Humor President Quotes

Top 43 famous quotes & sayings about Humor President.

Famous Quotes About Humor President

Here are best 43 famous quotes about Humor President that you can use to show your feeling, share with your friends and post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and blogs. Enjoy your day & share your thoughts with perfect pictures of Humor President quotes.

Humor President quotes by Lyndon B. Johnson
#1. If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read President Can't Swim. #Quote by Lyndon B. Johnson
Humor President quotes by Arthur Hailey
#2. The president of General Motors was in a foul humor. #Quote by Arthur Hailey
Humor President quotes by George Carlin
#3. In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. #Quote by George Carlin
Humor President quotes by Robin Williams
#4. We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself. #Quote by Robin Williams
Humor President quotes by Suzanne Collins
#5. Caesar Flickerman asks if the president has a date in mind.
"Oh, before we set a date, we better clear it with Katniss's mother," says the president. The audience gives a big laugh and the president puts his arm around me. "Maybe if the whole country puts its mind to it, we can get you married before you're thirty."
"You'll probably have to pass a new law," I say with a giggle.
"If that's what it takes," says the president with conspiratorial good humor.
Oh, the fun we two have together. #Quote by Suzanne Collins
Humor President quotes by Julia Roberts
#6. The man's [Bush] embarrassing. He's not my president and he never will be either. #Quote by Julia Roberts
Humor President quotes by Groucho Marx
#7. Humor is reason gone mad. #Quote by Groucho Marx
Humor President quotes by Joe Biden
#8. No foreign policy can be sustained in the United States of America without the informed consent of the American people. And informed means just that, successes and failure, a realistic assessment of where we are and what the president plans to do about it. #Quote by Joe Biden
Humor President quotes by Daven Anderson
#9. I hate it when I go into a Snack Shack and they're out of Blue Ice. The other slushie flavors taste like cheap candy. #Quote by Daven Anderson
Humor President quotes by J.R.R. Tolkien
#10. No one, I fancy, would discredit a story that the Archbishop of Canterbury slipped on a banana skin merely because he found that a similar comic mishap had been reported of many people, and especially of elderly gentlemen of dignity. #Quote by J.R.R. Tolkien
Humor President quotes by John Duover
#11. My dick's wisdom impeded my ability to have meaningless intercourse. #Quote by John Duover
Humor President quotes by Laurie Halse Anderson
#12. To keep up appearances, I stomp my room and slam the door. #Quote by Laurie Halse Anderson
Humor President quotes by Robyn Peterman
#13. Do Dragons eat Mexican?" Hank wondered out loud.
"Dude, they eat people. Mexican is a vast improvement over people. #Quote by Robyn Peterman
Humor President quotes by Bob Thurber
#14. A new day always forgives you, unless it's raining and you wake up in jail. #Quote by Bob Thurber
Humor President quotes by Elizabeth S. Rolph
#15. For some the journey of highschool was probably pleasent or easy like swimming down a stream or walking down the street, but for me it was like climbing up a muddy hill ... while its raining ... with no shoes. #Quote by Elizabeth S. Rolph
Humor President quotes by Marilyn Monroe
#16. President Kennedy is very democratic and very penetrating. #Quote by Marilyn Monroe
Humor President quotes by Roddy Doyle
#17. It's the only thing sexier than a sexy woman. A sexy woman cooking fuckin' sausages. #Quote by Roddy Doyle
Humor President quotes by Jay Leno
#18. Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he detected and nominated American tax evaders. #Quote by Jay Leno
Humor President quotes by Freeman Dyson
#19. So long as you have courage and a sense of humor, it is never too late to start life afresh. #Quote by Freeman Dyson
Humor President quotes by Gerald R. Ford
#20. I am acutely aware that you have not elected me as your President by your ballots, so I ask you to confirm me with your prayers. #Quote by Gerald R. Ford
Humor President quotes by Ann Brashares
#21. He was a caricature of a caricature of a loser. #Quote by Ann Brashares
Humor President quotes by Anurag Shourie
#22. The pain of an unpublished manuscript is akin to the trauma of bearing an unborn. #Quote by Anurag Shourie
Humor President quotes by Peter Schiff
#23. In a speech at the just-concluded G20 summit in London, President Obama urged Americans not to let their fears crimp their spending. It would be unwise, he argued, for Americans to let the fear of job loss, lack of savings, unpaid bills, credit card debt or student loans deter them from making major purchases. According to the president, 'we must spend now as an investment for the future' ... instead of saving for the future, we must spend for the future. #Quote by Peter Schiff
Humor President quotes by David Letterman
#24. Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator. #Quote by David Letterman
Humor President quotes by Thea Harrison
#25. Sophie don't do nothing Sophie don't want. #Quote by Thea Harrison
Humor President quotes by Bill Cosby
#26. Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. #Quote by Bill Cosby
Humor President quotes by H.L. Mencken
#27. When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. #Quote by H.L. Mencken
Humor President quotes by Leon Panetta
#28. She is smart. She is principled. She is tough, and she is ready. Hillary is the single most experienced and prepared person who has ever run for president. #Quote by Leon Panetta
Humor President quotes by Nenia Campbell
#29. All lines are gray in the dark. #Quote by Nenia Campbell
Humor President quotes by Erica Goros
#30. My acupuncturist once told me that it doesn't have to hurt to work. She might have meant the needles, but I think she really meant love. #Quote by Erica Goros
Humor President quotes by Richelle Mead
#31. We could, you know, go out for hot dogs. Don't worry - they're not actually dogs. It's just a name. They're these meat things that you put on buns - that's a kind of bread - and then you top them with other things and - "

"I know what a hot dog is," interrupted Mark.

"You do?" I asked, legitimately surprised. "How?"

"We're not that remote. We have TV and movies. Besides, I've left Siberia, you know. I've been to the U.S."

"Really? Did you try a hot dog?"

"No," he said. "I was offered one … but it didn't look that appetizing."

"What!" I exclaimed. "Blasphemy. They're delicious."

"Aren't they compressed animal parts?" he pushed.

"Well, yeah… I think so. But so is sausage."

Mark shook his head. "I don't know. Something's just not right about a hot dog."

"Not right? I think you mean so right. #Quote by Richelle Mead
Humor President quotes by Jane Austen
#32. But in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable. #Quote by Jane Austen
Humor President quotes by Lucy Wadham
#33. ... zebra crossings were rather like Bosnia's "safe zones": places where, if you die, you may simply die with the knowledge that your killer was in the wrong. #Quote by Lucy Wadham
Humor President quotes by Rudyard Kipling
#34. Mad! Quite mad!' said Stalky to the visitors, as one exhibiting strange beasts. 'Beetle reads an ass called Brownin', and M'Turk reads an ass called Ruskin; and-'
'Ruskin isn't an ass,' said M'Turk. 'He's almost as good as the Opium-Eater. He says we're "children of noble races, trained by surrounding art." That means me, and the way I decorated the study when you two badgers would have stuck up brackets and Christmas cards. Child of a noble race, trained by surrounding art, stop reading or I'll shove a pilchard down your neck! #Quote by Rudyard Kipling
Humor President quotes by Roel Hollander
#35. The truth is schizophrenic and has as many faces as there are people. #Quote by Roel Hollander
Humor President quotes by Gail Carriger
#36. My dearest girl,' said the vampire finally, examining Lord Maccon with an exhausted but appreciative eye, 'such a banquet. Never been one to favor werewolves myself, but he is very well equipped, now, is he not?'
Miss Tarabotti gave him an arch look. 'My goodies,' she warned.
Humans,' chuckled the vampire, 'so possessive. #Quote by Gail Carriger
Humor President quotes by Beryl Bainbridge
#37. Some people find it comfortable to go through life on their knees, and good luck to them, but I prefer to keep my spine in the position nature intended. #Quote by Beryl Bainbridge
Humor President quotes by Henny Youngman
#38. I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race ... #Quote by Henny Youngman
Humor President quotes by Mel Brooks
#39. I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. #Quote by Mel Brooks
Humor President quotes by Steven Wright
#40. I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open. #Quote by Steven Wright
Humor President quotes by J. Richard Singleton
#41. The truth is like sunlight: It causes cancer. #Quote by J. Richard Singleton
Humor President quotes by Mitt Romney
#42. We expect candor and transparency from the president, from the administration. #Quote by Mitt Romney
Humor President quotes by Ilona Andrews
#43. Is he a scumbag in training?" Richard glanced at the gunman. "At least have the decency to hold the gun properly, you fool. If you don't know how, pass it to someone who does. I'm not going to suffer being shot at by anything less than a full- fledged lowlife. (Richard) #Quote by Ilona Andrews

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