Comedian Quotes

#1. Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world. #Quote by David Walliams

#2. A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious. #Quote by Will Rogers

#3. Diane sometimes hears that Troy is an actuary. Sometimes she hears Troy is a florist. Sometimes she hears Troy is a cop, a toll collector, a professor, a musician, a stand-up comedian. Once, she heard a terrible rumor he became a librarian but she could not imagine Troy becoming the darkest of evil beasts no matter what he had done to her. Is it even possible for a human to become a librarian? #Quote by Joseph Fink

#4. Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I was a huge Steve Martin fan, so I really hoped I would get this part. I don't think there was any part in particular that I auditioned for. I just went in and talked with them. There were so many parts in there, and so many comedians ended up getting in that movie, playing different firemen and townspeople. #Quote by Kevin Nealon

#5. If you want to see what stage comedians did to get laffs a century ago, watch the 1910 'Wizard of Oz.' I hope you have a high tolerance for pratfalls. #Quote by Kage Baker

#6. There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian. #Quote by Jim Gaffigan

#7. Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx. #Quote by Chris Rock

#8. As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes. You're all happy at first, but then by the end, you're sick of 'em. #Quote by Mitch Hedberg

#9. I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter. #Quote by Steve Martin

#10. For a comedian, there is nothing better than watching another great comedian. #Quote by Bob Newhart

#11. I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves. #Quote by Chelsea Handler

#12. Art isn't indiscriminate shit-flinging. It's pure communication, crafted with intention and care. Every comedian on every stage is saying what he's saying on purpose. So shouldn't we be welcome to examine that purpose, contextualize it within our culture at large, and critique what we find? The #Quote by Lindy West

#13. When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show. #Quote by Drew Carey

#14. I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian. #Quote by Dane Cook

#15. The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form. #Quote by Bill Hicks

#16. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. #Quote by Louis C.K.

#17. A humorist is a writer who's not funny enough to call themselves a comedian. #Quote by Dan Alatorre

#18. He'd promise to see an organic nutritionist, aromatherapist, deep-tissue masseuse, feng shui consultant, yoga master, and Mormon stand-up comedian if those promises would help him get off this mountain. #Quote by Sherman Alexie

#19. Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian. #Quote by Johnny Vegas

#20. I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do. #Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

#21. Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I've seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian. #Quote by Greg Giraldo

#22. John was the smartest and most amazing comedian I've ever worked with. I think more than teaching me about acting or comedy, he taught me about life and the love of people and respect of people. #Quote by Kaley Cuoco

#23. I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby. #Quote by David Rees

#24. I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right. #Quote by Dana Gould

#25. If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers. #Quote by Steve Allen

#26. I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at 'SNL,' I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you're going to end up at. #Quote by J. B. Smoove

#27. I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. #Quote by Jon Stewart

#28. I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens. #Quote by George Carlin

#29. As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And I think that we forget sometimes that that's the oath that comics take, that we will go up and share everything - the irreverent, the scary. #Quote by Dane Cook

#30. I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business, is really more accurate. #Quote by Steve Martin

#31. I think I'm a straight actor who occasionally does musicals; most people think I'm an eccentric comedian. It's amazing how many years you can spend in this business just sorting out something as simple and basic as that. #Quote by Ron Moody

#32. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a show host. I'm a musician. That's why I've turned down offers to host the Grammy Awards and the American Music Awards. Is it really entertaining for me to get up there and crack a few weak jokes and force people to laugh because I'm Michael Jackson, when I know in my heart that I'm not funny? #Quote by Michael Jackson

#33. There is a little bit of snobbery with casting, and unless you're a really successful comedian like Ruth Jones, you don't get to be in the drama side of things. #Quote by Rhys Thomas

#34. I wasn't planning on being a comedian; I just liked to laugh. Somebody said I should do it and that's how I started. #Quote by Jamie Kennedy

#35. I wanted to be like an actor or a comedian for a little while, because I was always wanting to make people laugh, and being stupid, so I never thought I'd be doing a job where you always have to look nice, and polished and sophisticated. #Quote by Gemma Ward

#36. Chris Rock went from a guy whose name you knew from SNL to a legendary comedian by working his ass off. #Quote by Ted Alexandro

#37. When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor. #Quote by Rich Hall

#38. With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable. #Quote by Gary Gulman

#39. Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case ... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward. #Quote by Jon Stewart

#40. I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people. #Quote by Dane Cook

#41. I'm the only comedian qualified to navigate a supertanker. #Quote by Peter Baynham

#42. It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working. #Quote by Elayne Boosler

#43. Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God. #Quote by Russell Brand

#44. Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows. #Quote by Emo Philips

#45. Comedians have varying levels of training. It can range from classically trained actors (like Robin Williams) to people who took comedy classes to folks who just started doing it. That's the beauty of comedy: it's close to a pure meritocracy. #Quote by Ted Alexandro

#46. Because they're probably long gone. Are you hurt?" Gabe asked with enough urgency that she realized he must have felt shiver in delayed reaction to the hole in the door.
"No. No, I'm okay. What a about you? Are you hurt?"
"Only if you count the fact that you damned near ripped off my plumbing groping around for my phone."
She made a sound of exasperation. "Now? You pick now to become a comedian?"
"It's all about timing," he whispered back. #Quote by Cindy Gerard

#47. Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em. #Quote by Flip Wilson

#48. No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader. #Quote by Adam Carolla

#49. I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the "nerd" moniker. But I don't get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a "racist" comedian. #Quote by Aziz Ansari

#50. I didn't become a comedian to work this hard. #Quote by Chelsea Handler

#51. Can you fail and still be strong, Can you not fit in and accept yourself, Can you lose everything and still keep searching, Can you be in the dark and still believe in the light. #Quote by Kevin Hart - I Can't Make This Up

#52. As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.' #Quote by Joan Rivers

#53. Acting is the great love of my life. It gives you permission to use all parts of yourself. Permission to be the hero, the love interest, the comedian, the villain. Transformation excites me. So does truth. Nothing is more thrilling, hilarious, and tragic than the truth. Those things motivated me to become an actor. Also, they always have the best food on set. #Quote by Blake Griffin

#54. As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do. #Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

#55. I'm attracted to working with comedians because they don't have that stars' idea of what a hero should be. The downside is they're always addressing the camera too much. #Quote by Michel Gondry

#56. A lot of comedians are selfish. #Quote by J. B. Smoove

#57. There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him. #Quote by Bob Saget

#58. No small part of the club's audience consisted of would-be comics, as well as the leading comics of the day. In fact, there were so many gagsters around that it was difficult to know who was part of the act and who was just sitting in. #Quote by Kliph Nesteroff

#59. Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her. #Quote by Tim Conway

#60. The average comedian is kind of an observer looking at everyday things that everyone could relate to and then trying to find the exaggeration in those things. #Quote by Aries Spears

#61. The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh. #Quote by Leslie Nielsen

#62. My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it. #Quote by Robin Williams

#63. A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work. #Quote by Gabriel Iglesias

#64. I knew that drinking and doing stand-up was going to make me less of an effective comedian. And I just had a lot invested in wanting to be a really good comedian and so I stopped for that reason. #Quote by Greg Fitzsimmons

#65. I don't think that comedians have a tradition of trashing the next generation. #Quote by Franklyn Ajaye

#66. All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life. #Quote by David Letterman

#67. A kitten is the most irresistible comedian in the world. Its wide-open eyes gleam with wonder and mirth. It darts madly at nothing at all, and then, as though suddenly checked in the pursuit, prances sideways on its hind legs with ridiculous agility and zeal. #Quote by Agnes Repplier

#68. When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998) #Quote by Henny Youngman

#69. I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire. #Quote by Mickey Rooney

#70. I am pleased to say that I am not a tortured comedian - I laugh a lot. My twenties weren't particularly happy, but it's the same for a lot of people. In your thirties, you realise that your life and your worries are really insignificant, and you have to force yourself to be more positive and take each day as a gift. #Quote by Miranda Hart

#71. I have what we call a 'symphony act.' I'm the only comedian, I think, in the country that does it. #Quote by Robert Klein

#72. A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it. #Quote by Bob Saget

#73. When I was seven, I said, "I want to act." When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do. #Quote by Eddie Izzard

#74. A calendar helps you plan work, gives you concrete goals, and keeps you on track. The comedian Jerry Seinfeld has a calendar method that helps him stick to his daily joke writing. He suggests that you get a wall calendar that shows you the whole year. Then, you break your work into daily chunks. Each day, when you're finished with your work, make a big fat X in the day's box. Every day, instead of just getting work done, your goal is to just fill a box. "After a few days you'll have a chain," Seinfeld says. "Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain." Get a calendar. Fill the boxes. Don't break the chain. #Quote by Austin Kleon

#75. I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing. #Quote by Steven Wright

#76. Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting. #Quote by Jim Jefferies

#77. It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness. #Quote by Paul Merton

#78. There's so many variables in comedy. Comedy is not this thing that's a performance like a play. It's really an interaction with every single person in the room. And if there's a weirdness in the room for any people, be it something the comedians did at the top of the set or be it the mixture of the people isn't right, something can go awry. So it's really great to see you proven wrong about someone. #Quote by B. J. Porter

#79. When you deal with a comedian who has a specific act, you can't hold 'em back. You got to work with 'em, dude. What you think, I'm just gonna do what's on the page, say 'yes sir, no sir'? I'm creatively beyond that. #Quote by Pauly Shore

#80. But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake. #Quote by Parker Posey

#81. Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost? #Quote by Chris Rock

#82. Who's famous anymore? No one. There are these comedians that are famous in a weird way. There are comedians, like Anjelah Johnson and Russell Peters, [who] are unbelievably famous, but in a way they're selling out 1,000-person stadiums. #Quote by Moshe Kasher

#83. Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event. #Quote by Chelsea Handler

#84. I spent more time in America, but I developed a very English sense of humour. I clicked into it deeply with Peter Sellers, who is still probably my favourite comedian. #Quote by Christopher Guest

#85. When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me. #Quote by Carrot Top

#86. Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous. #Quote by Dave Chappelle

#87. A stranger could drive through Miguel Street and just say "Sum!" because he could see no more. But we who lived there saw our street as a world, where everybody was quite different from everybody else. Mam-man was mad; George was stupid; Big Foot was a bully; hat was an adventurer; Popo was a philosopher; and Morgan was our comedian. #Quote by V.S. Naipaul

#88. I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write. #Quote by Jim Gaffigan

#89. All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter. #Quote by Fred Allen

#90. When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying. #Quote by Roseanne Barr

#91. Dick Van Dyke was my first idol. He's an amazing physical comedian, like a classic clown, but also very smart and not afraid to show vulnerability. #Quote by Douglas Wood

#92. The confusion inherent in the word comics has been apparent to those writing in the filed for years. The word has a plural form but is singular in application. And in its singular form, comic, it can be an adjective for something humorous or another name for a comedian. In short, comics lacks the precision it ought to have for ordinary communication let alone serious philosophical deliberations. #Quote by Robert C. Harvey

#93. Like the burlesque comedian, I am abnormally fond of that precision which creates movement. #Quote by E. E. Cummings

#94. I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that's exactly what you'll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you'll never be worried with a human audience. #Quote by Kristen Schaal

#95. People have been telling me I'm a failure and that I'm doing it all wrong for 20 years now. Never trust anybody when they tell you how your story goes. You know your story. You write your own story. #Quote by Kevin Smith

#96. I feel like Jim Carrey is probably the closest thing to a true physical comedian that we have working today. #Quote by Josh Gad

#97. I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. #Quote by Jimmy Carr

#98. Comedy, much of the time, is built on disorder. Comedy is intoxicating to a young mind in distress. You see these famous people pointing out the ridiculousness of a world that you've never been able to make sense of. Comedians offer the hope, the chance, however slim, that it's not you that's broken but the world. And they dress up in cool clothes! And hang out with various late-night hosts named Jimmy! And they make people laugh, and those people then love them. I can't say for certain that depression leads people to a career in comedy, but it seems like the path is smoothly paved and well lit.

Comedian Solomon Georgio came to the United States as a refugee from Ethiopia when he was three years old, and his family relied on comedy early on for entertainment and education. "We all loved comedy because that's one of the few things that we comprehended when we didn't speak the language," he says. "Surprisingly, standup comedy, too, which, even though we didn't know what was going on, you kind of see a rhythm and you know people are being entertained and laughing along. So we watched a lot of old television. Three Stooges, I Love Lucy, and, like, slapstick. We just immediately started watching and enjoying. So you can only imagine how disappointed I was when I met my first white person in real life and I was like, 'Oh, you're not like the Three Stooges. I can't slap you and poke you in the eye. You guys aren't doing any of that stuff out here. Okay. #Quote by John Moe

#99. I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them. #Quote by Colin Quinn

#100. Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much. #Quote by Joe Rogan

#101. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. #Quote by George Carlin

#102. The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true, Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't even forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform. #Quote by Dave Chappelle

#103. He's high," Kevin told Neil. "He tells me when he's sober, so I always know. How did you figure it out?" "They're twins, but they're not the same." Neil lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "One of them hates your obsession with Exy while the other couldn't care less." Kevin looked to Andrew, but Andrew only had eyes for Neil. Andrew took a second to process those words before he started laughing. "He's a comedian, too? An athlete and a comic and a student. How multitalented. What a grand addition to the Fox line. I can't wait to find out what else he can do. Perhaps we should throw a talent show and find out? #Quote by Nora Sakavic

#104. Every single comedian in Canada is now living in the United States. #Quote by Tucker Carlson

#105. Wrangel pretended to combat the Bolsheviks, Bolshevism is Jewry. In order to retain the favor of the Jews holding the real power in England, France and the United States, Wrangel showed to the Jews signs of his submission to them. Thereafter the Russian masses abandoned Wrangel as a traitor or as a comedian. It is impossible simultaneously to be an auxiliary of the Jew and an enemy of the Bolsheviki who are Jews. Be it incoherence or treason, Wrangel deserved the same fate as Denikin and he got it. #Quote by Boris Brasol

#106. Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. #Quote by Chris Rock

#107. I'm a stand-up comedian-turned-actor-turned-vampire at night. #Quote by Vir Das

#108. I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor ... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian. #Quote by Steve Carell

#109. I think of myself as an Indian comedian, but I've had British and American schooling. I always had this feeling of not fitting in anywhere, of observing situations from the outside. #Quote by Vir Das

#110. Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.' #Quote by Mike Birbiglia

#111. I suppose in our culture - in our lifetime - we've always enjoyed people who tell it straight. We like our presidents, our comedians, and our actors to do that ... It's funny. You say that people prefer a tasteful formalism - as opposed to an oppressive formalism - but I do feel very strongly that form follows function. #Quote by Oliver Stone

#112. I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian. #Quote by Chris Rock

#113. The tragic hero prefers death to prudence. The comedian prefers playing tricks to winning. Only the villain really plays to win. #Quote by Mason Cooley

#114. I always wanted to be a comedian, but I wasn't sure how you do that. #Quote by Ron Shock

#115. I was an actor before becoming a comedian. #Quote by Shelley Berman

#116. I'm a good counter comedian. I can just work it off with looks, or have something crazy to say back. That works for me. #Quote by Ice Cube

#117. I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to be able to play Hamlet properly. #Quote by Ian McKellen

#118. I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor. #Quote by Kevin Nealon

#119. When you're a comedian, you're just by yourself. #Quote by Maria Bamford

#120. I think it's kind of crazy that we're still calling comedians "female comedians." That seems more like a sneak attack. #Quote by Ilana Glazer

#121. Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist. #Quote by Kathy Griffin

#122. I'm not a comedian. I'm what you call a good, old-fashioned working actor who has had delusions of grandeur for my entire career and has known what I want to do. #Quote by Chris Diamantopoulos

#123. I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that's what I'm most comfortable doing. #Quote by Eddie Murphy

#124. It may sound surprising, but a joke and a crime novel work in very much the same way. The comedian/writer leads their audience along the garden path. The audience know what's coming, or at least they think they do until they get hit from a direction they were not expecting. #Quote by Mark Billingham

#125. I am so hot for Chevy. I have even imagined what my first line to him will be – the one that will capture his heart. 'Chevy Chase?' I will say, at a party very closely modelled on the ones I've seen in Dynasty. 'Any relation to Cannock Chase?' Cannock Chase is just off the A5 to Stafford. LA-born movie star and comedian Chevy is going to both get, and love, this joke. #Quote by Caitlin Moran

#126. One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat. #Quote by Margaret Cho

#127. When people laugh at me, they are not laughing in the way that they normally would at a comedian. They are laughing with relief, because the truth has been spoken, and political correctness has not strangled this particular gigastar. #Quote by Barry Humphries

#128. A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it. #Quote by Chelsea Handler

#129. I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think. #Quote by Bo Burnham

#130. I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes. #Quote by Paul Rudd

#131. I'm not a confrontational person or comedian. I think we can explore more things if one of us is not fighting with the other. I take it easy. But I do like comedians who are very different from myself: I love dry comics with deadpan one-liners. I look on and think, 'That's amazing; why didn't I think of that?' #Quote by Trevor Noah

#132. You have the luck of a comedian. Bad luck in things that don't matter. Good luck in things that do. #Quote by Andrew Sean Greer

#133. I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent. #Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

#134. I love comedy. I don't approach it any different. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a stand-up. I just do it like a part and personally, I love to watch comedies. If you don't get to do what you like to watch you get frustrated. #Quote by Uma Thurman

#135. I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say. #Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

#136. I come from the stage. I started my career as a stand-up comedian and then later on became an actor. #Quote by Patrick Huard

#137. There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process. #Quote by David Walliams

#138. I always stayed away from political commentary. First of all, I didn't feel entitled. What I may feel about a candidate, I'm a comedian. I mean, if people like my comedy, that doesn't mean they should vote for the person I like. That's why I always kind of stayed away from endorsements. #Quote by Bob Newhart

#139. Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken. #Quote by Joe Rogan

#140. I always wanted to be a comedian and actor, [ ... ] I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance. #Quote by Bo Burnham

#141. One can always lament, you know - but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian. #Quote by Martha Graham

#142. It's good to be funny when you are a comedian. #Quote by George Lindsey

#143. During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian. #Quote by Al Franken

#144. Any of Bette Midler's concerts should be required viewing for every actor/performer. She has the audience in the palm of her hands at all times and can switch emotions on a dime: Great singer, great actress, great comedian - fearless. #Quote by Bryan Batt

#145. I was a standup comedian, which is kind of like writing and directing yourself. #Quote by Paul Feig

#146. The idea of a Japanese comedian was not only a rarity, it was non-existent. #Quote by Pat Morita

#147. Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking. #Quote by Jimmy Fallon

#148. I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. #Quote by Jamie Foxx

#149. What is she doing here? I wondered. Hasn't she had enough green-upping? #Quote by Lisa Papademetriou

#150. I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy. #Quote by Bo Burnham

#151. A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny. #Quote by Buster Keaton

#152. For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing. #Quote by Jim Gaffigan

#153. Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood. #Quote by Don Rickles

#154. A lot of times people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misunderstand us. They think it should be wild and crazy, or loud music, and comedians are typically pretty mellow people that just want to talk to each other. I think it would be highly unusual to find comedians who want to be at a loud, crowded party. #Quote by Tig Notaro

#155. The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences. #Quote by Bob Newhart

#156. When I was communicating with the spirit world many years ago, time was explained to me as like a giant circle that loops back on itself. Perhaps it would help to explain the concept that past, present, and future are all happening simultaneously, and not on a linear path, and allows us to experience many lives at the same time. It also brings into play the concept of parallel dimensions. My brain finds this very hard to absorb, but Sid Caesar, a US actor, writer, and comedian, summed it up brilliantly: #Quote by Barry Eaton

#157. I went to school to be a comedian. I was always cracking jokes in class. And after they were cracked, the teacher would try to put them back together. #Quote by Jarod Kintz

#158. I think a lot of actors, comedians, musicians, artists are drawn to this world, because you're allowed to excavate whatever it is that you're struggling with, and hopefully turn it into art. #Quote by Sandra Bullock

#159. Those who say that Serena isn't serious about tennis; she wants to go Hollywood. That's true, about Hollywood. I would love to get a lot of acting gigs. But you wouldn't believe the stuff I've turned down because of my tournament schedule ... I would do well beside (comedian) Chris Tucker. #Quote by Serena Williams

#160. If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me. #Quote by Jack Dee

#161. Lydia shook her head. "This is my life. Getting yelled at in a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night by somebody doing a bad impression of PG-13 fart-joke-movie comedian. #Quote by Jeff Zentner

#162. I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength. #Quote by Steve Martin

#163. All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world. #Quote by Bob Newhart

#164. I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there. #Quote by George Carlin

#165. I was actually pretty shy in school. My defense mechanism was to be the class clown. I remember getting into a lot of trouble for being disruptive, and I was brought in front of the headteacher, who said: 'What's going to happen to you; what are you going to do when you grow up?' and I said: 'Well, I'm obviously going to be a comedian.' #Quote by Adam Clayton

#166. The comedian just wants to get a laugh. #Quote by Casey Wilson

#167. I've been insane for a long time. An ex-girlfriend of mine once asked, "Is it true that all comedians are depressed?," and I said, "Every one I know is." #Quote by Jason Gann

#168. Comedy is crowded. There are hundreds of comedians in every place in the world. #Quote by Trevor Noah

#169. I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject. #Quote by Nick Thune

#170. Genuinely love doing standup and I'm a comedian first, so for me what makes my standup special is the fact that I don't have to adapt or adjust. I am who I am. I appeal to everyone, hence in the movie doing a world tour. #Quote by Kevin Hart

#171. I was diagnosed with autism at the age of five. I wasn't diagnosed as a comedian until much later. #Quote by Michael McCreary

#172. I never thought I'd be a comedian. But, growing up, I simply loved watching comedy. The '80s was huge for comedy in the US. Eddie Murphy blew me away with his film Delirious. #Quote by Arj Barker

#173. So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working out so good ... I wonder if maybe I could've been a comedian or something like that, or maybe I could've been a doctor, then I wouldn't have to make anyone laugh. #Quote by Dave Matthews

#174. Appurv Gupta brings you a unique point of view that no other comedian in India does. Well worth a watch. #Quote by Papa CJ

#175. Today, you can look across the conference table at your co-workers and see the red-haired behemoth, the kid with the runny nose, the football team captain, the cheerleader, the geek with the taped horn-rimmed glasses, the ever-present bully, and of course, the comedian. Other than being advanced in age and maturity (which is always a matter of opinion), we're working with the same personalities that we've grown up with during recess on the playground ... #Quote by David R. Smat

#176. Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion. #Quote by Ted Alexandro

#177. You don't need to be stable to be a stand-up comedian. #Quote by David Steinberg

#178. All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be. #Quote by Jimmy Carr

#179. I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly. #Quote by Diane Neal

#180. I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange. #Quote by Demetri Martin

#181. I wanted to be a comedian. #Quote by Kelly Slater

#182. My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' #Quote by Paula Poundstone

#183. I'm always trying to find the next comedian that just gives me something a little funny to combine with all of the depressing news that I'm processing. #Quote by Jesse Williams

#184. When you see a crowd of people jumping up and down at a pop concert, all gloriously in the moment, I don't think you'll ever see a comedian there. They'll all be standing at the sides, looking at how it all fits together. #Quote by Steve Coogan

#185. Do the Sanguinati have trouble with mosquitoes?"
"You mean, do the big bloodsuckers get pestered by the little bloodsuckers?"
Judging by my attorney's laughter, if I failed to turn The Jumble into a viable business, I could always get a job as a stand-up comedian in a vampire bar. #Quote by Anne Bishop

#186. Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take. #Quote by Franklyn Ajaye

#187. Your average comedian doesn't know the podcast universe, really. #Quote by Scott Aukerman

#188. As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year. #Quote by Elayne Boosler

#189. I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me. #Quote by Jon Stewart

#190. The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants. #Quote by Woody Allen

#191. One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear. #Quote by Bob Newhart

#192. It's weird to sit as a comedian. Being still drives me crazy. #Quote by Seth Meyers

#193. You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that. #Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

#194. A stand-up comedian will never be the life of a party. Instead, he will be the guy who is standing at a corner and observing people. #Quote by Vir Das

#195. Reggie Watts is a most unusual talent: a huge vocal range, a natural musicality, and a sidesplitting wit. Is he a comedian? A singer? A performance artist? I've seen him a few times since then and I still can't decide. Whatever, he ain't like nobody else. #Quote by Brian Eno

#196. I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly #Quote by Peter Cook

#197. I never predicted that I'd be a comedian, but it was something that came so naturally to me. I just felt good doing it. #Quote by Omar Sy

#198. We [me and my husband] both had our things. Seth was the artist, I was the singer. We were like "You do your thing, I'll do my thing and never the two shall meet." I think we had a healthy competition going through our childhood. But I sort of left the funny stuff to him, I said "You're the comedian, you're the jokester, you do that I'll be the more serious one." You need that kind of balance in the family. #Quote by Rachael MacFarlane

#199. But since death is inevitable we don't have to deal with it (it'll deal with us when it decides to). What we do have to deal with is the psychic, physical, and fusion diseases wrought during our so-called lives as byproducts of the elemental clash. In other words we're all terminally psychotic and no doctor, hospital, pill, needle, book or guru holds the cure. Because the disease is called life and there is no cure for that but death and death's just part of the set-up designed to keep you terrified and thus in bondage from the cradle to the crypt so ha ha the joke's on you except there's no punchline and the comedian forgot you ever existed as even a comma. #Quote by Lester Bangs

#200. It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn't want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, "I need you guys." I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn't want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me. #Quote by Anthony Jeselnik