Appies And Nappies Quotes

#1. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason. #Quote by Navjot Singh Sidhu

#2. People want to imagine that I have this amazing life. That I never change nappies, unload the dishwasher or have to wait in for the plumber, and that's OK, but the reality is I do do all these things! #Quote by Jade Jagger

#3. You're not a lawyer, are you?' asked the nurse suspiciously. 'One of those geniuses who gets a
degree while they're still in nappies?'
Artemis sighed. 'A genius, yes. A lawyer, hardly. I am, mademoiselle, a customer.'
And suddenly the nurse was all charm.
'Oh, a customer! Why didn't you say so? I'll show you right in. Would sir care for tea, coffee or
perhaps something stronger?'
'I am thirteen years old, mademoiselle.'
'A juice?'
'Tea would be fine. Earl Grey if you have it. No sugar, obviously; it might make me
hyperactive. #Quote by Eoin Colfer

#4. Social media is basically standing at a bucket filled with other people's vomit and you suck the vomit through a straw, and gag and wince at the unbearable taste of other people's vomit. Yet strangely we continue to suck through the straw as if we've never tasted such lovely vomit. And then before you know it you're old and you're grey. And that's the end of you. A lonely death. Your gravestone is marked with the six saddest words:

Social Media Drained My Soul Away

And they all mourn your loss at a budget funeral service while updating their social media statuses on mobile phones apps. And in years to come nobody remembers any of your updates; even those updates that you deep-down believed were going to bring about world peace. The Digital Age is more disposable than nappies and just as full of shit. #Quote by Rupert Dreyfus

#5. I've never been a hands-on dad. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but you can't run a restaurant and be home for tea at 4:30 and bath and change nappies. #Quote by Gordon Ramsay

#6. I've always found cherubs a bit sinister. The idea of winged babies flying around with no nappies on seems like an accident waiting to happen. There would be shit everywhere. If I saw a cherub flying about in real life it would terrify me, whereas a Cyclops, which is another mythical being, wouldn't scare me at all, as it's just a bloke with one eye. He'd be registered disabled and get a decent parking space in today's world. #Quote by Karl Pilkington

#7. Through all these times and formative young years, Lara, my sister, was a rock to me. My mother had suffered three miscarriages after having Lara, and eight years on she was convinced that she wasn't going to be able to have more children. But Mum got pregnant, and she tells me she spent nine months in bed to make sure she didn't miscarry.
It worked. Mum saved me.
The end result, though, was that she was probably pleased to get me out, and that Lara finally got herself a precious baby brother; or in effect, her own baby. So Lara ended up doing everything for me, and I adored her for it.
While Mum was a busy working mother, helping my father in his constituency duties and beyond, Lara became my surrogate mum. She fed me almost every supper I ate--from when I was a baby up to about five years old. She changed my nappies, she taught me to speak, then to walk (which, with so much attention from her, of course happened ridiculously early). She taught me how to get dressed and to brush my teeth.
In essence, she got me to do all the things that either she had been too scared to do herself or that just simply intrigued her, such as eating raw bacon or riding a tricycle down a steep hill with no brakes.
I was the best rag doll of a baby brother that she could have ever dreamt of. #Quote by Bear Grylls

#8. You're gonna really scare them grown-ups, Paddy,' said Achilleus. 'They'll be filling their nappies in fright. #Quote by Charlie Higson

#9. I don't ask my wife to face Michael Holding, so there's no reason why I should be changing nappies #Quote by Ian Botham

#10. Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos? #Quote by Wanda Sykes

#11. If I had a choice about going to a meeting at a studio or changing a nappy, I'd choose the nappy. #Quote by Tim Burton

#12. Love yourself. Just love yourself. In fact, the love of the self cures every kind of problem you have with yourself. For instance, if someone calls you nappy-headed, it rolls right off your body, if you love nappy hair. Or if someone calls you buck-toothed or too black, that won't be a problem if you love being buck-toothed or black. If you love it, then so what. The development of self-love cures many of the ills that people suffer from. #Quote by Alice Walker

#13. Haggis is a brand of nappies.' I said. 'They're good, we used them for our daughter.'
'Haggis is a kind of food too,' said Semyon, shaking his head. 'Although as far as taste goes, there's probably not much difference. #Quote by Sergei Lukyanenko

#14. Shitty nappy whizzing through the air, you don't see that in the brochures. #Quote by Karl Pilkington

#15. I think I'd be more relaxed as an older mum, although fundamentally life with a baby is pretty much the same whatever age you are. It's nappies, crying, feeding. #Quote by Rachel Hunter