drive to reduce paperwork only results in extra paperwork #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#185. Sometimes the only thing you could do for people was to be there. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#186. As far as Death was aware, the sole reason for any human association with pigs and lambs was as a prelude to chops and sausages. Quite why they should dress up for children's wallpaper as well was a mystery. Hello, little folk, this is what you're going to eat ... He felt that if only he could find the key to it, he'd know a lot more about human beings. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#187. Triboplasts played a crucial role in evolution, precisely because they did have internal organs, and in particular they could ingest food and excrete it. Their excreta became a major resource for other creatures; to get an interestingly complicated world, it is vitally important that shit happens. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#188. All this good fortune, all this fierce joy ... it was wrong. Surely the universe could not allow this amount of happiness in one man, not without presenting a bill. Somewhere a big dark wave was cresting, and when it broke over his head it would wash everything away. Some days, he was sure he could hear its distant roar ... #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#189. I don't believe in the war god of the Israelites. He's a bogeyman. Jesus preached the golden rule, by and large. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#190. Now, as Crowley would be the first to protest, most demons weren't deep down evil. In the great cosmic game they felt they occupied the same position as tax inspectors - doing an unpopular job, maybe, but essential to the overall operation of the whole thing. If it came to that, some angels weren't paragons of virtue; Crowley had met one or two who, when it came to righteously smiting the ungodly, smote a good deal harder than was strictly necessary. On the whole, everyone had a job to do, and just did it. And on the other hand, you got people like Ligur and Hastur, who took such a dark delight in unpleasantness you might even have mistaken them for human. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#191. I THINK PERHAPS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED "LIVING." WOULD YOU LIKE A PRAWN? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#192. Magic never dies. It merely fades away. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#193. Every society needs a cry like that, but only in a very few do they come out with the complete, unvarnished version, which is "Remember-The-Atrocity-Committed-Against-Us-Last-Time-That-Will-Excuse-The-Atrocity-That-We're-About-To-Commit-Today! And So On! Hurrah! #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#194. Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the wood, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#195. Rob Anybody clearly noticed this, because he turned to his brother and said, "Ye will bring tae mind, brother o' mine, that there was times when ye should stick your head up a duck's bottom rather than talk?" Daft Wullie looked down at his feet. "Sorry, Rob. I couldna find a duck just noo. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#196. ...Greyhald Spold knows that Death is looking for him, and has spent many years designing an impregnable hiding place.
He has just set the complicated clockwork of the lock and shut the lid, lying back in the knowledge that here at last is the perfect defence against the most ultimate of all his enemies, although as yet he has not considered the important part that airholes must play in an enterprise of this kind.
And right beside him, very lose to his ear, a voice has just said: DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT? #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#197. You know, sometimes I envy you. It must be nice to be a wolf. Just for a while." "It has its drawbacks." Like fleas, she thought, as they locked up the museum. And the food. And the constant nagging feeling that you should be wearing three bras at once. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#198. A witch relied too much on words ever to go back on them. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#199. Occasionally he would very nearly swear. #Quote by Terry Pratchett
Pratchett quotes by Terry Pratchett
#200. Rincewind had in any case seen his past life flash in front of his eyes so many times that he could sleep through the boring bits. #Quote by Terry Pratchett

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