Boxers Funny Quotes

#1. I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. #Quote by Frank Carson

#2. It's a funny thing sensing someone else's sex drive. After a while, you get to mistaking it for your own. #Quote by Haruki Murakami

#3. Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into."
Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard."
"As hard as I could. #Quote by John Flanagan

#4. My life had made me funny, and cancer wasn't going to change that, #Quote by Gilda Radner

#5. IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round ! #Quote by Richard Madeley

#6. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. #Quote by Casey Stengel

#7. Sadly, however, the sight of her generous D cups no longer sparked an ounce of interest from Little Sam, the man in charge of social activities. #Quote by Sarah Mayberry

#8. I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day. #Quote by Matthew Lillard

#9. How he has patience for foreplay right now is beyond me. Then again, I was always the kid who peeked at my Christmas presents before they were wrapped, so … maybe when it comes to fun shit, I'm just overzealous. #Quote by Laura Thalassa

#10. The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. #Quote by Thomas A. Edison

#11. It's funny because you always think a real friendship can weather any storm, but human relationships can be as flimsy as paper boats in a tsunami."
~ page 97 #Quote by Steven Parlato

#12. Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. #Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

#13. She is so funny, stubborn and selfish; and that makes her so special. #Quote by M.F. Moonzajer

#14. Only a complete alcoholic can think life is funny ... any life! ... #Quote by Louis Ferdinand Celine

#15. Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny. #Quote by Candace Bushnell

#16. You could start an argument in an empty house. #Quote by Jill Shalvis

#17. What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning! #Quote by Cory Doctorow

#18. Farmers don't nap," he said. "Knights nap."

"That's where we get the expression 'a good knight's sleep,'" Will said, smiling at his own wit. Halt turned a baleful eye on him.

"Horace is right. You're not funny. #Quote by John Flanagan

#19. Whatever it is," I said, "the point is moot because as long as I'm on these pills, I can't make contact to ask."
Derek ... snapped, "Then you need to stop taking the pills."
Love to. If I could. But after what happened last night, they're giving me urine tests now."
Ugh. That's harsh." Simon went quiet, then snapped his fingers.
Hey, I've got an idea. It's kinda gross, but what if you take the pills, crush them and mix them with your, you know, urine."
Derek stared at him.
What?"
You did pass chem last year, didn't you?"
Simon flipped him the finger. "Okay, genius, what's your idea?"
I'll think about it. ..."

***

Here," Derek whispered, pressing an empty Mason jar into my hand. He'd pulled me aside after class and we were now standing at the base of the boy's staircase. "Take this up to your room and hide it."
It's a ... jar."
He grunted, exasperated that I was so dense I failed to see the critical importance of hiding an empty Mason jar in my room.
It's for your urine."
My what?"
He rolled his eyes, a growl-like sound sliding through his teeth as
he leaned down, closer to my ear. "Urine. Pee. Whatever. For the testing."
I lifted the jar to eye level. "I think they'll give me something
smaller."
...
You took your meds today, right?" he whispered.
I nodded.
Then use this jar to save it."
Save . . . ?"
Your urine. If you give them some of toda #Quote by Kelley Armstrong

#20. For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. #Quote by Quentin Crisp

#21. A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market. #Quote by Austin O'Malley

#22. Congratulations to each and every one of you for the concert last night in New York and vice versa. #Quote by Eugene Ormandy

#23. I would never do crack ... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? #Quote by Denis Leary

#24. You think this is funny?" I snorted. "You would. Your sense of humor is so dark, even the lesser demons don't get you. #Quote by Pippa DaCosta

#25. Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick. #Quote by Nicole McKay

#26. Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? #Quote by Molly Harper

#27. Had I known that any contact from this beautiful stranger would forever change me – would mark me for the rest of my life, wreck me from the inside out, completely break me down until I was nothing but a memory of who I used to be – I would still have made the same choice.
Funny, how people always say they want second chances, yet had I been given one. I would have travelled down the same road. Every. Single. Time. #Quote by Rachel Van Dyken

#28. In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud. #Quote by Will Rogers

#29. Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. #Quote by Don Herold

#30. I'm always trying to find the next comedian that just gives me something a little funny to combine with all of the depressing news that I'm processing. #Quote by Jesse Williams

#31. We sat down and told stories that happened to us in our childhood, to our children. They were all basically based on the truth. These stories were funny and poignant to us. They just took off. These are all stories from my life. #Quote by Howie Mandel

#32. Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. #Quote by Edwin Arlington Robinson

#33. Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one in history affects everyone. #Quote by Bauvard

#34. Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. #Quote by Woody Allen

#35. You're back," Sam said, as if he couldn't quite believe it.
She lifted her chin, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "Obviously."
He tilted his head slightly to the side. "How was the desert?"
There wasn't a scratch on him. Of course, her face had healed too but ... "Hot," she said. Sam let out a breathy chuckle. #Quote by Sarah J. Maas

#36. I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. #Quote by Patty Duke

#37. Charlie said, his voice rising an octave in desperation. "I know it's ridiculous, but I keep trying to rationalise everything and it's driving me crazy. Did you spot that flying horse earlier? I found myself trying to explain it with Darwin's Theory of Evolution. #Quote by Victor Kloss

#38. Knees and your shirt caught in your zipper." "I don't remember that part," Dickie said. "Did I used to do that?" "Yes." Dickie started laughing. "I wasn't making a lot of money back then. I couldn't afford a hotel room." "It's not funny!" I said. "Sure it is. Grass stains and rug burns are always funny." He looked over at Morelli. "She didn't like to do doggy." Morelli slid a look at me and smiled. There wasn't much I didn't like #Quote by Janet Evanovich

#39. They sent me the script and I thought that there was something very appealing and funny about it. Also, I was familiar with Mike Myers' work in Saturday Night Live, but I did not know the extent to which he would make this creation. #Quote by Michael York

#40. Some of the funniest things are just situations in life that are funny. The way people interact. People describing their first kiss with someone, to me, is really funny. When someone goes into detail about each moment of that, I really find that enjoyable to listen to. #Quote by Nathan Fielder

#41. Every prosperous person who does not work has a creative scheme that does. #Quote by John Otway

#42. With its missed lines and falling tombstones, 'Dark Shadows' was sometimes inadvertently funny, but what made the show work was the fact that the actors and the writers took it all very seriously. #Quote by William J. Mann

#43. Yeah, Hera was definitely channelling her inner Wicked Witch of the West that day. #Quote by Rick Riordan