Doucette Quotes

#1. [W]e took turns removing each other's underwear and I thanked God for twenty-first century clothing. Until you've attempted to undress a Victorian era noblewoman, you can't possibly understand how wonderful a simple pair of cotton briefs is. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#2. The vibration of his cell phone broke his reverie. "Doucette," he answered. "Meet me at the Lamothe House," Sassy replied. "Sassy, I told you I'm not that kind of girl." "Very funny, Mr. Smart Ass. Looks like we have another body." "I'm almost there," Michel said quickly, then hung up. #Quote by David Lennon

#3. (As a side note: I thought money was a bad idea way back when it was first invented. I remember the moment very clearly. This guy owed me a sheep, but instead of giving me an actual sheep he gave me five coins he said were worth the same as a sheep. "But I can't eat round pieces of metal, asshole," were my exact words.) #Quote by Gene Doucette

#4. Impending death makes one run faster. I think that's probably why they fire a gun before track meets. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#5. Religion is still the very best way to get someone to accept something unabashedly ridiculous. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#6. If there's one thing I know, it's that the minute someone feels obligated to tell you not to be afraid of them, that's the time to start being afraid of them. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#7. New York is the one place in the world that actively encourages rudeness, because that's the only way to get past the fake bag carriers, homeless people, newspaper thieves, Jesus freaks, and everyone else who wants something and isn't afraid to ask for it, repeatedly, at close range. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#8. [T]he truth is the percentage of vampires that are also evil killers is about the same as the percentage of normal people who are also evil killers. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#9. (Most jobs I've had have been variations on hunter-gatherer and farmer. I was one of the first to say "Hey, if we grow our own food, we won't have to hunt it down all the time." Mostly, I was just tired of moving around constantly, but you have to admit it was a pretty good idea.) #Quote by Gene Doucette

#10. (A note: succubi are notorious amateur psychologists and have been since well before Freud. In fact I have it on good authority that Freud stole his whole gig from a particularly talkative succubus he used to know. And if you don't believe Freud knew a succubus, you haven't read Freud.) #Quote by Gene Doucette

#11. Karyos's people adopted an ingenious, if somewhat perplexing attitude that life was a circle. Not like Disney's circle of life thing, which was really just a nice way to say, "death is normal, children, so suck it up. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#12. I may have seemed like things quieted down a bit once we all figured out how to farm, because farming begets society and society develops laws, and laws enforce peace in the interest of the greater good. But society is just another kind of tribe and it eventually bumps into a larger one, and there's more violence, only then it's called war. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#13. A point about vampires. They can and do have sex. I've tried it. It's not bad. A little cold, a little dry... it's kind of like screwing a very lively statue. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#14. We are all inexorably wound together as individuals, as families, as communities, and as a society. We must take care to value, accommodate, and, at times, assist the variety and diversity, each unique facet, in the noble work - the blessed art - of family. #Quote by Deborah Doucette

#15. (Very few vampires bother to sleep in a coffin, if you must know. Lugging one around everywhere you go is inconvenient, and it almost always attracts the wrong kind of attention. I did know a vampire who had one, but it was mostly a kinky sex thing for her.) #Quote by Gene Doucette

#16. I'm a pretty sad example of what one should do with eternal life. I've never reached any higher level of consciousness, I don't have access to any great truths, and I've never borne witness to the divine or transcendent. Some of this is just bad luck. Like working in the fishing industry in Galilee and never once running into Jesus. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#17. We just met and we're already doing heroin?" I said. "Seems sudden. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#18. I had seen a photograph of Sara at two. In it, her hair is platinum and falls around her face in happy disarray. She is dressed in yellow. Babyhood clings to her still and in the sunlight she appears incandescent. She is golden and delicious, sweet as a lemon drop. But her father never asks to see her. #Quote by Deborah Doucette

#19. [D]espite the patina of civility coating most of modern society, underneath it is a thick layer of savagery. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#20. Like just about everything else conjured up in the past century, the underground subway system of the modern city is an unfathomable engineering miracle covered in several inches of filth, urine, and spray paint. Despite being a certified member of the human race, I'll never fully understand why miracles of this magnitude are treated so casually. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#21. Morning conversations should be between very close friends or lovers, and otherwise avoided entirely. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#22. ...while there may have been gods, they weren't particularly well defined. If, for instance, something unusually lucky happened, one might declare that a god--pick one--was feeling generous that day. And if a particularly bad thing happened, a god (usually a different one) was upset about something or other. Gods, in other words, were what most of us would now call chance or luck. And in that sense they served their purpose, by making a random existence seem less random. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#23. So, what do I call you?" I asked.

"Whomp."

"Whomp? Your given name?"

"It's the sound people make when I hit them in the chest. #Quote by Gene Doucette

#24. To ward off these disasters, they spent a whole lot of time trying to keep their gods happy via a number of complex rituals, many involving copious amounts of sex ("the gods wish us to have sex" is the oldest pickup line in the world). #Quote by Gene Doucette

#25. I'm actually something of an aficionado in the "waking up in strange places" department. I've woken up in hay lofts, under a buttern churn, on roofs, in a choir loft (twice), under tables, on tables, in trees, in ditches, and half-pinned under a sleeping ox. One time in Bombay, I woke up to find myself lashed to a yak. #Quote by Gene Doucette