Biff Quotes

#1. We can't go home," Joshua said at last. "I don't know enough yet." "No," said Gaspar, "I suspect that you don't. But you know all that you will learn here. If you come to a river and find a boat at the edge, you will use that boat to cross and it will serve you well, but once across the river, do you put the boat on your shoulders and carry it with you on the rest of your journey?" "How big is the boat?" I asked. "What color is the boat?" asked Joshua. "How far is the rest of the journey?" I queried. "Is Biff there to carry the oars, or do I have to carry everything?" asked Josh. "No!" screamed Gaspar. "No, you don't take the boat along on the journey. It has been useful but now it's simply a burden. It's a parable, you cretins! #Quote by Christopher Moore

#2. He reminded Biff of a character in a book that he'd read last summer. It was one of the most memorable and wonderful books Biff had ever read, but, as often happened, he couldn't remember the title, author, or name of the character. And yet, at the time he read it, he felt the book had enriched his life as nothing had for a long time. #Quote by Randy Powell

#3. I stretched out on the bed and slept. It was twilight when I awakened and turned on the light. I felt better, no longer tired. I went to the typewriter and sat before it. My thought was to write a sentence, a single perfect sentence. If I could write one good sentence I could write two and if I could write two I could write three, and if I could write three I could write forever. But suppose I failed? Suppose I had lost all of my beautiful talent? Suppose it had burned up in the fire of Biff Newhouse smashing my nose or Helen Brownell dead forever? What would happen to me? Would I go to Abe Marx and become a busboy again? I had seventeen dollars in my wallet. Seventeen dollars and the fear of writing. I sat erect before the typewriter and blew on my fingers. Please God, please Knut Hamsun, don't desert me now. I started to write and I wrote:
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes - and ships - and sealing wax -
Of cabbages - and kings - "
I looked at it and wet my lips. It wasn't mine, but what the hell, a man had to start someplace. #Quote by John Fante

#4. Cole - I just thought of a new game.
Jaz - What's that?
Cole - Splat the Specter.
Jaz - Rules?
Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia.
Vayl - Why Ferrets?
Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD? #Quote by Jennifer Rardin

#5. All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid. #Quote by Christopher Moore

#6. The silence in the room was deep as the night itself. Biff stood transfixed, lost in his meditations. Then suddenly he felt a quickening in him. His heart turned and he leaned his back against the counter for support. For in a swift radiance of illumination he saw a glimpse of human struggle and of valour. Of the endless fluid passage of humanity through endless time. And of those who labour and of those who - one word - love. His soul expanded. But for a moment only. For in him he felt a warning, a shaft of terror. Between the two worlds he was suspended ... suspended between radiance and darkness, between bitter irony and faith ... And would he just stand here like a jittery nanny or would he pull himself together and be reasonable? For after all was he a sensible man or was he not? #Quote by Carson McCullers

#7. Josh: "What is this thing?"
Gasper: "It's a Yeti. An abominable snowman."
Biff: "This is what happens when you fuck a sheep?"
Josh: "Not an abomination, abominable. #Quote by Christopher Moore

#8. I wrote 'Lights' a long, long time ago. And I expected it to be on the album, because it was - I wrote it with 'Biff' Stannard. And he wrote every single Spice Girls song and every single pop song of the 90s, basically. So I thought, you know, I was really lucky to work with him, but I didn't think it would be a big song for some reason. #Quote by Ellie Goulding

#9. We can't believe how many gays there are in heavy metal, people like ... #Quote by Biff Byford

#10. Willy: Remember those two beautiful elm trees out there? When I and Biff hung the swings between them?
Linda: Yeah, like being a million miles from the city. #Quote by Arthur Miller

#11. See, Biff, everybody around me is so false that I'm constantly lowering my ideals ... #Quote by Arthur Miller

#12. If Jeb Bush gets elected, I'll know that on my way back from overseas, I entered Biff Tannen's parallel universe. #Quote by Matthew D. Heines

#13. Hey, McFly!" Has Biff returned?? No! It turns out that Howard, George's neighbour, is there! And he wants to sell him Girl Scout cookies! #Quote by Ryan North

#14. I love Carter more than I ever thought possible, and he has proven to be the best father a woman could ever want for her son. But I swear to God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Christ's childhood friend, Biff, that if he doesn't stop waking me up at four-fifty-eight in the morning, every fucking morning, with his buzz saw snoring, I am going to go David Carradine on his ass. #Quote by Tara Sivec

#15. I don't think anyone outside my family knows that."
"Not even Amanda?" It came out before I could stop it.
"Not even Amanda." He reached for the soda. "Two," he muttered as he poured, "I wish more people knew that Amanda and I are not a single unit and fewer people knew that she dumped me temporarily over the summer for a lifegaurd in Loveladies named Biff." While I processed that,he finished. "Three. I bombed the PSATs."
"Oh.Well,isn't the point of preliminary tests to help you learn how to do well on the later ones?"
"Tell that to my dad. He was decided that I am now on the fast track toward a future of digging ditches."
"Come on.I'm sure he sees that it's just a prep test."
"What he sees," Alex corrected me, "is that the path of Yale, followed by Powel Law an the family firm, has gotten a little slippery."
I had no idea what to say.In my family, whatever we want to do, as long as it involves getting out of bed every morning and satisfying our souls, is considered just splendid.And that coming from multiple generations who've struggled to pay the mortgage. #Quote by Melissa Jensen

#16. Being a shepherd seems easy. I went with Kaliel last week to tend his flock. The Law says that two must go with the flock to keep an abomination from happening. I can spot an abomination from fifty paces." Maggie smiled. "And did you prevent any abominations?" "Oh yes, I kept all of the abominations at bay while Kaliel played with his favorite sheep behind the bushes." "Biff," Joshua said gravely, "that was the abomination you were supposed to prevent." "It was?" "Yes." "Whoops. #Quote by Christopher Moore

#17. Nerd boy? Where he? (Biff)
'Okay ... sad that they couldn't even form a complete sentence. See what happens when you abuse steroids? Dudes should have read the warning label. First the penis shrinks, then the sentence structure deteriorates. Next thing you know, you're climbing to the top of the Empire State Building, swatting at planes with your over-sized fists.' (Nick) #Quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon

#18. I am not a dime a dozen! I am Willy Loman, and you are Biff Loman! #Quote by Arthur Miller