Friend Getting Married Funny Quotes

Top 30 famous quotes & sayings about Friend Getting Married Funny.

Famous Quotes About Friend Getting Married Funny

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Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Ella Dominguez
#1. I won't share you, Dylan. I mean that. If you think for one second now that we're married, you can try and pull some kind of shit over on me, you'd better think again. I can take whatever you can dish out when it comes to pain, embarrassment and humiliation, and whatever else you have going on in that wicked mind of yours, but I'll be damned if I'll share you with another woman. Or man."
What the fuck? I almost laugh at her, but she's so serious she would probably slap the shit out of me. "Calm the hell down. I'm not trying to pull anything over on you, okay? And seriously, a man?"
"Well, I don't know. Maybe one of your secrets is that you like getting pegged in the ass or something."
This time I laugh out loud at her and she narrows her eyes at me.
"Don't ask me to peg you either, because it's never going to happen."
I laugh even louder. Good God this woman is funny. "I promise you that I don't want to be pegged, Isa. #Quote by Ella Dominguez
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Sarah Curtis
#2. Ran into him? Are you not together?"

Cassie shook her head. "No."
Gage contradicted her by saying, "We are. We're getting married."

Cassie leaned into him and hissed. "Would you stop telling people that." She turned back to Sam and gave her a smile. "We're not getting married."

Gage used Cassie's hair to tip her head back again. He leaned over, giving her another kiss before saying, "Sunshine, we are."

Cassie yanked her hair out of his fist and took a step away from him. "Honey limpkins," she said, sarcastically, "we are not. #Quote by Sarah Curtis
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Chelsea Handler
#3. One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern. #Quote by Chelsea Handler
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Ree Drummond
#4. Good morning, Mike," I mumbled, making a beeline for the coffeepot.
"Oooooh!" he teased again. "Someone is getting married tonight! Woooooooo…"
"Yep," I said, taking that first glorious sip of java. "Hard to believe, isn't it?"
Mike put his hand over his mouth and snickered. Then he asked, "So…are you guys gonna do some…some kissin'?"
"I certainly hope so," I said. This only served to make Mike laugh harder.
"Ooooooh!" he squealed. "Are you gonna have a baby?"
Oh, Lord.
I took another hit of Gevalia and answered, "Not today." Mike cracked up again. He was clearly on a roll.
"What's so funny this morning, Mike?" I asked.
"Your s-s-s-stomach is gonna get so fat," he answered. Mike was quickly approaching manic stage--the result of a large, busy weekend and his routine being disrupted. Soon the inevitable crash would come. I just hoped I was on the plane to Australia when it happened. It wasn't going to be pretty.
"Oh, whatever, Mike," I answered, feigning indignation. #Quote by Ree Drummond
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Taya Kyle
#5. Knowing Chris was getting married, his fellow Team members decided that they had to send him off with a proper SEAL bachelor party. That meant getting him drunk, of course. It also meant writing all over him with permanent markers-an indelible celebration, to be sure.
Fortunately, they liked him, so his face wasn't marked up-not by them, at least; he'd torn his eyebrow and scratched his lip during training. Under his clothes, he looked quite the sight. And the words wouldn't come off no matter how he, or I scrubbed.
I pretended to be horrified, but honestly, that didn't bother me much. I was just happy to have him with me, and very excited to be spending the rest of my life with the man I loved.
It's funny, the things you get obsessed about. Days before the wedding, I spent forty-five minutes picking out exactly the right shape of lipstick, splurging on expensive cosmetics-then forgot to take it with me the morning of the wedding. My poor sister and mom had to run to Walgreens for a substitute; they came back with five different shades, not one of which matched the one I'd picked out.
Did it matter? Not at all, although I still remember the vivid marks the lipstick made when I kissed him on the cheek-marking my man.
Lipstick, location, time of day-none of that mattered in the end. What did matter were our families and friends, who came in for the ceremony. Chris liked my parents, and vice versa. I truly loved his mom and dad.
I have a photo from #Quote by Taya Kyle
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Jessica Robertson
#6. Jessica

I first met the man I married at a hair salon. I was going out the door; Jep was going in--for a haircut. Seriously. Nowadays, most of the Robertson men don't get haircuts, but Jep did back then. When our paths crossed that day, we said nothing more than "hi" to each other, just one word.
Jep and I both grew up in West Monroe, Louisiana, and he is two years older than I am. We went to different high schools, but because we lived in a close community, we had heard about each other. He knew who I was, and I knew who he was--and I thought he had a cool name. I had heard good things about him, including, "He's a dream." When our paths crossed at the hair salon and we simply said hello, I had no way of knowing the hairdresser would tell Jep all about me as she cut his hair that day. Both of us had gone to her for years, so she knew us pretty well, and she said really nice things about me to Jep. In fact, she takes credit for getting us together! After we were married I found out that when he left the hair salon that day, he went home and told his best friend, "I just met the girl I'm going to marry."
"What's her name?" his friend asked.
"Jessica," Jep responded. He only knew this because the hairdresser had told him.
"Jessica who?" his friend asked. "What's her last name?"
"I don't know," Jep admitted.
I love the fact that Jep knew he would marry me after only seeing me once. Maybe he did not know my last name, but the next time he #Quote by Jessica Robertson
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by R.L. Mathewson
#7. Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married."
He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words. #Quote by R.L. Mathewson
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by J.D. Robb
#8. Mavis.' He paled a bit. 'Eve, tell me you're not going shopping with Mavis.'
His reaction brightened her mood a little. 'She has this friend. He's a designer.'
'Dear Christ.'
'She says he's mag. Just needs a break to make a name for himself. He has a little workshop in Soho.'
'Let's elope. Now. You look fine.'
Her grin flashed. 'Scared?'
'Terrified.'
'Good. Now we're even.' Delighted to be on level footing, she leaned in and kissed him. 'Now you can worry about what I'll be wearing on the big day for the next few weeks. Gotta go.' She patted his cheek. 'I'm meeting her in twenty minutes.'
'Eve.' Roarke grabbed for her hand. 'You wouldn't do something ridiculous?'
She tugged her way free. 'I'm getting married, aren't I? What could be more ridiculous? #Quote by J.D. Robb
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Lorrie Moore
#9. No, we're not getting married," I told my mother on the phone when she asked. "He's going to California and I'm staying here." Usually she doesn't phone. Usually she just does things like send me notes with histrionic scrawlings that read, "Well, you know, I can't use these," and along with the notes she encloses coupons for Kotex or Midol. #Quote by Lorrie Moore
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Ozzy Osbourne
#10. The funny thing about getting married in America was that we needed to get a blood test before they'd give us a licence. I wouldn't have been surprised if the bloke from the lab had called back and said, 'Mr Osbourne, we appear to have found some blood in your alcohol.' #Quote by Ozzy Osbourne
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Lindsey Kelk
#11. Getting married means you've won, and I hate thinking like that, I do, but let's be honest, that's just how it is. Until you're married, you're a loser, NO MATTER HOW GREAT YOU ARE AT EVERYTHING ELSE. In our super progressive, equal right, modern society, it's the one thing no one wants to say but everyone is thinking, however messed-up it is. #Quote by Lindsey Kelk
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Rodney Carrington
#12. I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things. #Quote by Rodney Carrington
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Ken Follett
#13. Such disappointments, betrayals and reconciliations were the stuff of married life, but she and Jack had gone through them before the wedding. Now, at least, she felt confident that she knew him. Nothing was likely to surprise her. It was a funny way to do things, but it might be better than making your vows first and getting to know your spouse afterward. #Quote by Ken Follett
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Connie Britton
#14. It's funny-my married friends tell me all the time, 'What you have is so much easier.' When you're doing it on your own, you don't have to [argue over] how you're raising the kids. #Quote by Connie Britton
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by David Hoffman
#15. The only problem with getting married is that we can't fornicate anymore. #Quote by David Hoffman
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Nalini Singh
#16. We're getting married in an hour. I already spoke to Nicolai #Quote by Nalini Singh
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Ratan Tata
#17. I came seriously close to getting married four times, and each time I backed off in fear or for one reason or another. Each occasion was different, but in hindsight when I look at the people involved, it wasn't a bad thing what I did. I think it may have been more complex had the marriage taken place. #Quote by Ratan Tata
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Jessica Valenti
#18. Do you think it is fair that guy will make more money doing the same job as you? Does it piss you off and scare you when you find out about your friends getting raped? Do you ever feel like shit about your body? Do you ever feel like something is weong with you because you don't fit into this bizarre ideal of what girls are supposed to be like? Well, my friend, I hate to break it to you, but you're hardcore feminist. I swear. #Quote by Jessica Valenti
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Sara Barnard
#19. There is no enough.' Tarin flicked her indicator on, the clicking noise filling the car as she merged on to the motorway. 'You seem to be forgetting that she's in a clinical facility getting professional help. Which is great, obviously. Let them worry about how to deal with depression. You're going to visit your friend, remember? Yes, she's a patient, but she's not your patient. So for God's sake, don't treat her like one. #Quote by Sara Barnard
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Elizabeth McGovern
#20. Well, when I moved to England I was making a lot of personal adjustments because I was getting married and starting a family, that sort of thing. #Quote by Elizabeth McGovern
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Melanie Gideon
#21. Reasercher 101,
I do not long for the old, unreachable days. When I'm plugged in I can go anywhere, do and learn anything. Today, for instance, I visited a tiny library in Portugal. I learned how the Shakers weave baskets and I discovered my best friend in middle school loves blood-orange sorbet. Okay, I also learned that a certain pop star actually believes she's a fairy, an honest-to-goodness fairy from the fey people, but my point is access. Access to information. I don't even have to look out my window to see what the eather is like. I can have the weather delivered every morning to my phone. What could be better?
Sincerely,
Wife 22
Wife 22,
Getting caught in the rain?
All the best,
Researcher 101 #Quote by Melanie Gideon
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Rosamunde Pilcher
#22. People today expect too much from marriage. Getting married is really like taking on a big new job. #Quote by Rosamunde Pilcher
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Elie Wiesel
#23. Listen to me, kid. Don't forget that you are in a concentration camp. In this place, it is every many for himself, and you cannot think of others. Not even you father. In this place, there is no such thing as father, brother, friend. Each of us lives and dies alone. Let me give you good advice: stop giving your ration of bread and soup to your old father. You cannot help him anymore. And you are hurting yourself. In fact, you should be getting his rations ... #Quote by Elie Wiesel
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by David Niven
#24. Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life. #Quote by David Niven
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Molly Harper
#25. My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa. #Quote by Molly Harper
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Callie Hart
#26. You can't possibly know the depths of my relationship with my boyfriend, of whether I'd marry him."
I lean across the table, "Oh, but I do. I know. I know perfectly well. You might say yes if he asked you. You might even make it to the fucking church on your wedding day. But you know as well as I do that the moment you started to walk down that aisle, you'd see that it was wrong. That you shouldn't do it. Because there's only one man on the face of this planet you should ever be getting married to, and it's sure as shit not Ben the Good Samaritan. It's me. #Quote by Callie Hart
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by J.K. Rowling
#27. Now, Ron, have you cleaned out your room yet?" "Why?" exclaimed Ron, slamming his spoon down and glaring at his mother. "Why does my room have to be cleaned out? Harry and I are fine with it the way it is!" "We are holding your brother's wedding here in a few days' time, young man - " "And are they getting married in my bedroom?" asked Ron furiously. "No! So why in the name of Merlin's saggy left - " "Don't talk to your mother like that," said Mr. Weasley firmly. "And do as you're told. #Quote by J.K. Rowling
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Charles F. Glassman
#28. Try calculating the probability of getting a call from an old friend after just thinking about them. Or, your favorite song coming on the radio just as you turn on the car. Or, you smiling at a stranger, just as they needed to receive a smile. These are the events unexplained by logic, reason, and probability, yet are the foundation and guiding principles of faith. #Quote by Charles F. Glassman
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Melissa Etheridge
#29. I look forward to exercising my American civil liberties and getting fully, completely and legally married this year to my true love of over three years, Linda Wallem, #Quote by Melissa Etheridge
Friend Getting Married Funny quotes by Ann Brashares
#30. Maybe happiness didn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Wearing slippers and watching the Miss Universe contest. Eating a brownie with vanilla ice cream. Getting to level seven in Dragon Master and knowing there were twenty more levels to go.
Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks- the traffic signal that said "Walk" the second you go there- and downticks- the itch tag at the back of your collar- that happened to every person in the course of the day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day.
maybe it didn't matter if you were a world-famous heartthrob or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your friend was possibly dying.
Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for. #Quote by Ann Brashares

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