Offshore Girlfriend Quotes

#1. My girlfriend said: 'If you loved me you wouldn't drink so much', I said: 'If I didn't drink so much I probably wouldn't love you'. #Quote by Gary Mule Deer

#2. A girlfriend went on a couple of dates with a guy who criticized the color of her nail polish. She said, "The suggestion department is closed for the evening, but fax your idea tomorrow and we'll file it right over there in the suggestion box." (Then she pointed to the kitchen trash.) #Quote by Sherry Argov

#3. Being a decathlete is like having ten girlfriends. You have to love them all, and you can't afford losing one. #Quote by Daley Thompson

#4. Think carefully about whom you model yourself after, because that's how your date - and the world will see you. And it is how you will come to see yourself. Who you are as a girlfriend is a harbinger of who you will be as a wife. Consider comporting yourself with the dignity, grace, and elegance of Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, or Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. These were women of outstanding character, beloved by all and desired by men of substance. #Quote by Susan Patton

#5. I never broke up with my girlfriends, they broke up with me. #Quote by Manny Pacquiao

#6. Simon hid the fact that he was inordinately pleased by this. "Are we officially boyfriend
and girlfriend? Is there a Shadowhunter ritual? Should I change my Facebook status from 'it's complicated' to 'in a relationship'?"
Isabelle screwed up her nose adorably. "You have a book that's also a face? #Quote by Cassandra Clare

#7. The United States and Arizona are both losing jobs to offshore locations. #Quote by Janet Napolitano

#8. I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans. #Quote by Jarod Kintz

#9. Archer isn't hot anymore ... He tried to kill me, and his girlfriend is Satan. #Quote by Rachel Hawkins

#10. You know how on Christmas day, the day feels different, even if you're just sitting in your chair waiting for your girlfriend to put her face on and you haven't even started any of the festivities yet, the day still feels different. The electrons are fatter and pushier. #Quote by Bill Callahan

#11. Can't he be lonely and unbalanced around someone else's girlfriend? #Quote by Kiersten White

#12. When we weren't dancing or fucking, we were marching. Marching for the Sandinistas and against Nicaraguan strongman Somoza. Marching for the Filipino people and against the dictator Ferdinand Marcos. Marching in solidarity with the people of Chile and against the murderous General Pinochet. Marching against nuclear power and offshore oil drilling. Marching for equal pay for women in the US and against apartheid in South Africa. #Quote by Cleve Jones

#13. The Greens have not been providing you with the full information about where their money comes from or what it's about. I think the Greens in this upcoming state election should resign if they're being funded by an offshore political power. It's tantamount to treason and something needs to be done about it. #Quote by Clive Palmer

#14. I'm really annoyed by the wave of country music that's just a list of stuff. It almost sounds like L.A. people writing country music, because it's just a list of stuff: 'My pickup truck and my cowboy boots and my Levi's jeans and my girlfriend with the short shorts.' It's so boring! #Quote by Kathleen Hanna

#15. I left my parents' home when I was 22, I moved to New York with my ex-girlfriend. We did a film together with Raul Julia. #Quote by Demian Bichir

#16. All right. I will be a man about this…I'm so sorry Bets. I should have hidden the keys. Booted your tires. Something. I had no idea anyone would abuse you so, baby. I swear I'll never let anyone hurt you again. Ayyy, how could they do this to you? How? Oh the humanity!" – Andy
"I really need to get that boy a girlfriend- or at least laid." – Sundown #Quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon

#17. OK.So beside the possible extended lietime you live a normal human life? You what ... you have an apartment in LA? A life? A car? A girlfriend?" she threw in.
"Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.No."
Ari grunted."We're back to one word answers?"
"Yes. #Quote by Samantha Young

#18. When you're 17 in the suburbs and know only three gay people, holding hands with your girlfriend is a proclamation. #Quote by Mary Lambert

#19. When new cooks come to work for me, they obviously make mistakes at the beginning or there's some messiness to the presentation. What I always say to them is: 'If you were cooking this for your mother or your girlfriend, would you make those mistakes?' #Quote by Joel Robuchon

#20. According to FBI statistics for 2008, only 22 percent of murder victims were killed by strangers. More than 30 percent were slain by family members, boyfriends, and girlfriends. Nearly half of all murders were committed by friends, neighbors, and casual acquaintances. #Quote by Alafair Burke

#21. 'Vogue' is the best of everything that fashion can offer, and I think we point the way. We are, you know, a glamorous girlfriend. #Quote by Anna Wintour

#22. Acting has been the only thing so far that really gets me jazzed. It's like my girlfriend in a lot of ways. We fight. We have a relationship, and she gets me up every morning. I'm inspired by it, and I want to one day be really good at it and see what we can do together. #Quote by Eddie Cahill

#23. I was always the hero's girlfriend or wife - actually, the woman with no voice. #Quote by Maggie Cheung

#24. I really think I need to find a home. I don't know if that includes a girlfriend or not, but first I need to find a home, definitely. #Quote by Jens Lekman

#25. Where are you going?"
"Uh," said Kami, eyeballing her wildly. "I'm going to buy some drugs."
Lillian stared. "I beg your pardon?"
"This is a really stressful time for everyone," said Kami. "So I thought maybe I could buy a little weed, take the edge off. I might be a while. This is a very clean-living town, apart from all the murders, so I don't actually know any drug dealers. I realize Jared kind of looks like one, but he's not, which is a shame because I think the drug dealer's girlfriend gets her drugs free."
"I realize you are attempting to be humorous," said Lillian, after a pause during which she stared some more. "I don't understand it."
"Hey, you're not the only family with a legacy. 'Glass' rhymes with 'sass.' Have you met my dad?"
"I have had that dubious pleasure," said Lillian. "He is, in fact, meant to be meeting me in order to, and I quote, 'teach me to integrate better with society, display leadership skills, win over the populace, and stop acting like a robot princess from space.' I admit that the humor in his humor escapes me as well." She paused and suddenly looked determined. "I'm going to start without him. #Quote by Sarah Rees Brennan

#26. I may not have seen my girlfriend for two or three months, but then we can spend two or three months together solidly. It's swings and roundabouts. #Quote by Douglas Booth

#27. She was a source of love and comfort and friendship and companionship and like-mindedness without any of the difficulties of a girlfriend #Quote by Anthony Kiedis

#28. There's no protocol on how to console your girlfriend of four years who you just met this morning. #Quote by Colleen Hoover

#29. An ex-girlfriend once got upset when I told her that music is the most important thing in my life. It's more important than anyone else could ever be. I don't want to be overly dramatic and say it's the only thing that gets me up and keeps me going. But people in your life come and go. As you go through your life, you make friendships, you break friendships, you have relationships. Music is the one thing I've always been able to rely on. #Quote by Ben Gibbard

#30. While you're playing yourself out in lonesome dissipation in front of a pinball machine, someone else might be reading through Proust. Still another might be engaged in heavy petting with a girlfriend at a drive-in theater showing of Paths of Courage. The one could well become a writer, witness to the age; the others, a happily married couple. Pinball machines, however, won't lead you anywhere.
Just the replay light. Replay, replay, replay ... #Quote by Haruki Murakami

#31. I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips ... I'm twisted.
Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress. #Quote by Ab-Soul

#32. I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair.
"Which one?" He asked.
"I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends."
"Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend? #Quote by Lauren Kate

#33. She's the kind of girl any guy would want to have as a girlfriend."
"Sucks a mean dick?"
"Stop."
"Loves anal in the morning?"
"Max! #Quote by Molly O'Keefe

#34. Sometimes you have to leave someone special without any reason, Sometimes you can't leave the person with thousands of reason to leave #Quote by Sid

#35. Mitch had a seventh-grade girlfriend? Play on, player. #Quote by Rainbow Rowell

#36. Sookie: Hey, our hair's the same color.
Eric: Sure is, Girlfriend. #Quote by Charlaine Harris

#37. Music is my wife, and acting is my girlfriend. #Quote by Mark Salling

#38. Well let me tell you what [High School Musical] is really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved. You have to get stoned to watch it. #Quote by Megan Fox

#39. Haters call me 'gay,' but their girlfriends want me more than them. #Quote by Justin Bieber

#40. When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't. #Quote by Danica Patrick

#41. Good gravy on biscuits, girlfriend, you are in the middle of more messes than a platter of scrambled eggs. What's going on? Are the planets aligned funny? Or is that unaligned? Shoot, I have no idea. But I need to know what's going on. You and I will be going out for coffee in about thirty seconds. #Quote by Paige Shelton

#42. True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend #Quote by Luke Wilson

#43. My girlfriend says I'm fat #Quote by Kevin Ma

#44. In high school for prom, I asked my girlfriend - we were both into horror movies - by dressing up as a zombie. I had a bloody t-shirt and I spray-painted a giant question mark on my t-shirt and had people hold bloody sings saying, 'Dying to go to prom with you.' #Quote by Justice Smith

#45. But when I look back at myself at age twenty what I remember most is being alone and lonely. I had no girlfriend to warm my body or my soul, no friends I could open up to. No clue what I should do every day, no vision for the future. For the most part, I remained hidden away, deep within myself. Sometimes I'd go a week without talking to anybody. That kind of life continued for a year. A long, long year. Whether this period was a cold winter that left valuable growth rings inside me, I can't really say. At the time I felt as if every night I, too, were gazing out a porthole at a moon made of ice. A transparent, eight-inch-thick, frozen moon. But I watched that moon alone, unable to share its cold beauty with anyone. #Quote by Haruki Murakami

#46. I think most people would struggle to define their whole relationship with just one label - like: my girlfriend, boyfriend, brother, sister, confidantes, whatever - but in those moments, there's true joy in each other. #Quote by Rhea Seehorn